Long Weekend

Woo Hoo! 4 days off of work!! This would be me, if I was green, only had one eye and an antennae..

Luckily I don't, otherwise I don't think the Hubby would have married me. I would have most likely either been the most popular freak in high school, or shunned from society, roaming from circus to circus, until the Mothership arrived to take me back to my home planet of ZOIFKSJHKJSHIUWENNS. (yes, that's it's correct name. If you were from that planet it would make perfect sense...)

I hope everyone has a very Safe and Happy 4th of July Weekend! Slutty Hoe, Lord Dragon, you guys drive safe. I'll see ya in a few hours!! YAAY!

We Miss You, Aunt Gwen

On this day, 2 years ago, Slutty Hoe, Momma and I had to do one of the hardest things we have ever done. We had to say good bye to the beutiful woman in the picture above. I have been riding a knifes edge of tears all day, as I'm sure Slutty Hoe and Momma are doing.

Aunt Gwen was a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out. I always felt she was special and important to me, but I never knew how truly big her heart was until I attended her memorial service that had standing room only. She touched a lot of peoples lives and made them better. She was always quick with a smile (a small trait I hope I got from her), a kind word, and laughter. She was a role model to me and the closest thing to a sister as she could come to my momma. She was the first one Momma called when either Slutty Hoe or I had a major (or even sometimes minor) event happen in our lives. She was there from the day I was born, and I thought she would always be there. Even though hundreds of miles seperated us, I always felt her presence in my life.

You may be wondering why it took me two years to write about her. Well, its been hard. I have taken the easy way out, by not dealing with it, and pushing it down, much like I do with a lot of my other feelings. A total guy trait, I know, but it works. For a while at least. Today, though, I feel I should say something. It hurts, yes, but a woman like her does not deserve to be forgotten. I know I cant accuratly express how much Aunt Gwen meant to us. Even now, as I write this, the tears come too easy.

I think about you all the time Aunt Gwen. I know your up in heaven, watching over us three, most likely drinking (if thats allowed in heaven. I would think it would be, with out all the nasty hangovers), playing with Fred and some of the other friends we have lost along the way. We still miss you, and I know there isnt a day that goes by that at least one of us wishes you were still here.

We love you, and always will. Looking forward to seeing you again...one day.
For more information on her life, please read her obit
here


*Just a little note, I didnt proof read this post. If you find mistakes, please forgive them this one time. In the future I will be sure to make it up to you.*

King Keeler, Big Wheeler, Cat Peeler...Yeah

Every day I walk out of the house, its an adventure. Take this past Sunday for example. The hubby and I decided to drive down to the car wash so I may wash my very dirty Truck. We pull into the first bay, and start pulling out the mats when I hear a voice behind me say "Hey Man....". There are usually a few transients waiting around asking for change in that area, so it really didn't come as a surprise that we were approached. What was a surprise was this guys angle. Now, I have heard everything from "I ran out of gas, can you help me out" (with no car in site. How far did you walk, dude?!) to the honest truth, such as "Can I have some spare change for a pack of smokes". This guy reached a whole new level. First off he asks for 3 dollars for antibiotics. (I've never encountered a bum who wanted exact change) He goes on to tell Hubby that he needs them for this...and dumbass me, I look. He has this HUGE, NASTY cyst or sore or something growing out of his arm about shoulder level. It was the size of a Baseball, I shit you not. If I could have had the foresite to take a pic with my phone to post up here, I would have. This picture was the closest I could find..Ugh.


I am a huge wussy when it comes to wounds. I love my hubby, but I sure as hell don't want to take a closer look at the huge gaping wound he had just acquired. Why this guy thought I wanted to look closer at his is beyond me. The hubby gave him the 3 bucks but he didn't go away though. He still had to show hubby his collection of pennies he had gathered and then proceeded to wander around the rest of the car wash. We continued on washing the truck, not making any comment at what we had just seen. After a few minutes I didn't hear the Puss Guy anymore, so I relaxed a little. I don't know why I was so tense. Seriously, if Puss Dude had tried to touch me all I would have to do is land a punch right there in his ginormous Ball-o-Flesh and Puss and he would have probably dropped like a baby. But living in this city, I know to be on alert all the time while I'm out of the house. Not like my house is much more secure, but at least I have weapons of all kinds readily available. Its just I have known people (women mostly) who have been robbed in broad daylight, so I'm always sure to be aware of what is going on around me, who is around me, and what my options are in case I run into a problem. I think I could have handled Puss Dude though as long as he didn't leak on me. Om only know what the hell caused that in the first place and I sure as hell don't want it in my body.


About 10 minutes after I had last hear Puss Dude talking I see him come out of the gas station right next door. First he stops to ask the guy smoking outside if he has any matches. Then Puss Dude hooks up with his buddy and they walk across the street, to home I would guess. He gets about half way across the road when he starts yelling and waving at the hubby. He just wanted to say Hi and thanks again. Nice.


I wonder how long Puss Dude is going to work that antibiotic angle? I mean he can only do it until his arm falls off or he gets it fixed. Will he really get it taken care of though? Why should he when he can use his disfigurment to scare and even disgust people into giving him money? Really, he doesn't even need any cash to go to the doctors to get help. I'm not sure how it is in other states, but I know here, there are services like that for people who cant afford regular medical help. Yeah, he will probably be there all day waiting, but is that much different than a regular doctors office visit? Also, he could go to any emergency room with how bad that thing was, and get help. By law a hospital can not turn some one away who is dire need of medical help, weather they can pay or not. I know this. The hubby knows this. I figured it was common knowledge. So, really, this guy shouldn't be able to scam money in such a way. But, on the other hand, the shock value of having a baseball sized lump of pussy flesh shoved into your face certainly over rides any common sense, other than the ones that scream RUN!!! That's why I think he will continue to use that excuse for bumming cash until it gets too bad and either puts him in the hospital or worse.

I feel sorry for the guy, I really do. I wish there was more I could do for him. I try to help out with charities when I can, donate the odd dollar or 2 to the panhandler standing at the exit ramp off of the freeway. Especially if they have a dog. The dog suckers me in every single time. But this guy...I totally believe he just blew whatever cash he had acquired right there in that gas station and will be out again, showing off his wound to other unsuspecting people, getting his "3 dollars" a hit.
Everyday is an adventure.....

Making a Mess and Loving it

Yep, that's yours truly and Slutty Hoe as young'ens. Hard to believe we were ever that little and cute! Its true though. I have pictures to prove it. MUHAHAHA

I was trying to think of some memories I could share with you, but alas, my brain has quit for the day. Seriously, if I look inside my eyelids, there is a sign that says "Gone Crazy. Back Soon". I am a little worried. Meh, I doubt it could find a dirtier place than my skull to reside in. And if anything, my brain likes it DIRTY...

So, enjoy the pic. You don't have to read this post by the way. Not like it says anything world changing. Or even awe inspiring. If your looking for those things I would suggest some other blogger. This is just me. Rambling on and on with more titles for posts than I have actual posts..

Hope ya'alls Tuesdays went well. Mine is over in 13 minutes and counting........

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head

Dude, I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to have a good day. I have been having such shitty ass days, that I finally had enough. I decided that no matter what happened today I would greet it with a smile, patience, and with a rational attitude. Then I actually GET into work and TRAVIS has sent me 3 fucking videos that completely took up my entire storage space in my work email address!! I only got the videos from him, one fucking spam message, and 2 notifications that my inbox was full. WTF???? I forwarded 1 message to him yesterday. A message, not a video, and then all yesterday afternoon I got mainly video messages from him that were HUGE! Does he save them all up and send them out at once? Was he possibly going thru his collection and sending me all the ones he thought I would like? Doesn't he know I'm at work and cant even WATCH half the fucking videos that are passed around??? Sorry to rant on you hun, I just needed to vent. I was expecting emails from suppliers and all sorts of other work related shit this morning and instead I open up my box and find 5 messages where I usually have over 30. Just an example of what an inconsiderate asshole Travis can be. Thoughtless, just like most men. (I said most. I know that there are a few of you guys out there that actually are considerate, thoughtful, and have more brains than God gave a door knob. But to be honest, you are kind of a rarity)

Next, I get paid today, right? I'm supposed to have direct deposit. I have HAD direct deposit since I started here, 4 flippin years ago. Well, since we lost our payroll clerk, we started outsourcing our paychecks. So this morning instead of a pay stub and a full bank account, I have a check made out to a different name than what is on my account and 68 bucks in the bank. Gr. My boss says the names shouldn't be a problem. I hope the fuck not. Even if it isnt a problem, I still have to spend MY lunch hour at the bank. If it IS a problem, I'll have to grab my damn marriage certificate from the house tonight, then tell my boss that due to the outsourcing company's fuck up I need the afternoon off tomorrow to do a name change at the bank. Otherwise the check they just gave me today is totally fucking useless and I just worked last week for FREE.

I tried!!! I tried to start off my day good. Its not even 9 am yet and today already sucks. Sucks, and what really sucks out loud is all of it, ALL of the shitty ass things so far are beyond my control and were put into motion before I even crawled out of bed today. No matter how hard I try to stay positive, sometimes I feel like I'm constantly the bug and never the windshield.

I hope your day is going good so far slutty hoe. Are you still walking on cloud 9? :o) I cant even begin to explain how totally and completely happy I am for you, baby. I knew you would find a good man & that there was one out there that would be perfect for you. I think this one might be it. He is the whole deal. Funny, friendly, a gentleman, handsome, good person, good daddy, all rolled into one 6-packed, buffed out package. (No discussions about his actual "package"...the guy is already like a brother to me LOL)

And you, Miss Hobbit? I hope everything is groovy in your neck of the office. :o) How are my Nephew and Neice doing? You know, I tried to steal your idea of a naked nap, but the hubby was too busy doing stuff outside, so I took one by myself. I don't think its nearly as fun as it would be to have someone else with you, but I did get the bed all to myself. That was a treat all in its own.

Sorry to rant to you guys. I really wanted to have a good day today. I still might. They haven't broken me down yet. But dammit. Its not starting off that good and I'm so totally scared that its only going to get worse and then I'll end up in tears. Ah well, you know what? Fuck it. The worse thing that could happen to me here at work is that I get fired. In which case I would laugh in their fucking faces, go home, and do some Yeager shots.

Discussion.....

Okay, I'll give you a question, you discuss it:
If curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought him back, does that mean if your cat dies you can feed him a snickers and he will come back to life?
Also, who is this curiosity person and why is he going around killing cats?! That Bastard!

Getting to know you....getting to know all about yooouuuuu.....

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
On my way to Burger King for Lunch

2. Who will be your next kiss?
Probably the hubby

3. What is the largest amount of money you spent in one store?
Hm. I think about $500.00 when I bought my waterbed..oh..15 years ago

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, Eyeore's ears are pink. (He is sitting on top of my computer moniter)

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Um..a couple of weekends ago.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Unfortunatly, yes. But only for another 4 hours or so

Question 7 Missing In Action...we have sent a search party

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
2 weekends ago, fixing to do it again this weekend too!

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
nope

10 is missing too and presumed dead

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Still sipping on my Dr.Pepper from Lunch

12. What are you wearing right now?
See Picture at the top.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I make Hubby do it

14. Last fast food you ate?
Burger King

15. Where were you last week at this time?
right here at my desk where I am now

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Yep, bought two tank tops last weekend

17. When is the last time you ran?
I cant remember. I hate running

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
NASCAR Talladega Race on Monday

19. What is your favorite class?
Um...Upper Middle? Oh wait, you mean school, ok, Sciences

20. Your dream vacation?
Tropical Island with indoor plumbing and great company

21. Last persons house you were in?
Mine

22. How old are your parents?
47 & 45

23. Are you in love?
yes

24. Do u miss anyone?
more than anything

25. Last play you saw?
Phantom of the Opera last summer

26 is also MIA... that makes 3 dead or missing.(I think the lazy bastard that wrote this quiz just couldnt think of any more questions)

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Laundry, Dishes, sleep in that order

28. Who is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?
Jamie

4th number struck dead, this is almost an epidemic

30. Ever go to camp?
Camp, no, CampING, yes

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
In elementary school, but I think they only do that to build self esteem

32. What do you want to know about the future?
EVERYTHING! I hate Surprises!

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Put on Ciera this morning, but its probably worn off by now

34. Are you hungry?
Nope, just had me a Whopper Jr.

35. Where is your best friend located?
In Farmington

36. Who is your best friend?
Mandi and Audra, Cristy is quickly becoming another one!

37. Do you have a tan?
Somewhat..I'm not as pasty as I usually am this time of year

38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
Does it matter?

39. Do you collect anything?
Toasters

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Almost this morning, but he didnt want me. Last time was probably a few years ago

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Its better that way

43. How do you like your drinks?
Cold, in a shot glass, then into my belly

44. Do you like hot sauce?
Hell ya!

45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Yep. Gotta have clothes for the road trip this weekend

47. What is your heritage?
mutt-like

48. Are you someones best friend?
I hope so

49. Are you rich?
In friends, very much so. In money, not so much, but I would rather be rch in friends than money anyways, so it works out nice

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
Got it From Barb, and I freaking love her! One of the best things that has happened to my good friend Pat

The Saga of Princess Maria...

I wrote this for Maria when she was having a bad day and it cheered her up, so I thought in lieu of a "real" post today I would just share "The Continuing Saga of Princess Maria"...enjoy!

Once upon a time there was a sweet princess named Maria. She was beautiful, smart, and funny, but she had no prince in her life, so she was sad. To help her feel better her maids-a-waiting, Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni decided to hold a prince dance. That way Princess Maria could have her pick of all the available Princes.

The night of the dance came and all the handsome princes (and even a few of the fugly ones that weren't invited, but decided to crash the dance anyways) began arriving. Princess Maria watched them arrive from her tower window, so far not spotting any one that caught her eye. When she thought the last coach arrived, she turned to go down stairs and meet her guests, but she heard the sound of tires squealing. She ran back to the window in time to see a Bright Red Dodge Viper come skidding sideways into the drive way. Princess Maria was mesmerized by the car. Her eyes widened when she saw the handsome Prince that got out of the Viper. Sure, he looked a little like Linus from the Peanuts gang, but he was the most gorgeous man Princess Maria had ever laid eyes on. (At that moment, her eyes were not the only things she wanted to "lay" on him, but we will get back to that)

Rushing down stairs to introduce herself to the handsome prince in the Viper, Princess Maria tripped on the hem of her very expensive and oversized gown and went tumbling down the stairs! Oh NO! Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni rush to her side to make sure she was okay. Luckily the massive amount of dress Princess Maria was wearing worked like an air bag and cushioned her terrible fall down the stairs. Princess Maria, being awfully embarrassed at falling, ordered everyone's heads to be cut off so that no one would ever tell of the embarrassment she just had to suffer. Everyone except for Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni, since they were already sworn to secrecy for other "Indiscretions". Right then the Handsome Prince, who looked like Linus and drove a Viper, walked thru the door. Since all the other princes had been be-headed, he was the sole prince left at the party. He bowed low in front of Princess Maria.

"My dear lady, what a nice collection of severed heads you have" he coo'd at her.

"Why, thank you handsome prince. You should see my bathroom" she said in her most sultry voice. "What is your name, hotpants?"

"I am Prince Justin, of the Farmington Clan. I have traveled many miles at top speeds to attend your dance and to win your heart" he said.

"Please to meet you, Prince Justin of the Farmington Clan. Is that a lyre in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Princess Maria giggled.

"I'm just happy to see you" Prince Justin replied.

By this time Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni have thouroughly checked out the Viper and decide that this is the Prince for their beloved Princess. They quickly call up the royal minister before either the princess or the prince have a chance to change their minds, or figure out what's going on, and get him to come to the castle right away. Changing of minds does not seem to be a problem since Princess Maria and Prince Justin have already started going at it like they are recently released prison rabbits in heat. Before there is anything more than heavy breathing or heavy panting, the minister marries the two royals, who then collapse on the floor in a mess of clothes, flesh, sloppy kissing noises, and for some reason tic tacs. Who knows with royals. Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni are happy their princess is happy and getting some again, which means considerable less be-headings around the palace. Totally disgusted, the minister leaves the princess and prince on the floor to continue their debauchery. Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni go to the local pub and wait for the screams of pleasure signaling the princess is about done for the night, before returning to clean up the sticky mess left behind by the two royals. Prince Justin and Princess Maria continued their long, happy relationship until Princess Maria discovered naughty toys and Prince Justin discovered that comfort comes in a little blue blankie.
The moral of the story?? Dont let Anj tell stories when its almost the end of the day and she is bored.

**By the way, I promised Slutty Ho I would write a story about her too, so be sure to tune back in!!Clickity Click Click Poo!!**

1:22 and All is Not Well

This job really pisses me off sometimes. I have located a problem with one of our "employee's" that has begun to trickle down into my other job duties. I have notified my superiors of the problem and what I think needs to be done to fix it, but I was told that there probably isn't anything they can do because the person has done this sort of thing for years now and she is old. Okay. Just because someone has done something for years doesn't make it right. Hell, back in the old west days, people drank opium like it was water, and everyone knows now that was wrong. There are probably a ton of other examples of this sort of thing, but with it being Friday afternoon, after a week from hell, I cant think of any more. A quote from Terry Pratchett seems appropriate though. "A Million dead people cant be wrong" It does not make sense to me to keep doing things the wrong way, especially when we have located the source of the problem and have the ability to correct it, just because that's the way things have always been done. The world changes. People change. Policies change, or at least they should. As for being old, well, I don't see what that has to do with anything. Besides age discrimination. I don't care if this person is old, young, cute, ugly, skinny, fat, tree hugger or anti-Christ. The fact of the matter is she is causing problems. Big problems that don't even need to occur. Now that we are loosing two of our current employees, taking care of this problem old lady is now my responsibility. Right now, its looking like I am going to have to babysit this "old" woman and cater to her every whim. GGGGRRRRRRRR. For those who know me in every day life, know that I am way too busy to play nurse maid to an old woman. If I was a big wig in this company I would tell her right off that things are going to change, and if she has a problem with it, then she can find another job. I'm sure the company would survive with out her. In fact I would be willing to bet my wages that it would thrive with out her. But, alas, I'm only a grunt and with out the backing of my bosses, I am nothing more than a bitchy employee. Even though I am right and everyone knows and agrees with me. Why, oh why must we hold the hand and baby this woman?! I truly do not understand.
Add this to all the other little fires I had to put out this week because some one else fucked up. Sometimes it really blows having a good work ethic. I know it doesn't seem like I do, especially since I do most of my blogging during working hours. I tell you what, though. I get my work done. I get it done correctly the first time. If I make a mistake I am the first one to stand up and say "Oh Shit, that was me. How can I fix it?" I wish this company had more people like that in our employment.
I love my job, most days, I really do. But if they will not back me on this problem and allow this woman to get away with the things she is doing, I am going to seriously start looking for another place to work. I can not work for a company that tells me I'm right and have a valid point, but will not back me up because they are afraid of an old woman. (Or young woman or man or whatever) If they wont support me on this, how can I trust them to support me in the future? How do I know that they wont end up throwing me to the sharks at some point? My bosses don't even know what it is I actually DO here! And I'm the only one in the entire company, either here or in LA that does it!
I'm beginning to think that I deserve more than cost of living raise when it comes time again. I figure I'll give them a choice. You want me to work like this, fine, but I want money to match the stress and work load. If not, then you have two weeks to find someone to replace me and I'll train them as much as possible for those two weeks. After that, they will be on their own, up the shit creek, with nothing but their hands for paddles. Suckers.

Lobster Legs

Oh. My. God. I am so freaking burnt. If I could locate the USB cord for my digital, I would have taken a picture of my legs and shoulders and posted them on here today. Sheesh I got totally fried yesterday! I even had to stop off at the store on my way home to get some of that Aloe Vera Snot to lube up my toasted body parts! The lady who rang me up told me (in a very sweet, motherly tone) that I needed to get my butt home and put that stuff on right away! Seriously, I cant even cross my legs, they hurt so bad! Oh well, the first burn of the summer is always the worst and at least I got it over with already. You know, some people are not as fortunate as Slutty Hoe when it comes to sun bathing. I swear, she probably has a beautiful golden tan this morning, while I'm walking around looking like I should be a spokesman for Red Lobster. LOL Ah, I'm just jealous.
Man, I had a great weekend. The highlight of it being hanging out with Miss Hobbit, Munchiebear, and Slutty Hoe at the 'rents house yesterday. (This is where and when the burning took place, but I wouldn't take it back!) It was so much fun just chillin on the back porch, playing with Munchiebear, and talking. I miss hanging out with Slutty Hoe and Miss Hobbit. I love you two so much and I always enjoy the time I get to spend with you. Next time, I totally need some sunblock though...
I may write more later today, I don't know yet. I just wanted to whine about my burn, and give a shout out to two of my favorite women in all of the world. I'm hella busy at work today, it being the last week of the month, but I want to keep my readers happy, so I am going to try to post more.

One thought for today, before I go....something that has been rolling around in my brain since last night, while laying in bed, my legs and shoulders on fire...


I wonder if my burn is not, in some small way, a taste of the hell fire that my soul will eventually be plunged into...

Kind of deep, but being the sinner I am, I cant help but think that sometimes. More on that later. I think I need to explain my religious stand point sometime..

Cause Under Water, The Fish don't Stink

Well, I got a request to update this here blog, so here it is. I'm sorry I have neglected you yet again. Sometimes I don't understand why you love me so much.
Friday afternoon here in Alberwossit, about an hour and 15 minutes until I can leave my peaceful little cubie and battle it out on the freeway. Oh, I see some crazy shit on there all the time, but I'm not going to turn this into a traffic blog. In fact, I don't think this blog even has a theme, unless you count whining as one. Ha. I try not to even whine too much on here either. Basically, what I want to do, my goal if you will, is entertain you. Make you, my lovely readers, smile, laugh and possibly invoke thought. I have to admit, though, that I am too chicken shit to write what I'm actually feeling most of the time. I use traffic posts and posts bitching about other people as a shield to hide what's really going on in my life. To be honest, I don't know if I have the cajones to actually write what I feel inside. Why am I so afraid? Its not like I don't have a right to feel the things I do. Its not that I think my thoughts and feelings don't matter. I think what makes me so afraid to really bare my soul to you is that, finally, I would have to take a good look at my life, and I'm not sure I would like what I saw. Its scary facing your fears. Its even scarier knowing that anyone can come along and read this and know them too. Of course, only my closest friends and the few random people who stumble in know about this blog. The random people probably don't hang around too long, but I know that certain readers of mine check every day to see if I have updated. To those people, I apologize. You deserve a better blogger than I. Someone who can be honest with you with out hiding behind some bullshit.
Maybe one of these days I'll grow some big hairy ones and I'll lay everything out on the line. Maybe I'll keep being the polly-ana doormat I am now for the rest of my life. Never standing up for myself. Never saying shit if I had a mouthful. Ha. Yeah right. I may not spill my guts on here or to anyone, but I'm no meek little woman.

I could never get the Hang of Thursdays

***I wrote this last Thursday and had it saved in my drafts, so in lieu of a Phriday Phunny post I give you "Proof that Anj is a nerd". Enjoy***

Arthur Dent had it right when he said that. Why are Thursdays so hard? Even Slutty Hoe is having a hard time today. Well to be honest, both of us have had our motivation meters bouncing on zero for most of the week.......oh...wait....did you see that?!........my motivation meter stopped bouncing! That's right. The current, official motivation meter reading for Anj is at zero. Stick a fork in me, people, I'm done! I'm not interested in doing any more work today. I really don't want to go grocery shopping, and be warned Slutty Hoe I will probably call you while I'm getting it done. You know how I hate shopping alone and if I cant have you here physically then I will have you here thru technology.

Maybe Thursdays suck so hard because its so temptingly close to Friday and the weekend but not close enough. The smell of freedom is in the air, but its still two whole days away. (If you count Thursday all day and then Friday all day. I do, because I'm weird like that. Its not the weekend to me until I clock out of work and get into the parking lot.)

Maybe Thursdays don't suck at all, and its just me, Slutty Hoe and Mr. Dent who have problems with it. I say me, S.H., and Art Dent just go and sit in a bar or pub or some place that serves Tequila Shots, every Thursday, all day long. My reasoning behind this is that if we are in a drunken stupor for all of Thursday, then it wouldn't matter how bad it sucked. We would all be floating in our alcoholic haze, not notice anything. Arthur can talk about the girl that got away, Slutty Hoe and I could smile, nod and think about how we could undress him with out taking off that sexy bath robe. (the robe is sexy because of all the Tequila Shots)

It just dawned on me that a lot of you might not "get" my post today because its referencing Hitchhikers Guide. Terribly sorry about that. Mr. Dent and I were on the same page today and I felt incredibly akin to him. Go read the book if you don't know what I'm talking about. Its awesome! Its funny! Its better than the movie! (Although the movie has its good parts) Yeah, I am a nerd. At least I knew I was long before today, so this isn't a total shock to me. Slutty hoe has been calling me a nerd for my love of Star Wars for years. *shock* Now, what's wrong with a little Jedi, Light Saber fighting action?! I mean Obiwan is HOT! Luke would be HOT if he would keep his whiney mouth shut. Even Princess Leia's is hot in that outfit she wears in Return of the Jedi. Wish I could find one of those gold bikini outfits. I would wear it all the time. To the store, around the house, out on my Ubrikkian luxury sail barge...
Please forgive spelling errors, its not like George Lucas designed the spell checker

Adventures in commuting

I was traveling on the freeway the other day and I was noticing all the stupid, fucked up things people do driving 60 mph or more in heavy traffic.
Example numero uno:
There was this mini-van weaving in and out of lanes, not really gaining any places in line. He would jump over to the right lane and act like he was going to pass someone, then he would just sit there. (I'm using "he" as a generic term, these ass hats could very well be women) Then he would jump back over to the left lane again and ride the bumper of the dude in front of him. I witnessed him do this about 5 or 6 times before he finally got ahead of the guy he had been trying to pass for roughly 10 miles. Then what did he do when he got his spot? Oh, nothing. He started blocking traffic. The guy was in a big 'ole hurry to go no where. He didn't pass anyone after that. He didn't even really seem concerned with doing the speed limit anymore. He just wanted in front of the guy in front of him. Huh.
Example number B:
This morning there was a big pick up truck riding my ass all the way to work. Traffic is bumper to bumper, no one is moving any faster than the dumbass blocking the lane 20 cars up. (different person, not the mini-van previously mentioned) The truck behind me could very well see this. (I could and my truck is littler than his) The two right lanes next to us are bumper to bumper as well. No one is going anywhere. In situations like this I dig deep into my patience bucket and chill. Good tunes, a cup of coffee, life is good. I could see this guy getting pissed and more pissed though. Like I was the only other person on the freeway this morning and purposely got in his way. What the hell made that guy think he could make us go faster by riding my ass? Hey, buddy, if your going to keep doing that, at least use some lube next time. KY warming is preferred. I chafe something awful when you ride my ass like that and don't lube me first.
These are just a few examples of the wonderful adventure I have every day driving to and from work. I used to wonder if people knew what they were doing and didn't care, or if they have personal problems that caused them to be aggressive drivers. Now, I think that people are either a) lost in their own little world, totally oblivious to everything going on around them. (Older people, teenagers and soccer mom's)
or b) Know what they are doing is wrong, but have no concern for their lives, or the other lives on the road around them. (My hubby)
Its weird, but every time I turn the key in my truck (okay not every time, but damn near) I think about what I'm doing. I think about the consequences of my actions on the road and possibly the consequences of my reactions on the road. When I put enough thought into it, I realized that I am putting my life in the hands of thousands of complete strangers, most of whom should not be breeding, little lone operating a heavy vehicle. But yet, I get in that truck every morning and battle it out on the freeway. Maybe I like the adventure. Maybe that's my little way of living on the edge. Maybe I'm just as crazy as the ass hats I see every day. Hm. That's something to think about.

Alrighty, I am going to be in Farmington for the next few days. Another wedding. Although I am looking forward to this one more than I ever did my own. LOL I'll hopefully have some good stories to share upon my return. I plan on hanging with Slutty hoe and Miss Hobbitt, so you just KNOW adventure is around the corner when we three get together.

Until then, everyone have a great weekend!

Dedicated To The Ones I Love...

On this day, in 1979, my parents were blessed with a screaming, wiggling bundle of trouble. Yours truly.
Usually birthdays for me are not a big deal. They come and go with the usual wonderful calls and messages from the people, who, for some reason or another, love me. Sometimes I go out for drinks with friends, or pass the evening quietly at home. I'm not much of a center of attention type of person. In fact, I started out this day not happy. I have not been looking forward to it this year, for some reason I have not figured out yet. To top it all off, I had a weird/scary dream last night about automobiles being launched thru the air by some evil force. It woke me up at about 3 am and I could not get comfy enough to get back to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning I was not ready to face the world. But, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, got dressed, put on my new necklace I got from ma and pa, picked up some Crispy Creams™, and still managed to make it into work on time. When I got in I had an email waiting for me from my friend Miss Whiplash telling me to check the unseen board. She had posted a Happy Birthday Thread just for me! I was surprised and overwhelmed that I meant enough to her for her to do that.(I also have a thread on the stamps forum! Started off with a really sweet poem from DS) I had wanted to pass the day un-noticed, not making a big deal out of it. In fact if I had my choice I would have remained in bed this morning with the covers over my head. But I realize now that my b-day (or anyone's b-day)isn't just about me (or that person). Its a reason for your friends and family to celebrate the life of someone they care for. I understand and dig that for other people. I just have a hard time believing that I am important enough to warrantt such attention. I know, I know. Chalk it up to low self esteem.
I can honestly say I have a lot of great friends. I am very lucky and very blessed in that area of my life. I do the best I can to be a good person, but I know the mistakes and the bad things I have done. I guess that's what I see the most in myself. Bad things. It makes it hard to feel worthy of such affection and attention. I know I'm not bad in the serial-killer, puppy-kicker kind of way, but I'm no goodie-two shoes either. If thoughts alone could send you to hell, my handbasket would be huge and covered in glitter.
I have teared up a couple of times at all the sweet things people have done for me today. A co-worker even put a little candle in my doughnut and sung to me. I feel so loved. I'm glad now that I didn't hide all day, wallowing in my own self pity. I have been reminded that although I am not perfect, there are people crazy enough to love me for who I am, good and bad. (me, not them)
I already feel 100% better because of all of you who have wished me a happy birthday today. I don't know how I could managed with out you all. I do know that my life would be considerably less rich with out you lot in it.

So to all my friends and family:
I love you all so much. Thank you so much from the very heart of my heart. You all mean the world to me. Never before have I been reminded of this more than today. A day when I was feeling at my lowest, you have lifted me up. My cup truly over floweth...

Going Postal In LA-*Reader discretion is advised*

You know, I am generally an easy going, laid back type of girl. I have learned that life is too short to get all bent out of shape over things that are beyond my control. I don't even let little things bother me. I'm not usually quick to get angry either. However, the people who work in our LA office have done pushed me over the edge today. They are some of the most whiney, lazy, good for nothing but collecting a paycheck, bunch of bitches, the lot of them. They refuse to look in the same fucking computer program I have, all connected to a server that has all the data of everyone's system on it before calling me and crying because they cant find something. Open your fucking eyes. One little thing is different and they freak out like ants who have lost the trail back to the mound. They can not think for themselves. They have to have someone hold their hands thru every step of their day. Even though I have only worked here 4 years and most of the dumbasses out there have been here at least 10, they still insist on bothering me for information they could otherwise look up themselves. Another problem with them is their ability to not see the problems right in front of them, but instead point fingers immediately out here.

What the fuck is up with people like that?! I mean I would have been embarrassed as hell to tell my boss the reason why I don't do something is because its too hard to scroll to the right. OMFG. I swear on all that is holy, if I go postal its going to be these peoples fault. And you know what? I'm not going postal here in NM. Oh no. I am going to do the entire world a favor, drive out to LA and take out all of the people in that office, with the exception of a person or two who I like out there. Those people will get fair warning to call in sick that day.

I wouldn't really go on a killing spree, no matter how much LA has pissed me off. I think what pleases me most about that whole going postal idea is the fact that I wouldn't be bothered by them again and could get on with doing my job. What I would really like to do is put all those people on that island from LOST and see if I couldn't convince the polar bear to eat them. You know how much I love animals, so that seems like a perfect rout for me. "Save a polar bear-feed them people from my LA office!"

I just get frustrated through out the day at these people. How am I supposed to be a productive employee if I'm constantly holding LA's hand and walking them thru simple bullshit?! Why is it that my bosses here appear to encourage and allow them to get away with this kind of behavior? I mean, do we employ 5 year olds out there?! FUCK!

03/27/06: I wrote this post on Friday, when I was feeling really pissed at LA. But over the weekend, while I had time to think more calmly, I had an epiphany. I don't have to hold their hands. I don't have to baby them. I can stand up for myself and tell them NO. (Yeah, I can hear the big huge DUH coming from all you. Hey, I am a people pleaser, but I am getting better about standing up for myself and not being such a doormat) I have already told them NO twice today! (And it felt GOOD!) I checked with my manager first to make sure the things I wanted to tell LA were correct, and gave them a strong, resounding no. It was received pretty well out there. I haven't had any whiney calls...........yet. Its still early though. I think the main thing is they are always trying to see how much they could get away with. How much they can have me do for them, before I finally say that's enough. Well, you punk bitches out there, stick a fork in me, because I'm DONE. No job is worth the stress I have had lately. No job is worth having to put up with lazy m-f'ers like you. I'm done fucking around with you guys. From now on, if its my job, it will be done, if its not, then fuck off. I'm not your slave. I'm not the person you get to come to when you need something done asap anymore. Get off your lazy bitch asses and start earning your paychecks, bonus's and commission. Which by the way, we only get our paychecks here. No bonus, no commission. We do get lunch once a month, but I think they are getting off CHEAP by buying lunch for 10 people, versus actually having to pay us what we are actully worth.But I realize that they dont have to shit for us, so I keep my bitching limited to the blog. And it feels so good

Snow (not the white Canadian rapper)

It snowed here today! Okay, for anyone reading this that is located in the East, I live in the desert. Snow is a rare item here, so when it does fall, it is reason for much celebration.
*Doing happy dance around truck, paying homage to the snow gods*



There are a few bummer things about the snow today:
1. It didn't snow enough to warrant getting a day off from work. bleh.
2. It will all be melted away by time I get out of work
3. People drive INSANE when it snows, even if there is just a little on the ground.
4. Not enough to make a snowman. Not even a small, perverted, anatomically correct one. Doesn't that make you want to cry?


One more thing. I was talking with a friend of mine online yesterday and she has had some bad experiences with people judging her by they way she looks, which has caused her to be insecure about meeting new people. This pisses me off. I have not known this woman very long, but I can already tell she and I are kindred spirits. (Thanks, Ann of Green Gables, for giving me a phrase that accurately describes my purely platonic relationship with several of my most favorite people) She is funny, perverted, sweet, intelligent and an all around good person. Why the fuck someone would stop being friends with her based solely on how she looks is totally beyond my comprehension. How someone could live their life that way also blows my tiny, sick and twisted little mind. I feel bad for people who judge others like that. They have no idea of all the neat people they are missing out on because of thier own small-mindedness. Fuckers..

I have learned that the people who are your real friends don't care about what you look like on the outside. They love you for who you are on the inside and always will. That's the way I try to live my life always. I'm not perfect, so I don't feel justified in demanding perfection from others. I love all my friends for who they are, regardless of size, race, gender, sexual orientation, or haircut.

So, to the people who were mean to my new friend "Fuck Off, Bitches" And that comes from the heart...

This Post Has No Title!

I have been wanting to write a post now for a while, but not had the time, energy or creative juices to git r' done. Today, though, I have that feeling that I need to write something. I cheated you all out of a post last time, by putting up my Which DW Character Are You quiz. So to make it up to you, today, I am going to post something worth reading. I have no idea what, even as I sit here and type this sentence. But something. I feel I owe it to you, my faithful and completely insane readers.

Oh! I do want to give a shout out (if that's not too ghetto) to my sis's cell mate Miss H. I very rarely use real names in here Miss H, and since I don't know you well enough to give you a clever nick name, I will refer to you as Miss H until such time that I can come up with something cool for you. I will also take suggestions from Slutty Ho, since she knows you better than I. (ohh, "better than I". What a grammatically correct sentence. Holy crap, Batman!)

Lets see, what is going on in my life that is interesting? Well, I joined a different DW forum called The Unseen Messageboard. I am really digging the people I met on there so far. All around nice, friendly people. What is really cool is that they understand my frustration with other "people" online. I use the term "people" loosely, especially when referring to a certain "person" who has had mention before in this here bloggy. The reason for the loosely termed is that I don't think "people" with attitudes like hers should be considered fully functioning members of society. They are an emotional drain on other people, they cause nothing but hate, discontent and hard feelings, and they thrive on creating trouble for normal, everyday folks like myself. "People" like her should instead be labeled something like:
"waste of skin",
"poster child for sterilization"(with a caption that reads,"don't let this happen to you",
or comes with a sign that says
"Beware, psychopath ahead. Subject to extreme changes in mood, overwhelming bossiness, and a strong smell of dead fish".
I'm still holding out hope for Mafia style revenge on her. Maybe put a horse head in her bed or something. Actually for her, I would be better off getting a Huge Bovine head. That would strike fear in her heart!

I'm still happy about March being here. Things are starting to bloom again and I love it. The world doesn't feel so dead to me. The only thing is I am having a hellova time wrapping my mind around my birthday this year. I want to cry whenever I think about it and its never bothered me like this before. I'm too freaking young to feel old! What the hell am I going to do when I turn 30? Or 40?! It just sucks left and right monkey nuts...

Hopefully I'll have news about the London trip soon. Might have some other news too, but its too big to tell now. I don't want to Jinx it. (tee hee. I'm such a tease)

Finally a character that understands my Bad hair days

Sergeant Delphine Angua von Uberwald


Got me pegged, except the vegetarian part.
I like my meat.


Discworld: Which Ankh-Morpork City Watch Character are YOU?
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March!! Oh Happy Day!

Welcome March!! I love you, with your blustery beginings and your spring like end. I love that your bring the birds back to sing for me in the morning. I love how you bring warmth to help the honeysuckle in my yard grow and put out its intoxicating perfume.
Only day two of your wonderful reign and already I am shivering with anticipation of the sunny days to come. No more hiding in two or three layers of clothing. No more horrible socks and tie (or zip) up shoes! No more need to have three blankets on the bed! Oh sweet freedom!!
Best of all, no more dark, depressing house! The window coverings can come down and once again my life will be filled with Light! Oh glorious light, who I so love to lay in while I take a nap, who warms me when the the cold breath of the air conditioner blows too hard.
Oh, March, you and I were made for each other. I only wish it could be March all year long.

COFFEE, coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee

Have I mentioned how much I love coffee?! I LOVE IT! I love the smell of coffee. I love the taste. I love the cracked out effect it has on my little 115 lb body. I love the word coffee. It just sounds so harmonious to my ears. It holds promises of late nights and spontaneous cleaning frenzies. Its also the Life blood of my mornings. Breakfast of Champions. Its gotta be thick. Its gotta be black. Its gotta be able to stand a spoon strait up and down in the center of the cup. Not too hot though. I don't like to burn my tongue. Room temp to cold is about perfect. I don't mind a few grounds floating around in there, either. That just adds to the flavor. I don't even mind drinking what's left in the bottom of the pot after its been sitting all day. YUMM.
Last night I had a hankering for some coffee after work. I generally try not drink any after noon, just because the crash from sustaining a caffeine buzz like that all day is too much for me to bear. One minute I'm scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, the next I am passed out like a drunk cheerleader at a frat party. So last night, about half way thru my reheated cup-o-black tar from the bottom of the pot, I start feeling the effects. My legs start tapping up and down to music I must have only been able to hear on a subconscious level. It had to have been some kick ass Megadeath or something, at the rate my legs were going. I kept standing up, feeling like I should have been doing something, then sitting down again, when I realized there was nothing I wanted to do. My hands were shaking, my mind was racing, and I swear even my eyeballs felt twitchy. Its okay to feel like that for a bit, but after a little while, it begins to wear me out. No one can sustain those high levels of energy for long. I figured out a solution, though. Now granted, this solution would not work at the office or anywhere else that would require driving at a later point. Its simple. Yeager. That's right. Yeagermeister. The evil, dark brown, NyQuill tasting, comes in a green death bottle, Yeager. (Cold of course) Yeager for me is a big downer. I do a couple of shots and instead of feeling slutty, I get lazy. Put enough shots in me and all I want to do is go to bed. Touch me, molest me if you must, but don't wake me up, even after its over. Honestly, I don't want to know what was done with my unconscious body. I mean, what if I like it and want it more?! Then your going to know just what a freaky bitch I really am. Its best just to play innocent. :o) So, to the counter the effects of a late evening coffee binge, do a couple of Yeager shots. The energy from the coffee was still pulsing thru me, but the Yeager got rid of the feeling of needing to be productive. It allowed me to calm down enough to stop my leg from bouncing up and down like crazy, and to play a little Need For Speed: Underground 2. When I mean I played "a little" it really amounts to about 3 hours of quality xbox time. Who plays "a little" xbox?!?
The Yeager seemed to get along with the coffee in my system really well. I had no hangover type feelings today, and none of that out of control drunk Yeager buzz either. The two came together in my blood stream and flowed harmoniously to my brain, neither of them fighting for control, just chilling, making me feel all warm, fuzzy and slightly tinglely.
MMM coffee and Yeager.. Life is Good.