Great news! My Uterus decided to get into the spirit of Valentines Day! What a nice surprise! It looks like I have a recreation of the Saint Valentines Massacre going on in my panties.
Ugh, I hate this time of the month. Sorry, but yes, this is going to be a period post. If this sort of thing grosses you out, then go read something else, you wussy. I'm living it, with no choice in the matter, so therefore I feel I have the right, and yeah, almost a need to write about it.
Hubby gets all nastied out when I try to talk to him about it. To him, seeing the wadded up rags in the trash can are enough to cause him to gag. Okay, guys, do you think we (us girls) actually like not being able to get any for 5 to 7 days?! Do you think its fun for us to have to haul ass to the bathroom to change a nasty, overflowing, mini cotton diaper every 2 to 4 hours?! What about those nice little "accidents" that have brought back the sweater tied around your waist fad? (Actually I think that's a centuries old fad. As long as girls have been accidentally leaking onto their pants, we have had sweaters to cover our asses.) Cramps are a BLAST let me tell you! There is nothing more fun than being woken up at 4 in the morning by excruciating pain in the lower abdomen. Oh, and the actual feeling of your uterus leaking into your panties is swell too. I mean, who wouldn't want the feeling of peeing your pants with out any control of how and when it happens. My favorite part is getting out of the shower in the morning, only to drip a few drops of blood onto my nice off white bath rug. Oh yeah. Love having to scrub a rug before work.
Scrub a rug. That would be a kick ass song title. Maybe I'll write a period song for us girls and title it "Scrub a Rug". That might also be a good lesbian song title..
I think the worst is the chocolate cravings. I am not normally a chocolate type of girl. Most times I don't even like chocolate very much. For the first few days of Aunt Flow's visit, however, I can not get enough! I want m&m's, kitkats, Hersheys with Almonds, anything I can get my grubby little hands on! I feel like a fucking PIG!
The emotional roller coaster is no picnic either. One minute I'm happy, everything is fine, the next I feel like curling up into the fetal position and crying myself to sleep! WTF?! Its totally irrational and it drives me crazy. (short drive these days) I know its my hormones going crazy inside me that causes all these side effects. That doesn't make it any easier to handle, though.
The point to this post? There isn't one. You gotta problem with that? Ha, join the fucking club. I just wanted to get these few random period thoughts out of my brain. Its my blog..If you don't like it, then hit that clever little button at the top right of the screen that says "Next Blog" and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
See what a bitch I am?! Yeah, I think its time to sequester myself to the bedroom with a pint of Rocky Road, some good tear jerking chick flicks, and ride the hormonal storm out.
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