The Sorted Tale of Super Porportions

*Written By: A Colaboration of Twisted Minds (anj, mal, mich and maria)*

When their eyes met across the room, they both knew how the night was going to end. Gargamel had never seen a woman as beautiful as Cinderella. So what if she was covered in pig poo and smelled like last weeks chamber pot. She was gorgeous and, by the look in her eye, ready for some physical lovin. Gargamel stole a glance at his wife, Wonder Woman. He had been so attracted to her in the beginning. She used that Lasso of Truth like an extra appendage of her body and she knew how to rock it dirty. Lately, however, she seemed to spend a lot of time swimming. Gargamel could feel his man juices rising when he glanced back at Cinderella. She made a small motion to follow her when their eyes met again and she slipped out of the room quietly. Gargamel spared another glance at his wife, she was busy chatting it up with Aqua Man, so he followed Cinderella out into the hallway.

With her husband now out of sight, Wonder Woman began her routine of airing their dirty laundry to AquaMan. He had been her closest confidant for ages, almost like a big sister to her, as he’d say. She expressed her longing for someone worthy of her and her lasso quite often it would seem, as she’d belittle her husband nearly every time he’d step out of the room.

“His powers say nothing about him. They aren’t super in the slightest” She rolled her eyes before taking another bite from her hot dog, “ He can’t fly, and he surely can’t make my heart fly anymore”.

Aquaman listened with intent. “Have another drink.” He said as he held up a glass of Ocean water and Gin “and then we shall go for a swim. We can ride on a seahorse if you’d like”.

“No”, she said fed up. “I’d rather ride something else. Come on Aqua, let’s just try it out. To hell with your supposed fish fetish. Tell me you wouldn’t want a night with Wonder Woman”.

She staggered closer toward him holding the lasso, awaiting his brutally honest reply to her idea.

Wonder woman could feel her anticipation and her yearning to touch Aqua man....but she was afraid of his answer....slowly Aqua man walked over to her and gently put his hands on her face.....he leaned in and whispered...for you my friend I would do anything.....he kissed her red lips as if he was hungry....she felt the kiss spark through out her entire body so fierce that her legs gave way...he quickly grabbed her body and embraced her....he had secretly wanted her for a long time but he knew Gargamel would be furious and wouldnt share......

mean while in the hallway......

Gargamel quickly followed Cinderella.....he grabbed her by her shoulder and spun her around....Cinderella looked at him with tears in her eyes.....I am not worthy of your gaze....just look at me....i know Wonder Woman loves and adores you, but i cant help how my heart feels....and i am hideous....as she said her last work Gargamel gently kissed her.....Cinderella pulled back quickly...we cant, you musnt, what if....and she then kissed him back with such passion....she wanted this...she needed this....she had to have him...as she slowly kneeled down.....

. . . . . one thing led to another and before anybody knew what was happening Aqua Man and Wonder Woman were deep in the throws of passion and Cinderella and Gargamel were getting there swerve on too. It was the most amazing moment of passion any of them had ever felt.

A few weeks had passed by. Wonder Woman was at home cookin up some stew when she suddenly realized she was "late". No, not late to work but the dreaded "late" that meant nine months of throwing up and getting fat. She went to the doctors office the next afternoon only to find out her worst fear was true, she was pregnant. Then is occurred to her, the timing was just right, who was the baby daddy????!!?!!?! It could be Aqua Man, it could be her wretched husband Gargamel. She decided the only thing she could do was take Gargamel and Aqua Man onto the Maury Povich show entitled "I cheated on my husband with a member of the Justice League and now I don't know who the father of my possibly illegitimate child is". So, she told Gargamel that she was pregnant but told him nothing of the affair. The months past and finally Wonder Woman gave birth to a baby boy. Gargamel was thrilled and had many thoughts of staying with his wife and leaving Cinderella alone for good. He wanted to try and make his family work.

Wonder Woman told her husband they were taking a trip to New York to visit her mother, and boy was Gargamel surprised when he was being pushed onto the Maury stage in front of the world. Wonder Woman told her sob story to the audience and told her husband of her infidelity. He was crushed, and also confessed all of his wild, steamy nights spent with Cinderella. And then the time came for the paternity results. . . . . Gargamel, you are NOT the father. Gargamel ran off stage sobbing. Aqua Man, you are NOT the father! "WHAT!?!?!?" screams Wonder Woman. Aqua Man runs off stage yelling at Wonder Woman calling her a whore. Wonder Woman is speechless as Maury is backstage asking her if she knows any other possible fathers. It is then that she confesses to sleeping with Spiderman, Superman, Batman and Prince Charming. Maury promises to help her contact the other possible baby daddy's.

Gargamel and Cinderella move in together and start a family of their own. They are very happily living in the evil step mother's house. Aqua Man is now single with an ad out in the local paper "SWM (single, wet, male), loves long swims in the ocean and taking candle lit baths. Seeking honest woman, super powers a plus".

As for Wonder Woman, she still has yet to find her son's father. Spiderman, Superman and Batman were all tested and were not the father and Prince Charming won't return Maury's calls.

And they all lived DYSFUNCTIONALLY EVER AFTER. . . . .. THE END!!