The Sorted Tale of Super Porportions

*Written By: A Colaboration of Twisted Minds (anj, mal, mich and maria)*

When their eyes met across the room, they both knew how the night was going to end. Gargamel had never seen a woman as beautiful as Cinderella. So what if she was covered in pig poo and smelled like last weeks chamber pot. She was gorgeous and, by the look in her eye, ready for some physical lovin. Gargamel stole a glance at his wife, Wonder Woman. He had been so attracted to her in the beginning. She used that Lasso of Truth like an extra appendage of her body and she knew how to rock it dirty. Lately, however, she seemed to spend a lot of time swimming. Gargamel could feel his man juices rising when he glanced back at Cinderella. She made a small motion to follow her when their eyes met again and she slipped out of the room quietly. Gargamel spared another glance at his wife, she was busy chatting it up with Aqua Man, so he followed Cinderella out into the hallway.

With her husband now out of sight, Wonder Woman began her routine of airing their dirty laundry to AquaMan. He had been her closest confidant for ages, almost like a big sister to her, as he’d say. She expressed her longing for someone worthy of her and her lasso quite often it would seem, as she’d belittle her husband nearly every time he’d step out of the room.

“His powers say nothing about him. They aren’t super in the slightest” She rolled her eyes before taking another bite from her hot dog, “ He can’t fly, and he surely can’t make my heart fly anymore”.

Aquaman listened with intent. “Have another drink.” He said as he held up a glass of Ocean water and Gin “and then we shall go for a swim. We can ride on a seahorse if you’d like”.

“No”, she said fed up. “I’d rather ride something else. Come on Aqua, let’s just try it out. To hell with your supposed fish fetish. Tell me you wouldn’t want a night with Wonder Woman”.

She staggered closer toward him holding the lasso, awaiting his brutally honest reply to her idea.

Wonder woman could feel her anticipation and her yearning to touch Aqua man....but she was afraid of his answer....slowly Aqua man walked over to her and gently put his hands on her face.....he leaned in and whispered...for you my friend I would do anything.....he kissed her red lips as if he was hungry....she felt the kiss spark through out her entire body so fierce that her legs gave way...he quickly grabbed her body and embraced her....he had secretly wanted her for a long time but he knew Gargamel would be furious and wouldnt share......

mean while in the hallway......

Gargamel quickly followed Cinderella.....he grabbed her by her shoulder and spun her around....Cinderella looked at him with tears in her eyes.....I am not worthy of your gaze....just look at me....i know Wonder Woman loves and adores you, but i cant help how my heart feels....and i am hideous....as she said her last work Gargamel gently kissed her.....Cinderella pulled back quickly...we cant, you musnt, what if....and she then kissed him back with such passion....she wanted this...she needed this....she had to have him...as she slowly kneeled down.....

. . . . . one thing led to another and before anybody knew what was happening Aqua Man and Wonder Woman were deep in the throws of passion and Cinderella and Gargamel were getting there swerve on too. It was the most amazing moment of passion any of them had ever felt.

A few weeks had passed by. Wonder Woman was at home cookin up some stew when she suddenly realized she was "late". No, not late to work but the dreaded "late" that meant nine months of throwing up and getting fat. She went to the doctors office the next afternoon only to find out her worst fear was true, she was pregnant. Then is occurred to her, the timing was just right, who was the baby daddy????!!?!!?! It could be Aqua Man, it could be her wretched husband Gargamel. She decided the only thing she could do was take Gargamel and Aqua Man onto the Maury Povich show entitled "I cheated on my husband with a member of the Justice League and now I don't know who the father of my possibly illegitimate child is". So, she told Gargamel that she was pregnant but told him nothing of the affair. The months past and finally Wonder Woman gave birth to a baby boy. Gargamel was thrilled and had many thoughts of staying with his wife and leaving Cinderella alone for good. He wanted to try and make his family work.

Wonder Woman told her husband they were taking a trip to New York to visit her mother, and boy was Gargamel surprised when he was being pushed onto the Maury stage in front of the world. Wonder Woman told her sob story to the audience and told her husband of her infidelity. He was crushed, and also confessed all of his wild, steamy nights spent with Cinderella. And then the time came for the paternity results. . . . . Gargamel, you are NOT the father. Gargamel ran off stage sobbing. Aqua Man, you are NOT the father! "WHAT!?!?!?" screams Wonder Woman. Aqua Man runs off stage yelling at Wonder Woman calling her a whore. Wonder Woman is speechless as Maury is backstage asking her if she knows any other possible fathers. It is then that she confesses to sleeping with Spiderman, Superman, Batman and Prince Charming. Maury promises to help her contact the other possible baby daddy's.

Gargamel and Cinderella move in together and start a family of their own. They are very happily living in the evil step mother's house. Aqua Man is now single with an ad out in the local paper "SWM (single, wet, male), loves long swims in the ocean and taking candle lit baths. Seeking honest woman, super powers a plus".

As for Wonder Woman, she still has yet to find her son's father. Spiderman, Superman and Batman were all tested and were not the father and Prince Charming won't return Maury's calls.

And they all lived DYSFUNCTIONALLY EVER AFTER. . . . .. THE END!!

The Game of Life

Sorry it's been ages since I last posted, guys. Life is so busy right now. I'm back at work 32 hours a week, and when I get home at night, all I want to do is play with the Crib Lizard. Man, he is the coolest! I love hanging out with him. I love making him smile, dancing around with him to oldies, and I love it when he falls asleep in my arms. Being a mom is, hands down, the best thing that I have ever been in my entire life.
There are so many things I want to talk about and tell you all, but this post would be HUGE, so I'm going to try to update you with out being long winded. Wish me luck..

Like I said before, I'm back at work 32 hours a week. Basically, Monday thru Thursday, 8 hours a day. We hired a nanny to watch Jay Monday thru Wednesday, and then the Hubby's mom takes him on her day off, Thursdays. She and Grandma Armijo spend the whole day with Jay! They go for walks and they play outside. Grandma A has told me over and over how much she looks forward to Thursdays. I think its good for Jay too. He gets to be with family all day and I know he doesn't want for anything while he's there. Heck, Dave's mom is as bad as mine is for jumping when Jay makes a noise. LOL The nanny we hired is such a sweetheart too. She's 19 and she currently works (well, its her last day) at a day care center. So she probably knows how to take care of the little guy better than I could. :o) Its going to be tight, money wise, but I think she is worth it.

Speaking of being worth it, I wonder if my job is anymore. I don't feel appreciated for all the things I do there. I walked into the office last Thursday and there were a couple of projects that got dropped in my lap right away. My boss even told me that I was "the only one who could do it". You would think that if I was so damn important, they would show a little love every now and then. Now we have a 60 year old office snitch, who the bosses have made "hall monitor". Like we are in fucking Junior High or something. Then they hired back a woman (again, an elderly lady) who quit last year and ran off to Arizona after marrying her great love. (Who had abandoned her years before when she got really sick and was in the hospital. Nice man, I'm sure.) Anyways, she gets a whole new position created for her and an office. I've been there 5 years, even answered questions over the phone while I was on maternity leave, came back early and they still treat me like I'm a newbie. So here's my plan. When I go back to full time, or even maybe before if they try to promote someone from below me seniority wise, I'm going to talk to my bosses and let them know I want to advance in the company. I want to grow into a better position. I wouldn't even mind trying my hand at being a manager. I'll take business classes or whatever, if they help pay for them. :o) If they say no, then I'll start looking for another job. I'm a smart person, I have excellent office skills, so I think I would be an asset to any company I work for. If this company isn't smart enough to see that, then they are going to loose me. What's sad is I think some of the other girls would walk with me. Princess Maria for one. I think Kurtis would too, although I can't really count him as one of the girls. He's too buff to be a chick, although he can act a little fruity sometimes. LOL

Slutty Hoe and Lord Dragon are getting married!!! I am so super pumped about that. I guess I can't call her Slutty Hoe no more, though. She in no longer Slutty nor a Hoe. Hmm. New nickname time. guess I could call her Lady Dragon. Then I would have 2 LD's. :o)

Life is really great right now. I feel like I'm the happiest I have ever been in my life. Things are great with the Hubby. He has really stepped up to the plate. He's wonderful with the little guy and he seems to be more attentive to me too.

I do my best to treasure the time I get with my family and let go the stresses and worries of life. I know, though, that life has to have balance of good and bad times. You must except the bad times because it helps make the good times be that more special.

Okay, well, I tried to keep it short, but I didn't do very well. Sorry, y'all. I'm silent for months and then write you a novel.
Anyways, here's a picture for you guys. Love ya. I'll try to write again soon.