Anticipations and Excitment of a Soon to be Mom

Leah has a very good point. Fears and Worries are not the only emotions I feel right now, and I do think I should write some of the things that I enjoy or look forward to. Being pregnant isn’t all worries. I have had moments of extreme joy and excitement at the impending arrival of our little boy.

I remember feeling incredibly excited at hearing his heart beat for the first time. The doc had to hunt for 10 minutes just to find it. At first all we heard was my steady heart beating, and then all of a sudden there was this faint, fast little beat on top of mine. It sounded like a train chugging at full speed! I looked over at the Hubby and he was grinning from ear to ear. It was incredible to share that moment with him and to know that yes, there really is a little person growing inside me. I think that was the first moment that it really hit home that I was pregnant. Every appointment since then I have heard his heart beating, and although it has slowed a lot since that first time, it's still reassuring to me to hear it everytime.

Another really neat thing is feeling that little one kick and move inside me. At first I could barely even feel anything, like a flutter of butterfly wings in my belly, but within a month or so, I was positive what I was feeling was the Crib Lizard™ moving and kicking me. I could see some kicks on the outside of my belly! Its a tad disturbing to see my belly flex outward really quick in one tiny spot then return to normal. The little guy used to get shy around the Hubby, so he didn’t get to feel his son move for the first time til about a month ago. Right now, this is what I like best about being pregnant. I love feeling him move all day long and I don’t even mind when the kicks or punches are hard. He has his quiet days too, which I don’t care for, but I guess it’s his way of giving me a little time to rest up for the next batch of internal calisthenics. Yesterday he was very active all day and I think he even got the hiccups for a little while. It’s amazing that he isn’t even here yet and I am already getting used to his schedule and reading his moves. I’m going to miss not feeling that closeness after he is born.

Watching him move on the ultrasound was incredible, too. Its one thing to feel it, but entirely another to see it happen right before my eyes! I got to see him yawn, stretch and kick in the hour or so that was just my mom and I. Then when everyone else came in (the Grandpa's, Grandma Armijo and the Hubby) I let the tech turn the monitor so they could all see. Later Grandma A. told me that the Crib Lizard™ waved, flexed his little arms, and moved lots for them.

It’s hard to put into words the level of excitement I feel towards him getting here. I can‘t hardly wait to look into his little eyes, see his little hands, fingers, feet and toes. He is a little miracle of ours and Gods creation. I look forward to seeing the hubby hold him for the first time. He has very limited experience with little one’s, especially baby’s that new, but I know in my heart he is going to do perfectly fine. I can only imagine the look on the Hubby’s face when they place his son in his arms for the first time. I sometimes wonder if the Hubby will be nervous, if he will get tears in his eyes, or will he just be all smiles and blue cigars.

I look forward to hearing the Crib Lizard™ smile and laugh for the first time. There is nothing in this world like the laughter of a baby. They don’t hold back and they don’t care what people think. I challenge anyone to hear and see a baby laugh and not laugh with them. Last night I dreamt I was blowing raspberries on the Crib Lizards™ belly. He was laughing and giggling so hard and so was I, to the point where I woke myself up laughing.

You may remember me talking about the really vivid dreams at the onset of my pregnancy. All thru the second trimester they seemed to chill out a little, but now they are getting vivid again, and I have to admit, most of the time I dream of the Crib Lizard™. I have dreamt of him talking to me, explaining to me that he wanted to build a VW Bug Convertible. (the hubby being a car guy, agreed to that, but said it would depend on how old he was when he made the request. Grandpa Armijo has a few ‘donor’ bugs that he would probably be willing to part with for his Grandson.) I’ve dreamt about talking to him in baby talk and him talking back in baby talk (also resulting in lots of giggling from both of us) and then the recent raspberry dream. I love those dreams and sometimes I wonder if he is dreaming of me.

Most of all, I look forward to sharing my life with this little guy. I know that life is going to be hard sometimes, and that I’m not always going to ‘like’ being a mother, but I think I will always ‘love’ it, just like I will always love him. This is going to be one of the greatest adventures of my life, although I'm not too 'rosey-eyed' to know that life isnt always going to be easy and care free, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the heavens or on Earth.

I can already picture him getting on the bus for his first day of school, his first girl friend, graduating high school, and getting married. I like to imagine what he will look like and wonder if he will like music like I do, or be a great artist like his dad. I look forward to watching his personality develop. I wonder if he will be a class clown or a serious student. Will he have an imagination like mine or be a little more ‘down to Earth’ like his dad? These are the things I think about before I go to sleep.

So, you see? I'm not all worries and fear. I think I'm more excited than anything else. There is so much to look farward to and I know that with the support of my Hubby and our wonderful family, we will be able to get thru any hardships that may come our way.