Dedicated To The Ones I Love...

On this day, in 1979, my parents were blessed with a screaming, wiggling bundle of trouble. Yours truly.
Usually birthdays for me are not a big deal. They come and go with the usual wonderful calls and messages from the people, who, for some reason or another, love me. Sometimes I go out for drinks with friends, or pass the evening quietly at home. I'm not much of a center of attention type of person. In fact, I started out this day not happy. I have not been looking forward to it this year, for some reason I have not figured out yet. To top it all off, I had a weird/scary dream last night about automobiles being launched thru the air by some evil force. It woke me up at about 3 am and I could not get comfy enough to get back to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning I was not ready to face the world. But, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, got dressed, put on my new necklace I got from ma and pa, picked up some Crispy Creams™, and still managed to make it into work on time. When I got in I had an email waiting for me from my friend Miss Whiplash telling me to check the unseen board. She had posted a Happy Birthday Thread just for me! I was surprised and overwhelmed that I meant enough to her for her to do that.(I also have a thread on the stamps forum! Started off with a really sweet poem from DS) I had wanted to pass the day un-noticed, not making a big deal out of it. In fact if I had my choice I would have remained in bed this morning with the covers over my head. But I realize now that my b-day (or anyone's b-day)isn't just about me (or that person). Its a reason for your friends and family to celebrate the life of someone they care for. I understand and dig that for other people. I just have a hard time believing that I am important enough to warrantt such attention. I know, I know. Chalk it up to low self esteem.
I can honestly say I have a lot of great friends. I am very lucky and very blessed in that area of my life. I do the best I can to be a good person, but I know the mistakes and the bad things I have done. I guess that's what I see the most in myself. Bad things. It makes it hard to feel worthy of such affection and attention. I know I'm not bad in the serial-killer, puppy-kicker kind of way, but I'm no goodie-two shoes either. If thoughts alone could send you to hell, my handbasket would be huge and covered in glitter.
I have teared up a couple of times at all the sweet things people have done for me today. A co-worker even put a little candle in my doughnut and sung to me. I feel so loved. I'm glad now that I didn't hide all day, wallowing in my own self pity. I have been reminded that although I am not perfect, there are people crazy enough to love me for who I am, good and bad. (me, not them)
I already feel 100% better because of all of you who have wished me a happy birthday today. I don't know how I could managed with out you all. I do know that my life would be considerably less rich with out you lot in it.

So to all my friends and family:
I love you all so much. Thank you so much from the very heart of my heart. You all mean the world to me. Never before have I been reminded of this more than today. A day when I was feeling at my lowest, you have lifted me up. My cup truly over floweth...

Going Postal In LA-*Reader discretion is advised*

You know, I am generally an easy going, laid back type of girl. I have learned that life is too short to get all bent out of shape over things that are beyond my control. I don't even let little things bother me. I'm not usually quick to get angry either. However, the people who work in our LA office have done pushed me over the edge today. They are some of the most whiney, lazy, good for nothing but collecting a paycheck, bunch of bitches, the lot of them. They refuse to look in the same fucking computer program I have, all connected to a server that has all the data of everyone's system on it before calling me and crying because they cant find something. Open your fucking eyes. One little thing is different and they freak out like ants who have lost the trail back to the mound. They can not think for themselves. They have to have someone hold their hands thru every step of their day. Even though I have only worked here 4 years and most of the dumbasses out there have been here at least 10, they still insist on bothering me for information they could otherwise look up themselves. Another problem with them is their ability to not see the problems right in front of them, but instead point fingers immediately out here.

What the fuck is up with people like that?! I mean I would have been embarrassed as hell to tell my boss the reason why I don't do something is because its too hard to scroll to the right. OMFG. I swear on all that is holy, if I go postal its going to be these peoples fault. And you know what? I'm not going postal here in NM. Oh no. I am going to do the entire world a favor, drive out to LA and take out all of the people in that office, with the exception of a person or two who I like out there. Those people will get fair warning to call in sick that day.

I wouldn't really go on a killing spree, no matter how much LA has pissed me off. I think what pleases me most about that whole going postal idea is the fact that I wouldn't be bothered by them again and could get on with doing my job. What I would really like to do is put all those people on that island from LOST and see if I couldn't convince the polar bear to eat them. You know how much I love animals, so that seems like a perfect rout for me. "Save a polar bear-feed them people from my LA office!"

I just get frustrated through out the day at these people. How am I supposed to be a productive employee if I'm constantly holding LA's hand and walking them thru simple bullshit?! Why is it that my bosses here appear to encourage and allow them to get away with this kind of behavior? I mean, do we employ 5 year olds out there?! FUCK!

03/27/06: I wrote this post on Friday, when I was feeling really pissed at LA. But over the weekend, while I had time to think more calmly, I had an epiphany. I don't have to hold their hands. I don't have to baby them. I can stand up for myself and tell them NO. (Yeah, I can hear the big huge DUH coming from all you. Hey, I am a people pleaser, but I am getting better about standing up for myself and not being such a doormat) I have already told them NO twice today! (And it felt GOOD!) I checked with my manager first to make sure the things I wanted to tell LA were correct, and gave them a strong, resounding no. It was received pretty well out there. I haven't had any whiney calls...........yet. Its still early though. I think the main thing is they are always trying to see how much they could get away with. How much they can have me do for them, before I finally say that's enough. Well, you punk bitches out there, stick a fork in me, because I'm DONE. No job is worth the stress I have had lately. No job is worth having to put up with lazy m-f'ers like you. I'm done fucking around with you guys. From now on, if its my job, it will be done, if its not, then fuck off. I'm not your slave. I'm not the person you get to come to when you need something done asap anymore. Get off your lazy bitch asses and start earning your paychecks, bonus's and commission. Which by the way, we only get our paychecks here. No bonus, no commission. We do get lunch once a month, but I think they are getting off CHEAP by buying lunch for 10 people, versus actually having to pay us what we are actully worth.But I realize that they dont have to shit for us, so I keep my bitching limited to the blog. And it feels so good

Snow (not the white Canadian rapper)

It snowed here today! Okay, for anyone reading this that is located in the East, I live in the desert. Snow is a rare item here, so when it does fall, it is reason for much celebration.
*Doing happy dance around truck, paying homage to the snow gods*



There are a few bummer things about the snow today:
1. It didn't snow enough to warrant getting a day off from work. bleh.
2. It will all be melted away by time I get out of work
3. People drive INSANE when it snows, even if there is just a little on the ground.
4. Not enough to make a snowman. Not even a small, perverted, anatomically correct one. Doesn't that make you want to cry?


One more thing. I was talking with a friend of mine online yesterday and she has had some bad experiences with people judging her by they way she looks, which has caused her to be insecure about meeting new people. This pisses me off. I have not known this woman very long, but I can already tell she and I are kindred spirits. (Thanks, Ann of Green Gables, for giving me a phrase that accurately describes my purely platonic relationship with several of my most favorite people) She is funny, perverted, sweet, intelligent and an all around good person. Why the fuck someone would stop being friends with her based solely on how she looks is totally beyond my comprehension. How someone could live their life that way also blows my tiny, sick and twisted little mind. I feel bad for people who judge others like that. They have no idea of all the neat people they are missing out on because of thier own small-mindedness. Fuckers..

I have learned that the people who are your real friends don't care about what you look like on the outside. They love you for who you are on the inside and always will. That's the way I try to live my life always. I'm not perfect, so I don't feel justified in demanding perfection from others. I love all my friends for who they are, regardless of size, race, gender, sexual orientation, or haircut.

So, to the people who were mean to my new friend "Fuck Off, Bitches" And that comes from the heart...

This Post Has No Title!

I have been wanting to write a post now for a while, but not had the time, energy or creative juices to git r' done. Today, though, I have that feeling that I need to write something. I cheated you all out of a post last time, by putting up my Which DW Character Are You quiz. So to make it up to you, today, I am going to post something worth reading. I have no idea what, even as I sit here and type this sentence. But something. I feel I owe it to you, my faithful and completely insane readers.

Oh! I do want to give a shout out (if that's not too ghetto) to my sis's cell mate Miss H. I very rarely use real names in here Miss H, and since I don't know you well enough to give you a clever nick name, I will refer to you as Miss H until such time that I can come up with something cool for you. I will also take suggestions from Slutty Ho, since she knows you better than I. (ohh, "better than I". What a grammatically correct sentence. Holy crap, Batman!)

Lets see, what is going on in my life that is interesting? Well, I joined a different DW forum called The Unseen Messageboard. I am really digging the people I met on there so far. All around nice, friendly people. What is really cool is that they understand my frustration with other "people" online. I use the term "people" loosely, especially when referring to a certain "person" who has had mention before in this here bloggy. The reason for the loosely termed is that I don't think "people" with attitudes like hers should be considered fully functioning members of society. They are an emotional drain on other people, they cause nothing but hate, discontent and hard feelings, and they thrive on creating trouble for normal, everyday folks like myself. "People" like her should instead be labeled something like:
"waste of skin",
"poster child for sterilization"(with a caption that reads,"don't let this happen to you",
or comes with a sign that says
"Beware, psychopath ahead. Subject to extreme changes in mood, overwhelming bossiness, and a strong smell of dead fish".
I'm still holding out hope for Mafia style revenge on her. Maybe put a horse head in her bed or something. Actually for her, I would be better off getting a Huge Bovine head. That would strike fear in her heart!

I'm still happy about March being here. Things are starting to bloom again and I love it. The world doesn't feel so dead to me. The only thing is I am having a hellova time wrapping my mind around my birthday this year. I want to cry whenever I think about it and its never bothered me like this before. I'm too freaking young to feel old! What the hell am I going to do when I turn 30? Or 40?! It just sucks left and right monkey nuts...

Hopefully I'll have news about the London trip soon. Might have some other news too, but its too big to tell now. I don't want to Jinx it. (tee hee. I'm such a tease)

Finally a character that understands my Bad hair days

Sergeant Delphine Angua von Uberwald


Got me pegged, except the vegetarian part.
I like my meat.


Discworld: Which Ankh-Morpork City Watch Character are YOU?
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March!! Oh Happy Day!

Welcome March!! I love you, with your blustery beginings and your spring like end. I love that your bring the birds back to sing for me in the morning. I love how you bring warmth to help the honeysuckle in my yard grow and put out its intoxicating perfume.
Only day two of your wonderful reign and already I am shivering with anticipation of the sunny days to come. No more hiding in two or three layers of clothing. No more horrible socks and tie (or zip) up shoes! No more need to have three blankets on the bed! Oh sweet freedom!!
Best of all, no more dark, depressing house! The window coverings can come down and once again my life will be filled with Light! Oh glorious light, who I so love to lay in while I take a nap, who warms me when the the cold breath of the air conditioner blows too hard.
Oh, March, you and I were made for each other. I only wish it could be March all year long.