Dedicated To The Ones I Love...

On this day, in 1979, my parents were blessed with a screaming, wiggling bundle of trouble. Yours truly.
Usually birthdays for me are not a big deal. They come and go with the usual wonderful calls and messages from the people, who, for some reason or another, love me. Sometimes I go out for drinks with friends, or pass the evening quietly at home. I'm not much of a center of attention type of person. In fact, I started out this day not happy. I have not been looking forward to it this year, for some reason I have not figured out yet. To top it all off, I had a weird/scary dream last night about automobiles being launched thru the air by some evil force. It woke me up at about 3 am and I could not get comfy enough to get back to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning I was not ready to face the world. But, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, got dressed, put on my new necklace I got from ma and pa, picked up some Crispy Creams™, and still managed to make it into work on time. When I got in I had an email waiting for me from my friend Miss Whiplash telling me to check the unseen board. She had posted a Happy Birthday Thread just for me! I was surprised and overwhelmed that I meant enough to her for her to do that.(I also have a thread on the stamps forum! Started off with a really sweet poem from DS) I had wanted to pass the day un-noticed, not making a big deal out of it. In fact if I had my choice I would have remained in bed this morning with the covers over my head. But I realize now that my b-day (or anyone's b-day)isn't just about me (or that person). Its a reason for your friends and family to celebrate the life of someone they care for. I understand and dig that for other people. I just have a hard time believing that I am important enough to warrantt such attention. I know, I know. Chalk it up to low self esteem.
I can honestly say I have a lot of great friends. I am very lucky and very blessed in that area of my life. I do the best I can to be a good person, but I know the mistakes and the bad things I have done. I guess that's what I see the most in myself. Bad things. It makes it hard to feel worthy of such affection and attention. I know I'm not bad in the serial-killer, puppy-kicker kind of way, but I'm no goodie-two shoes either. If thoughts alone could send you to hell, my handbasket would be huge and covered in glitter.
I have teared up a couple of times at all the sweet things people have done for me today. A co-worker even put a little candle in my doughnut and sung to me. I feel so loved. I'm glad now that I didn't hide all day, wallowing in my own self pity. I have been reminded that although I am not perfect, there are people crazy enough to love me for who I am, good and bad. (me, not them)
I already feel 100% better because of all of you who have wished me a happy birthday today. I don't know how I could managed with out you all. I do know that my life would be considerably less rich with out you lot in it.

So to all my friends and family:
I love you all so much. Thank you so much from the very heart of my heart. You all mean the world to me. Never before have I been reminded of this more than today. A day when I was feeling at my lowest, you have lifted me up. My cup truly over floweth...