On the Lighter Side

I present, for your reading pleasure, Hsing's Guide to Pregnancy
Parts are funny and certain parts made me cry because they are so damn true. At least for me they hit home.


Thank you, Miss Hsing, for writing this honestly and for letting me link to your wonderful guide. *big hugs* for you and your little one.

Spongebob Grumpy Pants

Not a particularly bad morning for me, so far. I did have to sit in a 45 minute traffic jam because people in Albuquerque have yet to figure out that two objects of mass cannot occupy the same space at the same time. It could have been worse though. A friend told me about an 8 hour traffic jam he had to sit thru once. At least it wasnt that bad, although I was still a little late for work. I had left my cell phone at the office last night, so I couldnt even call the boss to let her know I was running late.

I had a great night last night. The hubby and I heard the heart beat of our little crib lizard, which was totally awesome. It sounded like a little freight train chugging away at full speed. I thought I would cry when I heard it, but I didn't. I wanted to laugh, but every time I giggled, she would have to spend 5 minutes trying to find it again, so I tried to stay really still. Dave was amazed at it too, I think. He is just so awkward sometimes. He didnt come stand by me or anything. He just sat in the little chair they had in the exam room and grinned. Ah well. I should be happy he was there at all.

So why oh why do I feel like being a grumpy, whiney, crying bitch today? Hormones? Overly tired? *shrug* Wish I knew. I really just want to crawl back into bed and not come out til the weekend. I dont want to be alone in bed either. I need a warm body next to me. If I went home right now, the warm body would most likely be a combination of Otis, Mid and Diablo Blanca (Aka. Shelby). I can’t go home though. Last week in the month is too busy for me to take time off because I'm feeling anti- social.

I'll just take this as one of those days where no matter what happens I'm just not going to be able to see the silver lining. Hey, I can't be Miss Pollyanna everyday. Good grief, I would have to kick my own ass.

What the hell did I do?

This past Sunday I finally wrestled the Hubby off of the computer long enough to check my email and the following is what I found:

Dear Angie,


I am writing you to let you know I will not be bothering you or your husband any more. I have always tried to be a polite and courteous guest at your home, but I think that there has been some kind of miss understandings. Over the last couple of months, even before you were pregnant, I started to notice how you liked to argue with me and my views. I am not a “right and wrong” kind of person; there is always a grey. There is more than one way to do things correctly. That’s what keeps us from being Nazi’s. You may have missed that I never put your ideas down, but am an individual and have alternative ways of seeing and doing things. I have always respected others ideas because that is what makes individuality great and much can be learned that way. I used to think that you were the most understanding and sweet person, but with in the last months you have proved me wrong. Now I feel like I am put down and attacked by you. That is not what friends do, especially when you call them family. I gave you a chance to come clean with your problem with me, but I don’t think you had the balls. You would rather play games with me and hurt me to drive me away. I can hear the pleasure in your voice when you turn me away and it makes me feel like you think I am a “cousin Kenny”. When you play games with me it is totally unfair because I can not defend myself or my actions, which is most likely a misunderstanding. I know you can be a good friend still but if you would rather have me gone I just wish you could have come clean. If you want to talk shit about me do it to my face. I might respect you for it. Even with all the shit I have been through I never take out my frustrations on the innocent. If this is what you are doing I don’t want a part of it. I hope you and Dave have a nice life. I will not go into anything else because I might regret what I would say after feeling so hurt by my only friends out here, but if I hear that you have bad mouthed me I will defend myself. I have never claimed to be perfect and you shouldn’t either.

Good Bye

The day before he sent this email he had called, and right away asked for the hubby. I told him "sure, you can talk to him; however, he has been sick all this week so this isn’t a good weekend for you to come out." I did not tell him this to be mean or nasty; in fact it was not a lie at all. The Hubby had taken a day and half off this past week because he was sick! Art is out at my house every weekend. Slutty Hoe and Lord Dragon can back me up on that. Anyone who has come and stayed with me for the weekend knows this. In fact, Art had been coming out 3 or 4 times a week, often spending the night on weekdays. I have tried to nicely talk to him about this, letting him know that life is changing for us, and that means he can not make his visits as frequent as he has been. At first, he didnt listen. I think because I was the one doing all the talking. Then the hubby finally said something to him about it, and Art cut his visits down to just the weekends. Well, I'm sorry, but I grow tired of having someone out at the house every single weekend. Sure, visits are fine once in a while. In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing Slutty Hoe and LD in a couple of weeks. However, I need a break, and having Art out every single weekend is not a break. He does not like it when I tell him, "No he can’t come out", it makes him cry and all of a sudden I'm a bitch. I have to tell him no if I dont want him to come out (and I do it nicely, you all know me) otherwise he calls, and if we dont pick up, he doesn’t leave a message and comes out anyways. One night, on a Wednesday earlier this month, he called to see if he could come out, I told him it wouldn’t be a good night since the Hubby was working late. (Again, a true statement.) The hubby and I agree that Art does not need to be out at the house when the hubby isn’t there. Art actually told me that he was coming out anyways because he wanted to go for a drive. When the hubby did get home from work, I told him exactly what Art said and that if he had the nerve to knock on our door, I was going to tell him to go home. I felt like I was back in the 50's and had no say in what happened in my household. The hubby and I have a partnership, we talk things over and both of us have a valid opinion. Art wasnt treating me that way. Thats why when he called on Saturday he asked for the hubby right away. He thought he could side step me by asking the hubby if he could come out. HA. I'm smarter than that and cut him off at the pass. The hubby did say it sounded as if Art was crying when I handed the phone over to him.

I feel like Art has taken advantage of our hospitality long before he wrote this email, yet, from the way he writes it, I'm the evil one. Honestly, I have never made a full grown man cry before. For christsakes he is almost 30 years old, doesn’t have a job, lives off of his parents, then comes out to our house and mooches off of us, while talking shit about the very people who support him!! The Hubby feels just the same as I do, we have had long discussions about it, however, the hubby can walk on egg shells around poor fragile Art, where I am sick of it. I shouldn’t have to mind what I say in my own house. I shouldn’t have to baby a near 30 year old BOY, when I have an actual baby of my own on the way.

Art has said before that he might be bipolar. After reading about it, I hope he isn’t, but then some of the symptoms sound a lot like him so maybe he is, although I have never seen him like this before. If he is then he needs to go see a real doctor, and not just an alternative medicine person that puts your feet in a machine to suck all your toxins out thru your toes. Bi-polar is a serious problem that requires a serious solution not some nut bag sucking your bank account dry with "cures" with a mixture of 10 different "vitamins".

The Hubby says I need to delete this email and just let it go and I think I will. I just wanted to vent a little on here first. I felt unjustly attacked by someone who I thought was a friend. I have never claimed to be perfect. Actually I remember an old post of mine where I actually say that I know I'm not perfect and that I dont ask perfection from others. Although this email did make me question if I have become some super bitch since getting knocked up. If I had, you guys would tell me right?

Anyways, I also wanted to let you know, Slutty Hoe, that you dont have to worry about Art coming out to the house when you come visit anymore. I thought that, at least, would make you smile.

Slap My Ass and Color Me Happy

I met the lady who is going to take over working with The Bitch in Santa Fe™ yesterday and I think she is going to do great! She has been in this type of biz for at least 10 years now and has dealt with people like The Bitch™ before, so I'm really excited to see what changes she makes. If, for some reason, the position becomes available again, and my lovely bosses try to push it back on me, I have decided that I will demand a lot more money or quit. I can not go back to working with (NOT FOR) The Bitch in Santa Fe™ unless I'm making way more money than I am now. At least with a bigger paycheck I could buy more Jeager to drown out the memories of having to work with her.

Oh! And while changing my links on my sidebar, I found out one of my favorite bands Fun Lovin Criminals has quite a few albums available besides the one I love to play over and over. So I had to put a few of their other albums on my "to buy" list on Amazon. Oh Happy Day! You have no idea how long I wanted more from them, wondered what happened to them, and now thanks to the internets, I know! I just needed to get off my lazy ass and look. I guess the are really popular over in the UK and tour there all the time. FUCK! Just another reason why I want to hop a plane to England.

Oh, and a friend of mine online made this cool ABC's of pregnancy post on her live journal blog. I'm going to ask her if I can post a link to it on here, because I think you all would get a kick out of it. I loved they way she wrote it, making me laugh out loud in places and cry at others. Whenever I read posts from my friends, I realize just how shitty of a writer I am, but I keep plugging away because I love to do it. Just like singing. Those of you who have heard my voice, know that I'm not winning American Idol any day soon, but I love it, so just crank the stereo louder to drown me out.

Sheesh

Hey, my loyal readers...Its not Friday yet!! But I have to say I am flattered at the requests for a blog post. You love me, You Really Love me!! Okay, Sally Fields moment over.

Well, lets see, I promised an update on how I was feeling about this whole parenting thing. I have thought a lot on it and I don't think its the parenting part that has got me worried. Its the whole being pregnant thing. My body feels out of control, my dreams are out of control, and I feel "different". Not like the normal "me" at all. I wont go into details, but all my body functions are screwy. I feel extremely horney one minute and the next I feel like I never want to be touched again. Hopefully all this will pass when the baby comes. I mean for the sake of pete, other women have passed this trial, surely I can too. I every bit of a bad ass as they are. But I think the pre-pregnancy information is sadly lacking. I feel like its some sort of secret society that just gets sprung on you when that little blue line appears on the pee stick. Well, I'm sure Miss Hobbit would have shared her infinite Mommy knowledge, had I known at the time what questions to ask.

I think I'm going to enjoy being a parent though. I can not wait to meet my little one, see what he/she looks like, get to know their little personality. I look forward to trying to teach them right from wrong, good from bad, and protecting them as much as I can with out smothering. (Ever notice that "smothering" is made of the word "mothering", with an additional "s". Hm. Interesting)

I really don't think I want to be pregnant again, though. I'm so disappointed in myself for it too. I always figured I would love it, feeling that little life growing inside me. Knowing that, for 9 months, its just me and him/her. Maybe once I get further along I will feel that way. Right now, however, I just want them to get here so I can have my body back. Its been mine for so long that I am having a terrible time sharing.

Instead of calling the baby him/her or it, I'm just going to name it The Crib Lizard. I heard that the other day and it cracked me up, so since everyone else on here has a nickname, the little person growing in me might as well too. Crib Lizard. Very southwesterny..

My dreams, whoa. Any of you women out there thinking of getting pregnant, beware. Your dreams are vivid every single night. I have not had nightmares where I was actually afraid since I was a kid, until the past few months. Mass murder in New York, a man made of fire and this poor Chinese chick had to sacrifice herself to him. Not to mention my big black lesbian lover. *shaking my head*
Once again, all in the joys of parenting.

Note: I wrote this in a hurry at the end of the day so if there are spelling mistakes, well bite me.

Yet Another Friday Post. What a lazy bitch I am.

I have just noticed a pattern on my blog here. I do most of my postings on Friday. Hm. Which then led me to ponder why. The only answer I can think of is I actually do work through out the week, then once Friday hits, I'm burned out. I'm ready for the weekend to be here and I am done working. Part of the burn out comes from this job. Its stressful all the time. Especially since I began working with (not FOR) The Bitch In Santa Fe™. Fortunately, that is not going to be my problem for very much longer. The poor soul who is going to take over for me starts on Tuesday. (Since we are all off on Monday! Woo Hoo! Go Labor Day!) The other part of it is I think I am really getting sick of this job. Not only because of The Bitch In Santa Fe™, but because I feel like my employers do not actually care about any of us employee's. Which, if true, is a piss poor way to run a business. Think about it. If all you have is managment, then who does the "grunt" work that actually keeps the company running? Honestly, my bosses have no clue what it is I do all day, and I am the only one in the company who does it. They should feel damn lucky that I am such a good employee with a good work ethic. Otherwise I would be able to just walk out of here and never look back, regardless of the shit creek I would leave them floating in. But, I can't do that. Not because I care about my bosses or my job, but because I base a lot of my own self worth on how well I do my job. So if I just quit, then I would feel like I let myself down.



Ha ha. I fooled you! You may have stopped by here last Friday and saw the same lame post from the previous week, then today, lo and behold here is a brand new lame post. You may have thought to yourself, how did I miss it?! Well, I fooled you. Instead of publishing this last Friday I saved it as a draft. We were having a wicked thunderstorm and the computers kept going down so I kept on saving just in case the computers died before I finished what I wanted to say. Like this post was going to win a Pulitzer. In fact today is MondayTuesday, even though the date above the title will show it to have been published on Friday.. What a sneaky bitch I am. Sneaky and lazy.

Alright, so I have established that it is in fact Tuesday when I finished writing and published this. Its actually 4:04 in the afternoon. Which means I am about 24 minutes from leaving this cubie to make my way home. I cant wait. I have not heard from The Bitch In Santa Fe™, but thats not surprising seems how she is in France, probably still not shaving her pits. Maybe they have a special cream to cure ugly bag of skin syndrom. If anyone can do it, it would be the French.

Preggo update. I think the morning sickness has passed. I didnt heave today and I was able to eat my breakfast burrito from La Hacienda right when I got to work. Now granted I had to make a special trip just to go get it, I had to smell it in my truck for a good 30 minutes and I was almost late to work because of it, but oh it was so worth it. I love thier Breakfast burritos. When I worked near by them I had one every single morning. In fact, I ate there so much that when my birthday came around, the nice lady who worked the drive up window gave me a birthday card with a 20 in it. Probably thinking I would spend it on burrito's, which I did. I wish they had one closer by. Ah well. Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which gets fuller faster, right Dad? Always full of words of wisdom, my dad. Oh and my belly is a little bigger, but not big enough to warrent a picture yet. Maybe later. Right now it just kinda looks like I got a really big gas bubble. I STILL have a nasty bruise on my arm from where that Vampire in the blood testing department took 4 pints worth of samples of my blood. Its been a good 2 weeks and I still look like I have a heroine addiction. They didnt even give me a cookie and juice. Bastards. Ah well. All part of the joys of parenthood, I suppose. Speaking of, I am developing definite feelings about that, now that the inital shock has worn off. I'll save that for my next post though..Til then Love ya.