"The Story of Smurfette's Nasty Snatch"...

I wrote this in a moment of boredom here at work and it made Princess Maria Laugh, so I thought in lieu of a real post, I would share it with the rest of you. A real post to follow shortly..(Okay, like tomorrow or Monday)



One day, Handy Smurf was walking thru the forest, looking for smurf berries, when he began to smell something like a pile of dead fish. (Literally he could almost smell the "pile", really! Smurfs have an incredible sense of smell! ) He came around a tree and behold the smell was coming from another Smurf!

"How in the world could a smurf smell like that?" Handy wondered.
Since he was curious as well as handy, he went to go talk to the smelly smurf.
"What the smurf have you been eating, young Smurf? It smurfin smells like a pile of smurfin dead fish over here!" he asked

"Sniff, sniff. There isn't any reason to use such foul language." the smelly smurf said.
"But, for smurfs sake! I'm about to regurgitate all my smurf berries!" Handy cried out
"sniff sniff snort snort. I'm smurfin sorry! Its Gargamel !" the smelly smurf said.
"Gargamel?! Sure, his feet smell like Azrel pissed on his socks and then left them out in the sun to bake, but I haven't ever smelled this strong fishy smell like I do right now! Look! Your scaring away all the forest creatures!!!"
"Gargamel put a curse on my smurf hole! He said anytime I opened my legs it would reek like a pile of dead fish. If I shake my little smurf butt while my legs are spread, fish heads will fall out of my smurfin smurf hole!! What am I going to do?!" the poor little stinky smurf sobbed.
"Well, what's your name? I cant very well smurfing call you Nasty Smelling Smurf. Or Deadfishy Smurf" Handy said
"I'm Smurfette" she said.
"Well, Smurfette, I will help you but can you walk back to the smurf village with your knees together? If I smell any more of your nasty snatch, I'm going to smurfing puke"

So the two smurfs head back to the village. Handy walking about 10 feet in front of Smurfette. Smurfette came waddling the best she can with the knees together. Even still, as she walks by, flowers wilted, trees cringed, and the birds drop dead right out of the sky.

As soon as they made it back to the smurf village, Handy took Smurfette to go see the wise old Pimp Daddy Poppa Smurf.

"Whoa, who smells like an over smurfed hooker?!" Exclaimed Pimp Daddy poppa Smurf
"Sniff, Sniff, Its me o-wise and great pimp daddy poppa smurf! Gargamel put a curse on me, causing my smufing smurf hole to reek like dead fish!" said the smelly Smurfette.
"that's no curse!" Said the pimp daddy poppa smurf. "that's just plain over use! What you smurfin need to do, is go down to the river and wash your stinking smurf hole, you smurfin smurfin smurf!"
"What foul language you all have!" Said Smurfette
"Not as foul as your snatch, so go wash up. I don't want you spreading diseases to my other healthy little smurfs"

So Smurfette went down to the river and washed her nasty ole snatch. While at the river she discovered some vinegar and used it as well. When she got back to the village, she smelled so much better that the other smurfs fell over themselves to get in her smurf pants. Of course she wasn't wearing any, so that made it easy for the other smurfs. In fact, smurfette became so popular that day that she had her brains smurfed out 10 or 12 times!!! She was happy as could be. Everyone loved her snatch again. All she had to do is remember to wash it regularly and the fishy smell never returned.

Moral of the story: bathe regularly and you will get some more often.