Hold Still, You Might Like It

Ding! Fries are Done!

2011-09-06T08:35:00.002-06:00

I hate computer problems. I mean, they're fun in a way because I get that sense of accomplishment when I fix said problem, but damn, they happen at the most inconvienant of times.
I was going to do some writing this morning, but it's not finding my sd cards-the places where I back up my files.
The good news is it seems to be just the one card. I have other ways to get it to come up on the comp, so I'll just try one of those when I can find the hardware.
So yeah. Problem solved, no real issues, just some wasted time.

Speaking of time wasting things, facebook is evil. Between status shuffle and facestalking people, I waste entirely too much time on there. I should be writing.

I want to be writing. I love the worlds I create in my head, it just takes so damn long to put in words. Dave thinks it's amazing I can write 2500 words in a 3 hour period. I'm amazed that's all I got done. Feels like it should be more.

Another good time waster is the bloggess. She cracks me up on damn near every post. I would love to have a funny blog like that, but frankly, dave doesn't have the sense of humor Victor does. I once put a bra on my head (a-la weird science) and asked Dave to kiss me and he wouldnt do it. He didn't laugh or act horrified. He looked at me like he was disgusted and said no. DISGUSTED! What the hell? That shit's funny and if he put a bra on his head, I'd kiss him!!
So, since I don't have a husband that appreciates the finer points of crazy weirdness, I live vicariously thru the bloggess. PS. I really want a Copernicus

Of course, the last two days I've been kid free and that helps. Especially when you're writing porn stories. Now he's back though and I have a hard time writing words like "clit" with my four year old standing at the door yelling "Hey Mommy"
Ah, nap time, you can't be here soon enough.

I'm stuck. I suck. I like s-words

2010-07-27T10:48:00.003-06:00

*sighs* See? I'm stuck on S-words today. Jay's discovered he can tell what letter a word starts with if he sounds it out. I know. He's so fracking smart!! Anyways, once we find a word, like snail, we see how many other words start with the same letter. You really don't know how limited your vocabulary is until you're 12 deep into S words. (obviously trying not to repeat any) It's pretty fun, but makes my hand itch for a dictionary. :o)

So Agents is done, published and already purchased (thank you all very much!). I'm having a hellova time starting anything new though. I know I said I had a sappy romance on the brain but it's a struggle to get through. It's like my muse has gone on vacation. I'm not even interested in book 2 of AoG. It's so fracking weird because every single time I've finished working on Agents, I got excited about the next one. I mean, seriously, I've got some killer notes and ideas. Even if everyone comes back and says Agents is 'mule vomit' I'll probably still write the story's because Elli and Jacen deserve it. I think I would. I hope. Maybe?
I dunno.

I'm not looking for you to tell me (again) that I don't suck as bad as I think. You guys love me and of course you're going to say that. I just want to release some of this anxiety I've been having. My thoughts are scattered and I can't seem to focus. I don't know what, exactly, is wrong or how I can go about fixing it. No, I'm not pregnant. Just got done bleeding, thankyouverymuch. I just wish they made a focus tea or something.

I read a book in a 3 hour span (while Jay napped) yesterday. A Harlequin Romance and O.M.G was it hawt. 4 bucks at wally world and it rocked my socks. I don't know if I can do that. I mean the sex scenes. Don't get me wrong. I can write them. I wish I had saved some of my steamy emails over the years, but what I can't handle is you guys reading it. I mean, I don't want you picturing ME in those scenes, or I dunno. Just seems hella dirty. *chuckling*

Maybe I'll give it a whirl and tell myself you'll never read it. Maybe I'll submit it to Harlequin if I think it comes out good enough and if they like it, well, then MAYBE I'll tell you about it. My point is, don't hold your breath for the romance novel. I'm pretty sure I can work on more than one story at a time. I usually have a couple of different books going with out any problem. I will work on the next AoG book. (Light, I need a title for it)

Til next time..thanks for listening to me rant, babble and generally be selfish. I'm glad you got your book today sis. I hope you enjoy it.

Love, Peace and Chicken Grease

Give me a P! Give me a R! Give me an O! Give me a C! Give me another R! Give me an A! Give me a....ahh never mind.

2010-07-23T08:33:00.005-06:00

Hello Again! I know. Two blog posts in as many months. Well, wipe the shock off your faces. I'm blogging again for the same reason I did before when I was working-procrastination. Yup. I've got stories I should be writing. Which brings me to a side note:

Agents is done. It was supposed to be on sale today, but there was a problem with the cover. *sighs* My problem, ultimately, is I'm impatient. I don't take the time I need to do things right the first effing time which causes longer delays in the end. Why can't I learn that lesson?! Anyways, I got the problem fixed, and it WILL be done tomorrow. I'm a little scared. You guys are my biggest (and, lets face it, my ONLY) fans. LOL But that's okay, cause you guys are the BEST fans I could ever wish for. But...I don't know. I worry that Agents sucks balls. I worry that anyone who reads it will be so offended by my idiocy that they'll refuse to ever speak to me again. They'll want to avoid possibly becoming dumber just by associating with me. What? That shit happens. The hubby asked me if I was going to order a final copy for myself. I said I was. Good, he tells me, I want to read it. My hubby, who does not read anything that doesn't have pictures. Not that he's illiterate, but he prefers information type books. He always has his nose stuck in one of the two gun encyclopedia's I got him. I told him I would be really embarrassed. It's a CHICK story. I know it is. Yeah, there's some action and stuff, but for the most part, its for the girls. I would be just as mortified if my DAD read it. For some reason, I don't mind if Brother reads my stories. Maybe it's cause he's ALWAYS read them. I dunno, but it is nice to have a guy give his opinions.

Anyways, what really sucks (and coming back to the whole procrastination thing) is I have MORE story's to write. Book 2 of the Armor of God series. (No more than 3, I think-book 2 is going to be...complicated. I'm actually really excited to see what's in store for Elli and the gang.) This other story that's going to be a romance. *shaking my head* It's fiction, obviously, but its not fantasy, supernatural, or anything like that. Just ordinary people overcoming extraordinary situation. Really a-typical but this story has been burning up my brain waves. I think about it all the time. Then there is Bryce Marshalls, which I think the guys would like better. And I have a beginning of a story Hoskins started writing back in high school. I really want to work on that with him. I think that it would be fantastic.

There are others that are just glimmers of idea's right now. The reason why it sucks is because if Agents sucks balls, then what the hell makes me think I can write these other stories? My idea's feel like birds who fly into my brain and roost. I think if I tried, I could just let those birds fly free and they can roost in some one else's brain. Maybe someone better at writing the stories the birds carry. Then part of me kicks in and says Carpe Diem, Bitch! What it boils down to is I love writing. Even if my stories or writing sucks, I still enjoy it. I guess its kinda like singing in the shower. Sure, I'll never be an American Idol or any of that bullshit, but I have fun and most importantly, I'm entertaining myself. lol.

I think I need to write my cheesy paperback romance (it will be an adult novel. I don't want to limit myself on this one) and then work on the second book of AoG. If I can get the cheese out of the way, maybe it'll free up some waves for AoG.

I guess what I should do is just start writing and see what the hell happens.Heh. But I'm not. I'm totally sitting here, blogging. I could be in my cubie right now for all you guys know. Cept, I'm not. I'm on the back porch, in my jammies. That's right. I haven't even showered yet today.
No really, I'm going right now. After I check face book. And then I'm totally there. I'll send out the link for Agents tomorrow. Maybe today, we'll see how fast they get back to me.

So until next time...I hope y'all have a great day and a wonderful weekend.
Love ya.

Update (not even an hour later): It's Done! Agents is for sale!

Whoa. I wrote a book in less than a year. Sure, it might be what happens when a mule has mud butt, however, it's done. I finished it from beginning to end. Go me. :o)

2010-07-08T08:41:00.002-06:00

I should be writing. Not here on this blog, but working on Agents. Making it tighter, giving the characters some depth. Instead, I'm on the back porch, cigarette between my lips, blogging. I've not blogged for a long while. Months. So why am I here instead of working? (The hubby says writing is my job now. Sweet, yet misguided in my opinion.) I'm here because my creative juices are..just...not flowing. I love my characters in Agents. I can see them in my head. I'm having a hellova time making them come alive on the page. I have it in me to do it. I think. Maybe not. If I can see them, though, I should be able to make my readers see them too. Right? *sigh*

So, I'm hoping by writing whatever comes to my mind on here will help open up the flows of creativity that I know are in there somewhere. Untapped wells of brilliance hidden under layers and layers of shit floating thru my mind.

I dreamt of Hoskins the other night. Not that kind of dream, you pervs. The point is the next morning I had a text from him. Coincidence? I don't believe in them. Everything happens for a reason and although he is okay and I'm okay, I think I needed to hear from him and somehow, he knew. That happens a lot with the people I'm close to. There's a word for it. Family. Sharing the same blood line isn't important or necessary. People form bonds, share memories and somehow end up connected. Sometimes it seems the hubby can read my mind. I think that's because we've been together for so long. I KNOW my sis can read my mind. She knows my intentions no matter how I try to hide them. She can tell if I'm drunk, even if she's across the room. (Maybe I'm an obvious drunk? I don't think so. Missy didn't seem to notice and she was right next to me. Hell, she SAW me take those two or three huge tequila shots.) Anyways, my point is, my sis know me better than anyone and it's because she's been my best friend since she was born. Of course, it took us a few years to figure out we were friends, but the entire time we were learning about each other. Right sis? ;o)

Of course, it doesn't help my writing that I'm away from the comp every tem minutes with the little one. How do you say no to the little voice that asks you "Play with me please mommy." Yeah. Only the hardest of hearts could turn that down. So inteast of writing, I find myself drifting mustangs on the coffee table or playing trains or reading a book. I don't feel like that isn't time well spent, I just wish sometimes there were more hours in a day. I'd let the hubby take over when he gets home from work, but he wants to relax or do things around the house and then, later, when the kid is in bed, that's when the hubby wants to spend time with me. Not enough hours.

I do nap and enjoy eight hours of rest at night, which kind of worries me. Not so much the eight hours at night, but the naps. If I go a couple of days with out one, I get really cranky and it's hard to last past 9 by the second day. Am I just getting old? Am I depressed? *shrug* Could be either one or something else entirely.

This is so not working. I'm texting Mitch and thinking about facebook. C'mon Muse, where are you? How can I entice you to whisper inspiration in my ear? Elli, Jacen, Abe, Jess, Keith, they all burn within me to have their stories told. All I can think of right now is if anyone has commented on my status. :o/ I need help.
FB aholics or something.
Guess I'll check it. Just really quick......HA! two likes and a comment. lol I'm so pathetic.

Okay, so I'm going to do some research for Agents and then seriously bust into it. No, really. I swear. Sis, I know it'll never be perfect, but it can still be better. The begining is slow and then it picks up. I don't want it to be slow anywhere. And it seems flat. The characters are lifeless. Some parts are good and some are really, really terrible. So, I know you have been impatiently waiting and it'll be done soon. I'm so ready for the next book and I hope I can do better on this one from the start.
Really really. Give me another week. Then, hopefully, I'll be satisfied enough that I won't mind if complete strangers read it. ;o)

Snow pics from 2007

2010-01-21T11:57:00.002-07:00

In the Interest of Wasting Time

2010-01-11T14:00:00.004-07:00

So here we are at Monday again. I am constantly amazed that the work week drags painfully by, while the weekend jets by so quickly, you're left wondering on Sunday night just where the weekend went. I really got spoiled over the holidays. Multiple 3 day weekends, and a couple of solid weeks off thrown in for good measure. Now, I'm finding that getting back into the "groove" of working 40 hours a week is kind of hard.
Ah-well. I'll get back into the swing of things.

Not much to report in daily life at this time. Get up, go to work, come home, take care of the kiddo til I get him off to bed, then I get a couple of hours to myself to read, write, or (as of lately) catch up on my Burn Notice. Man, that is an awesome show. If you haven't watched it, check it out when you can. I'm hooked and I'm currently rocking a crush on Jeffery Donovan.

Yeah. I know. Words fail me too and I'm reduced to panting and drooling like a crazed fan girl. I'd behave if I ever met him, but I'm not promising that I wouldn't be undressing the man in my mind during our conversation.
You all might be surprised how often I do that anyway. *wink*

Story update: I'm reading through it still. It's hard to get motivated to edit it because of that "You Suck" voice and also because well, I guess fear. Fear that it does suck. Fear that it's good and people will expect more good things from me in the future. I like to keep expectations of me low, that way people are always pleasantly surprised. It's like guessing an arrival date for something being shipped. Always guess big, that way, when it arrives early, the person is happy.

I'm going to link to my NaNo account over on the side bar, so feel free to pop on over there and read the synopsis (I should re-write that.Hmm. I'll get to it one of these days.) and a sample of the story.

I swear to you, the few who have been with me from step one of my writing journey, that I will finish this and (self) publish it. I want to see it as a book as much as you all. And I wouldn't let all your hard work go to waste by just sitting on it forever and not doing anything with it. I owe you guys and maybe by publishing this I can repay you somewhat.

Well, 30 minutes left of my day. What to do. Work? Don't be absurd. I'm going to spell check this and maybe post a link to it on my FB page. With how slow FB has been for me lately, that should just about tie up the remaining half an hour of my day.
Woo!

Stay tuned for more updates. More ramblings. And if you're new to this blog, well, Hold Still. You might like it. :o)

Welcome to Down Town Coolsville. Population....Us.

2010-01-08T14:37:00.003-07:00

*sigh* Why is it that the last hour of the work day on a Friday seems to not obey the usual rules of time? Why is it that 3 to 4 feels immensely longer than one hour? Why does an hour with my son go by so quickly, but the hour wait to get back to him feels like it takes years instead of 60 minutes? I honestly dont have the answer, but I will say this; it sucks monkey balls.

So, to help pass the time, I thought I would steal an idea from the madness and give you guys my 2009 in review.

January-Helped to throw one kick ass birthday party for mom who turned 50. Massive amounts of Schnapps and fun were had by all.

February- Celebrated my 12th year of being with the hubby. Incredible, isn't it?

March- Turned 30-was not impressed

April - The Crib Lizard™ turned 2!

May- Celebrated the return of warm weather. Woo Hoo! Almost tank top and flip flop weather. Hells yeah! Also got my Taurus .45; A mothers Day gift from the Crib Lizard™ and the hubby. I love that piece. Seriously lots of fun to take to the range.

June- Enjoyed every single moment outside that I could.

July -Spent the 4th in Nebraska with my crazy, yet wonderful, family. Drove Betty (the G8) and wow, I love that car!

August Spent as much time on the back porch as possible. BBQ's and reading. I'm a total porch monkey.

September Began to mourn the loss of summer.

October Celebrated 5 years of marriage to the hubby. Even though we didn't have the kiddo, we didn't do anything. He was sick and I was riding the cotton pony. *shrug* Shit happens. The next Wheel of Time book was released, and I began to really think about my NaNo story. Got the Character profiles and the general out line done. Woo HOO!

November Wrote and completed a 50 thousand word novel in 30 days. It was crazy and stressful and completely AWESOME. Can't wait to do it again this year. A BIG THANK YOU to the people who read my updates everyday and gave me feedback. You all know who you are and yes, I'll have a thank you page in my book when I publish this story. :o)

December Drank more alcohol (schnapps-thanks, uncle B!) at the annual Christmas Party than I have in 5 years. The last time I got that toasted was at my 25th b-day party. I remember now why I don't do that to myself very often.
Also had a great Christmas with the Crib Lizard™. He was totally into all the lights, Santa, Rudolph and the whole deal. I got to be Santa this year, first time for me, and it was so much fun, I wish we had Christmas every month!

So, that's just a general overview. I'm sure there are more things I could list, but my brain is not working so well right now. One of the side effects of being a morning person I suppose.

Speaking of, my boss this morning actually asked me how I can be so perky every single morning. :o/ What the hell was I supposed to say to that? Anyways, yeah, I'm a perky morning person; after I get my shower and coffee. (in that order, thankyouverymuch) Sorry I'm not crusty enough for you.

I'll try to write on here more often, my dear readers. I've been getting the writing bug again lately and well, I've missed blogging. I feel so hip when I blog.

For the hell of it...

2009-04-28T10:43:00.003-06:00

Just cause its nice to have a back up: Here is a story I'm working on.
It's not even close to finished, but I'll add updates when I get them done.

Chapter 1

Rain dripped down the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his back. Bryce Riley Marshall (the third) had been sitting in the same spot for an hour now, the last 30 minutes of it being soaked by the downpour of rain, trying to be very still while watching the entrance of the ancient tomb. He had found a little rock out cropping, just large enough for his athletic body to squeeze into, to hide out and wait for the archaeologists to leave. He had a good view of the tomb entrance, but he doubted very much they would be able to see him. The rain would help with that as well. He wore non-descript shirt and pants, all in brownish earth tones to blend in with the desert, a black leather holster slug over his shoulders-resting next to his ribs complete with a Smith and Wesson .45 that was fully loaded and ready to fire. He thought about the archeologists inside, wondering what could be taking them so long. It was well past dark, and the torches inside wouldn’t be very effective in lighting up the tomb with out the natural sunlight to help.

They were here to study, he was here to rob, but Bryce had grown tired of robbing ancient tombs, and the killing that usually went along with it. This time, upon discovering that the tomb was still being studied, he decided to wait until it was clear. It would be easier; he told himself for the millionth time; get in and get out. No mess. No bodies to hide. Grab the treasure and go. He was repeating this mantra over and over in his head when they appeared at the entrance of the tomb. Talking excitedly, a group of 4 archaeologists came streaming out of the cave like structure, completely oblivious to the rain and the dangerous man hidden in it. They made their way to their camp, a small cluster of white tents that didn’t look like they would provide much shelter from the penetrating rain, not bothering to avoid the mud. Boyce waited, the rain continuing to fall in huge fat drops, soaking thru his oiled leather jacket, sending shivers down his spine that he fought hard to repress. Finally, when the camp seemed to have gotten quiet, he snuck quietly to the entrance of the tomb.

It took a minute for Bryce’s eyes to adjust to the gloom inside. It looked just like every other tomb he’d seen in the past 10 or so years of his ‘career’. Taking a small picture out of the breast pocket on his shirt, he took a long look at it and then scanned the room. Luckily, the archaeologists hadn’t removed anything, yet. He wouldn’t have to search the camp, meaning no contact with the scientists, no chance to have to take their lives needlessly. Seeing nothing but some broken pottery and ancient pictures painted on the walls, Bryce felt a moment of panic. He hadn’t seen anything being removed from the tomb, but what if they had snuck it out somehow? He relaxed as his eyes fell on a doorway further in the back of the room. It must be in there. Walking quickly, trusting his excellent night vision to help him not stumble over the uneven floor, he entered the next room and found it to be very similar to the first. This one contained a mummy, however, and it looked as if the archeologists had spent most of their time in here. The floor was covered with foot prints and shuffling marks, as if they had attempted to move the mummy. Bryce was getting nervous now. This was his last job. No one else knew that, but Bryce was sure, and he didn’t want to screw it up. His client, “Mr. Anonymous”, would not be pleased to hear that Bryce was unable to recover the treasure for him.

This room, although much like the first, did not have any other doorways. Frustrated, Bryce began to walk around the edge of the room. He felt along the cold rock walls, first along the north side, then the east, then the south. Along the west wall, his hands growing more frantic in their search, he felt something…..different. It was small, round, and smooth. A sharp contrast of the bumpy rock walls. He ran his palm over the object again; making sure it wasn’t just some polished part of the wall. Sure enough, while the wall was rough and cold, the object was smooth, and just slightly warm. As if it absorbed some of the heat from Bryce’s hands as they had come in contact with it. He smiled slyly in the dark, and pressed down on the smooth object. It sunk in and the wall which he was standing in front of shuddered, and then opened, revealing a small tunnel. Grinning again, Bryce, grabbed the flashlight from his coat pocket, and went thru the opening.

The tunnel had a low ceiling and when Bryce stretched his arms out to either side of him, he could place his palms flat against the walls. There was a musty smell that hung thick in the air, which made it more difficult for Bryce to draw a breath. Pushing forward, Bryce turned on his flashlight and the tunnel was suddenly bright. He blinked a few times to adjust before moving forward, again, careful not to trip. It wasn’t a long tunnel, only about 50 yards or so and Bryce could already see another chamber at the end. This one, although dark as the rest, appeared to have been undisturbed since it was sealed up however many hundreds of years ago. There was no mummy or pottery or paintings on the walls here; no foot prints in the sand. All that was in this little room was a low, blue/grey stone pillar, with a skeletal head and torso balanced on top. Hung around the skeletal neck on a thick, old chain was the treasure Bryce was after-the Dragon Pendant of Epliel. According to legend (and who ever believes those?!) this pendant once belonged to the God, Epliel, The Evil Unspeakable Devourer of Souls. The pendant was used in ancient ceremonies as a way to harvest the soul of the sacrifice, and feed it to the ever hungry Epliel. The pendant was shaped like a long, serpentine dragon, looped back on itself so it made a complete circle. It was about the size of the diameter of a coffee cup, green, with red ruby chips for eyes that picked up the light from Bryce’s flashlight, making them flash as if they were alive. Having retrieved many terrible treasures over the years made Bryce seem almost complacent. He’d handled lots of ancient items and none of them had ever hurt him or come back to haunt him. It just looked like a creepy dragon necklace to him. Carefully, so he didn’t disturb the ancient corpse (or partial corpse) Bryce reached out and gently pulled the necklace and pendant over the skull. The pendant was warm in his hand, like the entrance marker to the passage way had been, and it was heavy. A lot heavier than it looked at first. Trying not to think about where the heat may be coming from, Bryce placed the pendant in the deep pocket inside the breast of his coat and turned to head back down the tunnel. With any luck, the archeologists wouldn’t even know he had been there.

When he reached the entrance to the tunnel, he paused, locating the round, smooth disc-like part of the wall that had caused the door to open. Looking closely at it with the light from his flashlight, Bryce noticed it looked just like the rest of the wall. To the casual eye, it wouldn’t stand out at all. He toyed with the thought of leaving the door to the tunnel open for the archeologists, just to mess with them, but decided that it was better if they never even knew that it existed. Then they wouldn’t notice anything missing. He pressed the disc-like key again and the door closed, leaving no sign that there had ever been a door there at all. Happy with his find and feeling more exuberated than ever before, Bryce turned off his flashlight and turned to go back to the outer chamber of the tomb. “Don’t Move.” A high, soft voice came from the sudden dark. “What are you doing here?” Bryce steadied his breathing, and concentrated on where the voice was coming from. His eyes had not adjusted back to the dark since turning off his flashlight and he could only guess who was in front of him. One of the archaeologists to be sure, but how had she discovered he was here?
“Relax” he said. “I got lost in the dark and I found this cave. Or what I thought was a cave. I was just looking for a place to get out of the rain.”

“You were just wandering around the desert, in the dark, in the rain, and happened to stumble upon this ‘cave’ ” she said sarcastically, “Right. What are you really doing here?” This was going to be tricky, he thought. He figured she couldn’t see him any better than he could see her, so he very carefully and very quietly took a step towards her.

“Look” he said, trying not to sound threatening “I’m leaving okay? No harm, no foul.”

“Stop right there.” she sounded afraid now. Good, he thought to himself. Fear is an easy emotion to feed off of, and it can cloud a person’s judgment. She was blocking the doorway to the outer chamber and the only way out of the tomb. Carefully taking another step forward, Bryce was with in arms reach of her now. He could just make out some of her features. She was about average height, 5 foot 6 inch’s or so, shorter than him, and had long hair. The color of it was hard to determine in the gloom, but it seemed dark, like any light that hit it was immediately absorbed. She had a slight build, and she stood stiffly, evidence of her fear. He quietly drew his pistol and in one swift movement, he was behind her. He hit her once on the head with the butt of his gun, and as she crumpled, he caught her and laid her gently on the dirt floor.

“I am sorry about this, doll, but it’s better than the alternative.” He said in a whisper and then quietly made his way out of the tomb. The rain had stopped while he was inside, although he couldn’t have been in there more than a half an hour all together. The night was still dark, the remaining clouds covering the moon, and there was no other movement from the nearby camp. Bryce made his way past his previous hiding spot, and out into the desert, blending into the night.

It had been a long flight home and Bryce was exhausted. He unlocked the door to his second floor apartment, flipped on the lights and went in. His apartment was small; 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, and a kitchen/living room area. It was cramped and cluttered with odds and ends he’d collected over the years but not what anyone would call un-clean. Books lined a wall to wall bookshelf and some sat in stacks around the living room. He had just a few pieces of furniture; an old brown leather lazy boy, a small 2 cushion couch, and a cheap pressed board entertainment center with a TV and stereo stragically placed in the appropriate cubby holes.

Shrugging out of his coat, he laid it across the back of the lazy boy and went to take a shower. He hadn’t stopped to rest since leaving the tomb, nervous that the archeologist he had hit would be able to identify him somehow, so he’d just hopped a plane as soon as possible, not even sleeping during the flight. He was exhausted and dirty. First things first, he thought. Shower. Then Bed. Then I can call “Mr. Anonomyse” and let him know his prize is here.

Bryce let the hot water run over his body and sooth away the aches and pains. When he had finally ran out of hot water, he toweled off and crawled into bed, not bothering to put on any clothes, or dry his dark blond hair. He thought he would be asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but instead he found himself thinking about the temple, the pendant, and the woman who had caught him there. How had she known he was in there? He was too far inside for the light from his flashlight to be seen, he had been quiet; not even the ancient door opening for the first time in however many hundreds of years had barely made a noise. Strangely, he hoped she was okay. That thought got him wondering why he cared so much. He’d killed before to get the prize he was after. Why would simply hurting someone bother him? He knew why. Because he’d already seen and done too much violence. He was done; burnt out. Tired of retrieving ancient and rare treasures for rich people. Tired of hurting innocents, even if it was better than just killing them. He was just tired. He threw his arm over his eyes and tried to block faces that always appeared to him when he closed his eyes. Bryce wasn’t a killer. Every life he had ever taken was burned onto to his very soul; a weight he carried with him always. At least that part of his life was done. No more innocents to add to the long list. No more Tomb raiding, no more killing. Once this transaction was completed, he would walk away.

As they often do when he thinks of leaving, his thoughts turned to his life before the raiding and killing. These memories were….fuzzy and distant, like they belonged to someone else. He could remember his mother holding him after he had a bad fall. That one was more feeling of comfort and safety than acutal, visual memory. He remembered a man, tall and strong, but cold and remote. He could see things that seemed like he had lived through; college, dating and some kind of military training, but when he tried to focus on them, the memories skitted away like butter on a hot pan. All he could remember with any clarity is the first tomb he had robbed, the item he had to retireve and the 3 people he had killed in the process. That memory was strong, their faces crystal clear in his head. Just like all of the killing and stealing after that.

Bryce finally fell into a fitfull sleep. He tossed and turned all night, having nightmares that he couldn’t rememeber the next day. When he woke up, the sun was streaming through the windows on the east side of his bedroom. He stretched, threw the blankets back and made his way to the bathroom. Even though he lived alone, he closed the bathroom door and locked it. He examined his naked body in the full length mirror that was on the back of the door. Not for the first time, he was surprised at how well toned he was for being his age. He’s tall, over 6 foot 3, his stomach still held it’s washboard firmness, his dark blond hair was full, wavey and was trimmed neatly just above his ears and his green eyes are still striking and sharp. His arms were muscular with out being bulky, his shoulders are wide and his chest sports just a little bit of blond hair. He was tan, for the most part. Definitly not pasty white and sparkly…hahaha He looked as if he played professional baseball or was a career military man. Fit, yet not young anymore he thought with a sigh. He relieved himself, brushed his teeth, and then went back to his bedroom to find some clothes.

Chapter 2

Laruen woke in the dark, cold tomb with her head throbbing. She layed there for a minute or so, trying to collect her thoughts. Carefully, she reached up and felt the back of her head. She felt dried blood in her hair. “Great.” she thought. “Just fucking fantastic. Not only did I botch the job, I got hit in the head in the process.” She sighed out loud, the action causing a shooting pain down her back. “Awesome. He stabbed me too, did he?” She felt around her back, but didn’t find an open wound. “What the….” Then her fingers brushed across something square, metal and cold. Not an object usually found on the dirty floor of a tomb. She absently put it in her pocket and picking herself off of the ground, she wandered unsteadily back out of the tomb into the rainy night.

The Archilolgist camp was still quiet. She snuck past the silent tent cluster to her jeep which she had hidden behind some growth. Since she had arrived and intended to leave under the cover of darkness, she hadn’t worried about hiding her means of transportation to much. Still, she held her breath when she turned over the engine. It was an older jeep, but the engine purred to life with out any problems or noise. As she drove back to her hotel, she thought about the man she had seen in the tomb. She had caught just a breif glimps of him before he had turned off his flashlight. He had the pendant, she knew that for sure, but who was he? Who was he working for? Was he just a tomb robber with no idea of what exactly he had? She doubted that last thought. The man moved with precision and grace. He knew what he was doing and what he was after. Her thoughts lingered on this mysterious man the whole 45 minute drive back to civilization. Once back at her hotel, she took a long warm shower to shake the chill from the rain. When she got out, she inspected her head as best as she could. Just a minor bump-no permanent damage. He had done this before. Hm. But why didn’t he just kill her? Another mystery. Feeling the bump on her head reminded Lauren of the object that was digging into her back as she lay on the tomb floor. Digging her pants out of the pile of clothes on the floor, she located the square metal object. It was an old fashioned lighter, the kind with a flip lid and refillable fluid. It was silver and had the initals BRM III engraved on the face. On the back there was an inscription:

*not sure where to go from here, but I'm thinking on it....

Wow

2009-04-28T10:41:00.001-06:00

Okaaay. So it's been a while since I posted here. O.O I've been busy, okay? :o)

I have made a few posts on my myspace account. You can check them out here

So umm. Yeah. That's it for now. I should probably do some work related things today. At some point.
When I feel like it.

The Sorted Tale of Super Porportions

2007-08-23T15:15:00.000-06:00

*Written By: A Colaboration of Twisted Minds (anj, mal, mich and maria)*

When their eyes met across the room, they both knew how the night was going to end. Gargamel had never seen a woman as beautiful as Cinderella. So what if she was covered in pig poo and smelled like last weeks chamber pot. She was gorgeous and, by the look in her eye, ready for some physical lovin. Gargamel stole a glance at his wife, Wonder Woman. He had been so attracted to her in the beginning. She used that Lasso of Truth like an extra appendage of her body and she knew how to rock it dirty. Lately, however, she seemed to spend a lot of time swimming. Gargamel could feel his man juices rising when he glanced back at Cinderella. She made a small motion to follow her when their eyes met again and she slipped out of the room quietly. Gargamel spared another glance at his wife, she was busy chatting it up with Aqua Man, so he followed Cinderella out into the hallway.

With her husband now out of sight, Wonder Woman began her routine of airing their dirty laundry to AquaMan. He had been her closest confidant for ages, almost like a big sister to her, as he’d say. She expressed her longing for someone worthy of her and her lasso quite often it would seem, as she’d belittle her husband nearly every time he’d step out of the room.

“His powers say nothing about him. They aren’t super in the slightest” She rolled her eyes before taking another bite from her hot dog, “ He can’t fly, and he surely can’t make my heart fly anymore”.

Aquaman listened with intent. “Have another drink.” He said as he held up a glass of Ocean water and Gin “and then we shall go for a swim. We can ride on a seahorse if you’d like”.

“No”, she said fed up. “I’d rather ride something else. Come on Aqua, let’s just try it out. To hell with your supposed fish fetish. Tell me you wouldn’t want a night with Wonder Woman”.

She staggered closer toward him holding the lasso, awaiting his brutally honest reply to her idea.

Wonder woman could feel her anticipation and her yearning to touch Aqua man....but she was afraid of his answer....slowly Aqua man walked over to her and gently put his hands on her face.....he leaned in and whispered...for you my friend I would do anything.....he kissed her red lips as if he was hungry....she felt the kiss spark through out her entire body so fierce that her legs gave way...he quickly grabbed her body and embraced her....he had secretly wanted her for a long time but he knew Gargamel would be furious and wouldnt share......

mean while in the hallway......

Gargamel quickly followed Cinderella.....he grabbed her by her shoulder and spun her around....Cinderella looked at him with tears in her eyes.....I am not worthy of your gaze....just look at me....i know Wonder Woman loves and adores you, but i cant help how my heart feels....and i am hideous....as she said her last work Gargamel gently kissed her.....Cinderella pulled back quickly...we cant, you musnt, what if....and she then kissed him back with such passion....she wanted this...she needed this....she had to have him...as she slowly kneeled down.....

. . . . . one thing led to another and before anybody knew what was happening Aqua Man and Wonder Woman were deep in the throws of passion and Cinderella and Gargamel were getting there swerve on too. It was the most amazing moment of passion any of them had ever felt.

A few weeks had passed by. Wonder Woman was at home cookin up some stew when she suddenly realized she was "late". No, not late to work but the dreaded "late" that meant nine months of throwing up and getting fat. She went to the doctors office the next afternoon only to find out her worst fear was true, she was pregnant. Then is occurred to her, the timing was just right, who was the baby daddy????!!?!!?! It could be Aqua Man, it could be her wretched husband Gargamel. She decided the only thing she could do was take Gargamel and Aqua Man onto the Maury Povich show entitled "I cheated on my husband with a member of the Justice League and now I don't know who the father of my possibly illegitimate child is". So, she told Gargamel that she was pregnant but told him nothing of the affair. The months past and finally Wonder Woman gave birth to a baby boy. Gargamel was thrilled and had many thoughts of staying with his wife and leaving Cinderella alone for good. He wanted to try and make his family work.

Wonder Woman told her husband they were taking a trip to New York to visit her mother, and boy was Gargamel surprised when he was being pushed onto the Maury stage in front of the world. Wonder Woman told her sob story to the audience and told her husband of her infidelity. He was crushed, and also confessed all of his wild, steamy nights spent with Cinderella. And then the time came for the paternity results. . . . . Gargamel, you are NOT the father. Gargamel ran off stage sobbing. Aqua Man, you are NOT the father! "WHAT!?!?!?" screams Wonder Woman. Aqua Man runs off stage yelling at Wonder Woman calling her a whore. Wonder Woman is speechless as Maury is backstage asking her if she knows any other possible fathers. It is then that she confesses to sleeping with Spiderman, Superman, Batman and Prince Charming. Maury promises to help her contact the other possible baby daddy's.

Gargamel and Cinderella move in together and start a family of their own. They are very happily living in the evil step mother's house. Aqua Man is now single with an ad out in the local paper "SWM (single, wet, male), loves long swims in the ocean and taking candle lit baths. Seeking honest woman, super powers a plus".

As for Wonder Woman, she still has yet to find her son's father. Spiderman, Superman and Batman were all tested and were not the father and Prince Charming won't return Maury's calls.

And they all lived DYSFUNCTIONALLY EVER AFTER. . . . .. THE END!!

The Game of Life

2007-08-17T07:51:00.000-06:00

Sorry it's been ages since I last posted, guys. Life is so busy right now. I'm back at work 32 hours a week, and when I get home at night, all I want to do is play with the Crib Lizard. Man, he is the coolest! I love hanging out with him. I love making him smile, dancing around with him to oldies, and I love it when he falls asleep in my arms. Being a mom is, hands down, the best thing that I have ever been in my entire life.
There are so many things I want to talk about and tell you all, but this post would be HUGE, so I'm going to try to update you with out being long winded. Wish me luck..

Like I said before, I'm back at work 32 hours a week. Basically, Monday thru Thursday, 8 hours a day. We hired a nanny to watch Jay Monday thru Wednesday, and then the Hubby's mom takes him on her day off, Thursdays. She and Grandma Armijo spend the whole day with Jay! They go for walks and they play outside. Grandma A has told me over and over how much she looks forward to Thursdays. I think its good for Jay too. He gets to be with family all day and I know he doesn't want for anything while he's there. Heck, Dave's mom is as bad as mine is for jumping when Jay makes a noise. LOL The nanny we hired is such a sweetheart too. She's 19 and she currently works (well, its her last day) at a day care center. So she probably knows how to take care of the little guy better than I could. :o) Its going to be tight, money wise, but I think she is worth it.

Speaking of being worth it, I wonder if my job is anymore. I don't feel appreciated for all the things I do there. I walked into the office last Thursday and there were a couple of projects that got dropped in my lap right away. My boss even told me that I was "the only one who could do it". You would think that if I was so damn important, they would show a little love every now and then. Now we have a 60 year old office snitch, who the bosses have made "hall monitor". Like we are in fucking Junior High or something. Then they hired back a woman (again, an elderly lady) who quit last year and ran off to Arizona after marrying her great love. (Who had abandoned her years before when she got really sick and was in the hospital. Nice man, I'm sure.) Anyways, she gets a whole new position created for her and an office. I've been there 5 years, even answered questions over the phone while I was on maternity leave, came back early and they still treat me like I'm a newbie. So here's my plan. When I go back to full time, or even maybe before if they try to promote someone from below me seniority wise, I'm going to talk to my bosses and let them know I want to advance in the company. I want to grow into a better position. I wouldn't even mind trying my hand at being a manager. I'll take business classes or whatever, if they help pay for them. :o) If they say no, then I'll start looking for another job. I'm a smart person, I have excellent office skills, so I think I would be an asset to any company I work for. If this company isn't smart enough to see that, then they are going to loose me. What's sad is I think some of the other girls would walk with me. Princess Maria for one. I think Kurtis would too, although I can't really count him as one of the girls. He's too buff to be a chick, although he can act a little fruity sometimes. LOL

Slutty Hoe and Lord Dragon are getting married!!! I am so super pumped about that. I guess I can't call her Slutty Hoe no more, though. She in no longer Slutty nor a Hoe. Hmm. New nickname time. guess I could call her Lady Dragon. Then I would have 2 LD's. :o)

Life is really great right now. I feel like I'm the happiest I have ever been in my life. Things are great with the Hubby. He has really stepped up to the plate. He's wonderful with the little guy and he seems to be more attentive to me too.

I do my best to treasure the time I get with my family and let go the stresses and worries of life. I know, though, that life has to have balance of good and bad times. You must except the bad times because it helps make the good times be that more special.

Okay, well, I tried to keep it short, but I didn't do very well. Sorry, y'all. I'm silent for months and then write you a novel.
Anyways, here's a picture for you guys. Love ya. I'll try to write again soon.

Sleep? What's That??!

2007-05-22T09:13:00.000-06:00

Hi guys. Sorry its been a while since I updated. Life has been really......busy, different, wonderful. Take your pick of those descriptions because its all of them. :o)
I am absolutely loving being a mom. Even when he is screaming (angry dragon™ as the Hubby likes to call it) I look at him and I'm filled with a sense of wonder and awe. I still can't believe that I helped create him. I find it hard to believe that something that beautiful and perfect is mine. I hope that feeling never goes away.
He is doing great. He really doesn't scream that much. Usually just in the evening time for some reason. He is sleeping about 3 to 4 hours at night now and drinks about 4 to 6 ounces of milk at a time. (what a little piggy!)
I ended up getting a boom box (are they still called that?? anyways..) for his room that has a CD and a tape player. The CD player is for these awesome Cd's Leah sent him that are Metallica and Pink Floyd done lullaby style. Man they are cool! (he seems to dig the Floyd one more then Metallica but ah well. I like them both.)
The tape player is for the Wee Free Men as read by Stephen Briggs that was sent to him from Dave and Wendy in England. It is too cool as well! I love how Mr. Briggs does the accents of the Feegles! James seems to dig that as well. We sit and rock, eat and listen to the story of Tiffany and the Feegles. You can find what the hell I'm talking about here.
Anyways, he will be up again soon, so I'm going to try to squeeze in a load of laundry really quick. I love you all and I'll try to update again soon. Until then, here is what the background on my computer is right now:

Is that cute or what? :o)

Past Due

2007-04-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm only over due by one day. But still, it feels like FOREVER! The anticipation is really getting to me! I don't know what this is going to feel like, and I'm not sure of when it is real labor and when its not. All my reading and studying are doing me no good. I'm still nervous and just plain ready to have this baby.
Anyways, I just wanted to write a short update to you all today and let you know the Crib Lizard has not shown yet. I have a doc's appointment tomorrow and I will ask her to check my cervix and see about maybe inducing this little on on Friday or Saturday. I'll let you know how that goes either tomorrow afternoon or on Thursday. Who knows. Maybe the Crib Lizard will show up between now and then. You can never tell with boys. :o)
*love and hugs*

5 days to go!

2007-04-04T11:38:00.000-06:00

Not like I think the Crib Lizard™ will be on time. His dad is always late, so I wonder if the little guy growing inside me will be the same. My Mom is thinking that the doc's won't let me go too far past my due date because of how big I am getting. She is actually hoping they will induce me on April 13th. Friday the 13th in case you haven't noticed it on the calender yet. The hubby and I talked about it last night on the way home and neither of us really has a problem with having a baby on that day. Hubby has always considered Friday the 13th lucky for him and I haven't ever really noticed the day was either way for me. As far as I can remember, its just another day. Now, I'm not due until the 9th and(if you remember, Cristy guessed the 7th and Slutty Hoe guessed the weekend of the 13th) and I'm due to see the doctor yet again tomorrow, so we will see what she says. The 13th is only 4 days past due, so she may not want to induce me that soon, but I certainly do not want to wait until April 20th. That seems so far away!!

I am getting anxious. I don't think I'm the only one, either. I have been told by at least 5 different people (seriously, no exaggeration) that they have dreamt about me going into labor. Most of them are not family members, but co-workers! Even a couple of the guys the Hubby works with have dreamt about me and my water breaking! I have had a couple of dreams like that, but most of them have been very odd. In one, Lord Dragons step dad was my doc and was delivering my son in a room that had ceiling to floor clear windows so everyone could see what was going on. I have a couple of scary dreams about loosing the crib lizard™ or someone stealing him, but Mom said those are normal. Those are the worst dreams I have ever had in my life. I hope they get better once he is here, but honestly, I don't expect them to. Right now I know where he is all the time, I can feel him move and know he is okay in there. After he is born I will have to learn to let go and trust in God and his Gardian Angel to watch over him when I can't.

The following are a few pictures of the Crib Lizards™ habitat. Thanks to Slutty Hoe, Mom, Dad and LD for all the hard work they put in over the weekend to make his room perfect.

Slutty Hoe will probably be one of the people calling when he arrives. Hsing, honey, I'll have to just email you or post on the forum when he arrives. I don't think my cell phone will call oversea's. :o)
I'm almost there, guys.
*Love and Hugs*

See?! I DO Read the Comments!

2007-03-26T10:35:00.000-06:00

Miss Cristy, Sorry to hear about Bubba! It totally cracked me up the way you described him though. Please give the cute little guy big gentle hugs from me. I'm glad he is okay and is such a trooper for you.

Miss Leah, It would be awesome if you could be here when James is born, but I agree, I really don't want you to actually see him coming out. Hell, I don't want to see it myself. :o) But you are on the list of people to call when he does arrive. Either Mandi will call you that day or night, or I will call you a few days later. No matter what I'm sure you will get to meet him sometime this summer. I miss you, dude. I can't wait to see you!

Miss Yvonne, I would be happy to send you my mailing address, but only if you will send me yours as soon as you get settled. I am beginning to get my Christmas card lists together for this year and I would love to be able to send you and your family one.
I am starting to have some of the practice contractions, although they are not nearly as bad as I thought they would be. I guess anticipation is usually the worst, eh?
Good luck with your move, sweetie. I know it sucks, but hang in there! It will all be over soon and then you can start getting settled in.

Same goes for you Leah. I know you're moving soon too. Hang in there too, and I hope all of you know, I'm always available to chat, rant, cry or whatever to. :o)

This will most likely be my only post this week. I have a doc's appointment early on Thursday, so I will be leaving work early, and then I'm off on Friday, since mom and dad will be down to paint and help set up the Crib Lizards™ Room. I just wanted you all to know everything is still groovy and that I love ya.

18 Days til the Crib Lizard™ is due!

2007-03-22T08:50:00.000-06:00

I was right. The doc has had me coming in weekly starting at about the 8th of March. Which is cool. I get to hear the Crib Lizards little heart beating every Wednesday or Thursday. Awesome! Plus it gets me out of the office about an hour early once a week!
This next up coming week (the 26th thru the 30th) my usual doc/midwife or whatever is on vacation for spring break, so I have to go see a stranger. Luckily, she won't have to violate me. I will just have to do the usual; pee in a cup (which they should make bigger, like kool-aid pitcher size, once the belly gets to big to see over), get weighed in, check my blood pressure, measure the belly, and listen to the Crib Lizards heart beat. That's is basically what my appointments are every single time. Last week I had to have my poonani swabbed with a giant q-tip to test for Group B Strep, which came out negative. Meaning no anti-biotics for me when I go into labor. In fact the doc said yesterday that I could hang out at home as long as I wanted when I started to go into labor and then come into the hospital when I was ready. That made me laugh. As soon as the Hubby knows I'm in labor, we will be in a mad dash to the hospital.
The doc also told me yesterday that the Crib Lizard could be born at any time now and be just fine. In some ways I am very ready for him to be here, but in other ways I'm not. I would like to stay pregnant for just a little longer, even with all the little discomforts, like not being able to sleep well and taking a full 5 minutes to get up out of a chair. I know that the things I feel right now (him moving inside me, the special feeling I get when I rub my belly and talk to him) are mine alone and I won't ever get to feel those things with him ever again after he born. It makes me a little sad. On the other hand, I can't wait to share him with the Hubby. It's a very confusing time!
I wasn't planning on posting about me and the Crib Lizard today. I was going to talk about the little annoyances I have been experiencing, but once I got to talking about him I couldn't stop and I realized I didn't want to relive and rant about the things that pissed me off this week. Its really not worth the stress at this point, you know?
I hope all of you are doing good. Please feel free to post updates on whats up in your world these days in the comments section. I do actually read every single comment you guys leave me and they never fail to make me smile.
*Love and Hugs*

A longer update

2007-03-08T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I just wanted to post today to let you know that everything is still going good, the Crib Lizard™ and I are both doing great. We go into for a check up here in about 2 hours in fact. So far, the doc has me coming in every two weeks. If babyzone.com and other various baby info sites are to be trusted, these bi monthly visits might turn into weekly one's here soon. I can't imagine having to go into the doctor every single week! I have never seen the doctor so much in my entire life all put together! *sigh* It is reassuring to know that the little guy is doing okay with a good heart beat and growing nicely though. He moves all the time now. He is the most active first thing in the morning, right after the alarm goes off. He still moves and kicks thru out the day, but the mornings seem to contain the hardest kicks and jabs. I think the little guy is just running out of room.

I haven't experienced any of the 'midnight' cravings that one always hears about with pregnant ladies. I do wake up in the night, but if I'm hungry I usually just go back to sleep because its easier than getting out of bed and fixing something which would probably wake up the whole house and then no one would want to go back to sleep and I just don't need to deal with that at 3 am. Although I know its coming, it will be so much easier to justify (at least in my head) when there is a little screaming baby.
I don't have any 'weird' or 'strange' cravings either, but I am eating a lot of green chili these days and I'm still hooked on Marshmallow Maties. (A generic brand of Lucky Charms Cereal.) The only things that seem to upset the Crib Lizard™ are pineapples and this funky Lemon pie I had at the in laws the other night. To be fair, I had never had that kind of pie before, ever, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Oranges are okay, but other citrus fruits are out I guess. *shrug* Boys, eh?

I can tell you my temper is harder to control these days. Things that I would have been able to shake off in the past or even ignore now bother me to no end. I'm usually a very patient person, but lately I have had none, especially with people. The hubby is one of the very few people I can stand for long periods of time.
(I could list the people who I do like and who I don't like, but I don't want to offend anyone who may stop by here. Just so you guys know, you, my four glorious readers, are on the 'safe' list. None of you annoy me what so ever and in fact I hold you dear to my heart. I especially want to give a shout out to my German friend Hsing, who has provided very valuable insite thru this whole pregnancy. I will do a 'Thank You' post soon though. I need to. You guys have all been so supportive that I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. You know I love all you guys, though, right? *sniff sniff* Okay, mushy, girly moment over. )
People, like some of the ladies I work with, bother me so bad that I have to bite my tongue just to keep from saying something nasty to them. There is one lady who insists on laughing after almost every single sentence that comes out of her mouth. This like fakey type of laugh. Doesn't she know that sounds incredibly insincere and also is really, really annoying? She also takes forever to answer a simple question. I will go to her for a yes or no answer and will end up at her desk for 20 minutes while I get the entire back story. Honestly, I don't care and I didn't ask. All I want is a yes or no so I can get back to my desk and hide out some more.
Also, I'm starting to worry about who is going to do my job while I'm out on leave. I know its not entirely up to me to make sure that everything is covered and that my bosses should be stepping up to help me out on this since they are not hiring even a temp to cover my duties, but I still feel responsible, so I am typing up notes as best as I can and training the 4 different people they have already picked out for certain things. I can tell you, though, those 4 people are not going to be enough. I still have at least 5 other things that someone will have to do while I'm out and I have no idea who to train on them. What is sad, is neither do my bosses. I try to convince myself that at that point, when the bosses are admitting we have run out of people to train, its out of my hands. I really don't think they know how much they depend on me around here. They are about to get a brutal wake up call.

Oh! Maria seems to think the Crib Lizard™ will be early, while every one else is saying late. Any one want to place a bet? Just a friendly wager, but if I could get my four readers to pick a date it would be fun to see who would ends up being the closest. :)

Thats all for now. I'll try not to leave it so long between posts, okay? Love you guys. *hugs*

A Quickie Update

2007-02-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I just wanted to post a quick picture and update. I'm 34 weeks and healthy as a horse. Funny, I'm getting to be as big as one too! LOL!

I hope you all are doing well, and I'll post a real story or something here soon.
*love and hugs*

The Newest Member of our Family

2007-02-15T15:57:00.001-07:00

My truck died. Well, it still runs, but the clutch is completely gone out of it.
Hubby and I were on the way to work one cold morning and got about half way down the block before Hubby started freaking out and pulled over on the side of the road. At first I didn't understand what he was going on about. "What do you mean my clutch is gone?" "I thought it took a while for those things to wear down and there would be...signs, noises, something!"
Somehow he got it back into first gear, got it turned around and limped it back to our house. While he was warming up his car, the Stang, I hoped over to the drivers seat to see or I guess feel what the hell he was talking about. Sure enough, as soon as I stepped on the clutch petal, it went strait to the floor, no resistance. Now granted, my clutch wasn't the stiffest, but at least it had some kind of feed back to let you know it was working. This was like pushing in a petal that had nothing connected to it at all. Same type of feeling I had before when my brakes have gone out on that truck. You know, I can't help but still love that truck, though. I won't let Dave trade it in. It wouldn't bring in any money anyways, being broken like it is. He proposed to me in that truck. I can't imagine not having it in the family.

In the mean time we were carpooling in the mustang,
and he was having to drop me off at work really early every morning, so he could make it to work on time. We were at a cross roads, though. We need a 4-door for when the Crib Lizard™ arrives. So do we fix the truck right away and still have to hunt for a family car, or do we let the truck sit for a while and we go ahead and car shop. We both had money in our savings, he had a big bonus from work coming in, and he said he could borrow against his 401K. Okay. So total we had about $9500.00 to try to buy something that would be suitable for a family; safe, dependable, and above all not requiring financing thru a car dealer. With the house payment and the impending arrival of our little bundle of joy we could not afford to finance.
When the money arrived we started scounting the Auto Traders. Out of about 100 pages of vehicles, I found 2 that I liked and we could afford. The Huby called and left messages, only one called us back.
The lady said she had another guy coming to look at it for a second time the following day at 4, so we set up to meet her at noon just in case. She could have been fibbing about the other buyer to pressure us, but after meeting her and talking with her, I think that she was telling the truth. Either way I liked the vehicle and the price was right so we made her an offer she couldnt refuse and bought this:

for $5500.00!
And we still have money left over!
Its a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee, loaded with power everything, plenty of room for the Crib Lizard™ and all the paraphernalia that will come with him, plus 2 doggies! I freaking love it!
Plus it runs great and the lady who had it before us took great care of it. It was her baby. Now its one of mine.

I'm doing great by the way. For those of you keeping track, I'm 32 weeks with only about 53 days to go until the Crib Lizard™ is due to arrive!

Update on me

2007-02-02T12:00:00.001-07:00

My ankles have swollen to this unbelievable size. Seriously, you can not even see the cute little ankle bones I used to have. I think the swelling is causing my feet to hurt. Regardless if I'm sitting or standing they ache.

Also, my belly is getting that little dark line down the middle. (I tired to find the exact term for it, but I couldn't! WTF?!)

I'm having a hell of a time sleeping at night. Just getting comfortable is hard to do, and then when I do, I sleep for about an hour before my hip starts to ache and I have to roll over. If I lay on my back at all the Crib Lizard™ starts to move a lot, so I try to limit my sleeping positions to the right or left sides. I figure he should be sleeping when I am. Ha ha ha

Last, but certainly not least, the Crib Lizard™ moves a great deal these days. Before he would move a lot one day, and then he would be quiet for the next couple of days. All this week he has moved tons every single day. It is the most incredible feeling in the entire world. Miss Leah, Slutty Hoe, I can't wait til you have one. Miss Cristy, you already have two beautiful kids, so you know just what I'm talking about. Its amazing. Even those words don't do the feeling justice.

I don't have any new pictures, sorry, Miss Cristy. I'll see if I can get Slutty Hoe to take some this weekend while she is here and maybe post them on Monday.
Hope y'all have a good weekend!

Anticipations and Excitment of a Soon to be Mom

2007-01-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

Leah has a very good point. Fears and Worries are not the only emotions I feel right now, and I do think I should write some of the things that I enjoy or look forward to. Being pregnant isn’t all worries. I have had moments of extreme joy and excitement at the impending arrival of our little boy.

I remember feeling incredibly excited at hearing his heart beat for the first time. The doc had to hunt for 10 minutes just to find it. At first all we heard was my steady heart beating, and then all of a sudden there was this faint, fast little beat on top of mine. It sounded like a train chugging at full speed! I looked over at the Hubby and he was grinning from ear to ear. It was incredible to share that moment with him and to know that yes, there really is a little person growing inside me. I think that was the first moment that it really hit home that I was pregnant. Every appointment since then I have heard his heart beating, and although it has slowed a lot since that first time, it's still reassuring to me to hear it everytime.

Another really neat thing is feeling that little one kick and move inside me. At first I could barely even feel anything, like a flutter of butterfly wings in my belly, but within a month or so, I was positive what I was feeling was the Crib Lizard™ moving and kicking me. I could see some kicks on the outside of my belly! Its a tad disturbing to see my belly flex outward really quick in one tiny spot then return to normal. The little guy used to get shy around the Hubby, so he didn’t get to feel his son move for the first time til about a month ago. Right now, this is what I like best about being pregnant. I love feeling him move all day long and I don’t even mind when the kicks or punches are hard. He has his quiet days too, which I don’t care for, but I guess it’s his way of giving me a little time to rest up for the next batch of internal calisthenics. Yesterday he was very active all day and I think he even got the hiccups for a little while. It’s amazing that he isn’t even here yet and I am already getting used to his schedule and reading his moves. I’m going to miss not feeling that closeness after he is born.

Watching him move on the ultrasound was incredible, too. Its one thing to feel it, but entirely another to see it happen right before my eyes! I got to see him yawn, stretch and kick in the hour or so that was just my mom and I. Then when everyone else came in (the Grandpa's, Grandma Armijo and the Hubby) I let the tech turn the monitor so they could all see. Later Grandma A. told me that the Crib Lizard™ waved, flexed his little arms, and moved lots for them.

It’s hard to put into words the level of excitement I feel towards him getting here. I can‘t hardly wait to look into his little eyes, see his little hands, fingers, feet and toes. He is a little miracle of ours and Gods creation. I look forward to seeing the hubby hold him for the first time. He has very limited experience with little one’s, especially baby’s that new, but I know in my heart he is going to do perfectly fine. I can only imagine the look on the Hubby’s face when they place his son in his arms for the first time. I sometimes wonder if the Hubby will be nervous, if he will get tears in his eyes, or will he just be all smiles and blue cigars.

I look forward to hearing the Crib Lizard™ smile and laugh for the first time. There is nothing in this world like the laughter of a baby. They don’t hold back and they don’t care what people think. I challenge anyone to hear and see a baby laugh and not laugh with them. Last night I dreamt I was blowing raspberries on the Crib Lizards™ belly. He was laughing and giggling so hard and so was I, to the point where I woke myself up laughing.

You may remember me talking about the really vivid dreams at the onset of my pregnancy. All thru the second trimester they seemed to chill out a little, but now they are getting vivid again, and I have to admit, most of the time I dream of the Crib Lizard™. I have dreamt of him talking to me, explaining to me that he wanted to build a VW Bug Convertible. (the hubby being a car guy, agreed to that, but said it would depend on how old he was when he made the request. Grandpa Armijo has a few ‘donor’ bugs that he would probably be willing to part with for his Grandson.) I’ve dreamt about talking to him in baby talk and him talking back in baby talk (also resulting in lots of giggling from both of us) and then the recent raspberry dream. I love those dreams and sometimes I wonder if he is dreaming of me.

Most of all, I look forward to sharing my life with this little guy. I know that life is going to be hard sometimes, and that I’m not always going to ‘like’ being a mother, but I think I will always ‘love’ it, just like I will always love him. This is going to be one of the greatest adventures of my life, although I'm not too 'rosey-eyed' to know that life isnt always going to be easy and care free, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the heavens or on Earth.

I can already picture him getting on the bus for his first day of school, his first girl friend, graduating high school, and getting married. I like to imagine what he will look like and wonder if he will like music like I do, or be a great artist like his dad. I look forward to watching his personality develop. I wonder if he will be a class clown or a serious student. Will he have an imagination like mine or be a little more ‘down to Earth’ like his dad? These are the things I think about before I go to sleep.

So, you see? I'm not all worries and fear. I think I'm more excited than anything else. There is so much to look farward to and I know that with the support of my Hubby and our wonderful family, we will be able to get thru any hardships that may come our way.

Fears & Worries of One Soon to be Mom

2007-01-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

76 days til the Crib Lizard™ is due to arrive and I'm finding that the closer I get, the more scared I become. I keep reading these 3rd trimester articles that give tips on how to know if the labor pains are real or just warm ups, what kind of exercises to do in order to prepare my body for birthing, or what to do to avoid tearing. Tearing!!! Every time I see that word my whole body starts shaking.

They want me to create a Personalized Birth plan detailing how I want things handled during the birth. This 'plan' details everything down to what I want done with the placenta. *shudders* I don't really care what is done with the placenta after it comes out and I sure as hell don't want to see it afterwards. I want to hold my Crib Lizard™, cry because he is beautiful, and then cry some more when I see the hubby hold him for the first time. I really don't want to make all these decisions about what kind of monitoring to have, or whether or not to induce labor. I want a health care professional who knows a hell of a lot more about these things to make those decisions for me. Yes, I would like them to be discussed with me and Hubby before he/she starts poking on me or in me, but for the most part I want them to make the best decisions based on my particular situation because, honestly, if I put any thought into half the things on that 'plan' I start getting freaked out.

I don't know if I want pain meds or not. I would like to avoid them, but what if it becomes to much for me to bear? Does that make me a bad person?
Does it make me a bad mom not to want to fill out this birth plan?
Am I terrible because after I read some of these articles I promptly make myself think of something else because I'm so afraid I literally want to cry?

The only things I really care about on that birth plan are 'Separation'; IE: None, I think I would like him in the room with me at all times if he is healthy enough. Sick Infant; wanting unlimited visitation/holding rights, breastfeeding if possible, and if they have to move him to another facility, I want to be moved with him as soon as possible. (Basically all the options listed.) Oh, and the circumcision to be done in the hospital, please use anesthesia, and no, I don't want to watch them cut on my baby boy.

I'm scared that I won't do as well with giving birth as I thought I would. I'm also afraid of any complications that may arise. This pregnancy has gone almost text book since the beginning and I'm afraid of something going wrong right at the end.

I'm worried that there will be something wrong with him when he is born. What are we going to do if he is autistic or has down syndrome? What if he isn't 'perfect'? What if he is blind, deaf or both? What if he has 11 toes?

I'm worried about the excessive bleeding that I should expect for 4 to 6 weeks after he is delivered. I have gone 9 months with out a period and now I'll have one really big long one to make up for it. Why this worries me after having almost 13 years of heavy periods, I don't know. It just does. I never claimed this post was going to be rational.

I'm scared about how I'm going to be able to cover bills while I'm off on maternity leave. Although I have a pretty sound financial plan worked out in my head, what if something happens that throws that plan into the shitter, like a big problem with the house or something like that? My truck has already died on me and now we have to buy something newer, which we were planning on doing anyways because we wanted a 4 door for when the Crib Lizard™ arrived, but now its something we have to do soon, not something we could take care of when we felt financially sound for it.

I'm worried about what I'm going to do do with the Crib Lizard™ after I go back to work. My boss said they are willing to work with me, and maybe I can drop down to part time until he is old enough to go to a preschool, but will I be able to afford to live like that for a couple of years?

I'm scared about depending on the Hubby for every little thing for a couple of weeks. I have always been so self efficient, never really relying on him for anything other than just love and support. Now he is going to be in charge of dinner, doing the clean up, babying me and the Crib Lizard™, and be the sole provider for our family for a few months. I feel terrible putting all that pressure on him. I'm not worried that he will leave us, but I am worried about the stress its going to put on him. I don't want him to be stressed. I want him to be happy and enjoy being around me and his son.

Ma says not to worry, to lay all my troubles on his shoulders and let him carry the burden for a while, since I get to carry the little one. The Hubby agrees with her. He is incredibly sweet and understanding to even want to do that, but I can't put it all on him. These are my worries and fears and although I may share them with him I could never let them go completely on Hubby. I don't know how to give them up like that and trust in someone else to take care of everything.

I don't want you all to worry about me. (Good lord, there is enough worry in this post to freak out even the most worrisome of worry warts. Please don't add to it.)
I don't walk around looking all worried all the time. Far from. Most of the time I don't even think about this stuff and I'm the same Anj you all know and love. Actually, most of you probably wouldn't even know I was having these fears just by looking at me or spending time with me. I do exactly what I mentioned before, I just try not to think about it or dwell on any of these fears and I can still function normally everyday. I don't lay awake in bed at night and fret over these things. I don't talk to Ma, Hubby, or anyone else about them. Well, not much. I just needed to get these worries and fears off of my chest today and I figured this was the best forum for it.

I know in the end, no matter what happens, that everything will be fine. I'll be okay, the Crib Lizard™ (no matter how he turns out) will be perfect in my mind and all these worries are really for nothing. Does that stop them from creeping up on me every now and then? Of course not, but then I would be worried if I wasn't worried. It's a vicious cycle. :o)

Week 27 of (hopefully) 40

2007-01-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

Damn, my ass is getting big. To be fair, though, there isn’t a part of me that hasn’t grown, so I guess it balances out. Sigh. I'm beginning my third trimester this week. At least I think that's how it breaks down. Babyzone.com says that the third trimester is "from 24 weeks until 40 weeks or 'term'" where as msn.com lists the 27th week as the first week in the third trimester. *shrug* Either way, I'm in the home stretch.

As I'm typing, little James is kicking in my belly. He is an active little guy today. He must have really liked those French toast sticks I ate this morning.

I'm enjoying being pregnant more now than I was in the beginning. I think that's because I know it’s a 'him', I can feel him kick, and I'm getting closer to the end. Ha ha! My emotions have settled down somewhat, and my dreams are a lot less vivid and weird. Although, I still have to be careful of what I watch before bed, otherwise I end up dreaming some twisted, distorted thing involving the MythBusters crew. I love how everyone keeps telling me how I glow and how cute I look, but honestly, it’s been hard for me to be this big. I look at myself in the mirror when I get out of the shower and wonder how the hubby can find me attractive. We haven't had sex/made love in weeks. I don't know if that's because he is afraid to, or he really doesn't find me attractive anymore. The entire time we have been together I have been this skinny little thing and now, as you can see above, I have quite the profile. (As Grandpa likes to say) I know it’s not permanent, and mom keeps reminding me I won't be pregnant forever, it’s just been hard to adjust to.
I'm really looking forward to James getting here. Hubby can then feel like he is more included in the whole experience. I ask him how he is doing with everything and he says he is fine. He really isn’t the type of guy to talk about his feelings, so even if he was feeling left out, I can't say for sure that he would tell me about it. Honestly, I feel like all this attention is on me and he just gets pushed to the side. The hubby is as much a part of this as I am! I try to keep him involved as much as possible; inviting him to the check ups, telling him about things I'm going thru, trying to get little James to move so he could feel it. He has seen my belly move, but he hasn't actually felt it yet. Every time Hubby puts his hands on my belly, James stops moving. Poor guy! I'm sure there will be a lot more opportunities for him to feel his son move in the next three months. Especially if James keeps going like he is today! I just wish there was more I could do to keep hubby involved. I'm looking forward to James arriving so that the Hubby can hold him, play with him, and be more involved with him.
Maybe I should be cherishing these precious few months of having James all to myself. I am not that selfish though, and I want to share him with the world. I wonder if that will change once he gets here.
Anyways.....
Hope you guys enjoy the picture. I have a couple with out my tongue hanging out, but I figured this one was so 'me'. Love you all and hope you all are doing well.

Oh and by the way: Leah, thanks for staying on my ass about blogging. :o) Love you too, girl.

South Western Snow Storm!

2006-12-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

It started snowing Friday December 29th at about 8 am and it hasnt stopped for more than two hours total. Even as I write this, tiny flakes still fall.
No captions because I think the pictures speak for themselves.

My pleasure to introduce you to...

2006-12-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

James William. Thats right, its a boy!!! Below is a slide show of his first pictures. It was awesome to see him on that tiny little screen and see him move as well as feel him. Hubby is tickled beyond belief that he has a little boy on the way. Now granted the lady who did the ultrasound was only 99% sure its a boy, but we are liking those odds.
My parents were there and so were the hubbies, plus him and I, well, it made for a packed little room, but there wasnt a dry eye to be found on the grandma's and the grandpa's were puffed up and very proud. Not to mention the perma grin hubby wore for the rest of the day. (And still has.) She said he looked healthy, heart pumping away and although he moved a lot at first he did eventually settle down enough to wave to everyone.

Today was a really good day...

Clock in the Battery

2006-12-05T13:44:00.001-07:00

I have to give credit to the Hubby for that title. We have this clock in the kitchen that was hung before the batteries were unpacked. I had come across the batteries later that week and took it upon myself to install one in the clock so that it would be working. A few days later, my hubby, who had not had a lot of sleep, noticed and said "Oh! You put a clock in the battery!" I just looked at him and said "Yes, hun, I did. Are you impressed?" Then when it dawned on him what he had said we had a good chuckle over it. I warned him that I was going to use that for a blog title one of these times. He said that was cool as long as I explained why he said that the way he did. So I guess I should stress again that he had not been sleeping well, had been working very hard, so he had a little word dyslexia..Hey, it happens to the best of us. One of my recent favorite examples of this is:

Ha ha ha..drunk cats. Tell me that's not funny. Okay, well maybe its just me, but I laughed loudly when I read that. Maybe its because I can picture my little furry cat drinking beer and trying to get the bottles to stick to wall with static electricity all the while trying to convince the dogs to join in. (Dogs are not mentioned in the comic above, but I know Shelby likes to encourage my two little angel puppies *cough bullshit cough* to cause trouble with him) Otis would be up for it I'm sure, but I think Midnight would take some convincing. If it doesn't involve playing fetch or a butt rub, she really doesn't seem too interested.
Anyways, the comic is called Two Lumps: The Adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch and you can read it by clicking on the colored link. Although the artist/writer doesn't update every day, it is worth a check at least once a week if you have a few minutes to kill. I read a couple of other web comics, which I will be posting links to on my side bar either today or whenever I get around to it.

Hubby tore down the upper part of the back porch wall, so the pictures are already outdated! He moves quick! Personally, I like it better with out the jail motif. The back porch actually feels bigger, even though we really didn't gain any ground space. It looks awesome, so as soon as I can I'll try to get some updated pictures of the back porch posted.

Alrighty, well that's all for today, I think. Its about time for my afternoon snack, although I don't have my milk today, dammit. Ah well. I think I can survive with out it for one day.
Oh and speaking of the Crib Lizard™ I feel him/her moving all the time now. Not constantly, but mostly in the evening after I have been relaxing on the couch for a bit. I had some chocolate cake last night and about 10 minutes after finishing that he/she started moving. I think he/she got a sugar buzz!
I hope to end the whole he/she thing by the end of this week. I have a doc's appointment tomorrow, just a check up, and she will help me schedule the ultrasound then. I'm hoping to schedule it for Friday because everyone could make it (Hubby [who is off work, that punk], Mom, Dad, Slutty Hoe, and Momma Judy) and because I cant wait to know what is growing inside me, James William or Alexandria Lynne. I'll keep you updated as soon as I know though!

House Pictures!!

2006-12-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Okay slide show testie done. I decided I didnt like the one I used for testing anyways. This other place is much faster at uploading the photos, uses the same way to upload as the testie one did, and did not freeze up on me once. The testie slide show I used froze up on me almost every single time and completely closed down my net. Grr. But, thru the amazing power of google, I found a better site that does all the same things, but has their poop in a group.

Okay, so with out further ado...
Anj and Hubby's New (to us) House

By the way, there are no pictures of the three bedrooms, or the other two bathrooms, but ah well. You all get the picture, right? Ha ha ha..Get the picture..Woo Hoo! Anj has got her Funny hat on today!

Slide show testie

2006-11-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

If this works then I'm going to use it for my house pics. Hopefully will get those posted this weekend. YAY!

Woo hoo it works! But so far all I can upload is my myspace pics, which you all have seen. Hmm. I will have to play with this more this weekend and see if I can upload from my home computer.
But at least I know it can be done and how cool its going to be. Plus I got to say "testie" again! hee hee

Happy (late) Birthday Blog!

2006-11-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Can you believe this blog was born a year ago, this month? I can’t. I was just checking thru my archives and I see my first post Testie was on November 9th 2005. Wow. So much has changed since then. I had to read thru some of my old posts and comments and I couldn’t help but laugh over this and this. Those are probably my two favorite posts. Although re-reading them I see how I could re-write them to make them better. Ah well.
There are a lot of memories on here that I'm glad I can look thru whenever I want. I can actually see myself changing over the past year and that’s something I have never gotten to experience before.

I also wanted to thank you few who are my loyal readers. You have stuck with me thru all my really shitty days, my crazy days, and my happy days. You few are special to me, more than I can succinctly put into words. With out you and your ever uplifting comments I would feel like just another lonely blogger. You all make this blog special and have kept me at it for the past year. Thank you.

Side note: James took pictures of the house this weekend, so as soon as she emails them over, I will get them shrunk and posted here. Either that or I will create a slide show on myspace so you guys can see it. I wish I could figure out how to do a slide show on here. Heck, maybe I will, since I have a decent net connection at the house now.

Our House...is a very very fine house

2006-11-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I was hoping to post some pictures of our new home (new to us anyways), but being sick all this week, not getting home until its dark and pure lazy-ness has prevented me from taking any pictures though. Not only that, but I have to download the pictures that are already on my camera onto the computer before I can take any more. Work work work. I'll try to get some taken this weekend, though. Yes, I'll take a few of the ever growing belly too. It has gotten a little bigger, and I actually have clothes that fit right, (Thank you Slutty Hoe, Momma, and Motherhood!) which actually helps to accent the belly a bit better than the hubby's big shirts. I was feeling a bit frumpy before, where as now I feel feminine and pretty. I can’t thank Momma and Slutty Hoe enough for that little shopping spree. Now every day I hear how cute I look and I feel so much more comfortable than I was before.

As of today I am 20 Weeks, 144 days til the due date, and almost half way thru the pregnancy. Wow, I can’t believe how time flies. Although, I can’t help but wish to see the little Crib Lizard™, hold him/her in my arms, see him/her laugh, and see the Hubby with him/her. Plus I'm going to be tickled freaking pink (or blue) when we know what we are having. A few more weeks and we will.

The house is coming along nicely. The Hubby got the queen sized spare bed set up last night after finally discovering the missing pieces I have been telling him exist for at least 2 weeks now. He kept insisting, patiently, that there were no such pieces. I have been tearing down and setting up this bed since I was 15 years old, pregnancy memory loss or not, I think I would know what is supposed to be there. Still, he got it together last night and I'll get it all made up and pretty for our house guests that are due in tonight. Oh and he tried to hook up the cable in the bedrooms, but for some reason its not working, so for now, if you stay with me, you will have to live with a VCR and a selection of Movies for your viewing pleasure. Luckily both of the spare rooms have actual lights so we no longer need a TV to help illuminate a room. Most of you will remember the spare bedroom at the other house not even having a light fixture in it. Then the plug-in style lamp we had got a broke light bulb, and of course it wouldn’t have been a standard light bulb, which I had 30 of..oh no. It had to be a special one. And you all know what a procrastinator I am, so it never got replaced. Hell, I dont even know where that lamp is right now.

I still need to unpack some things, like my books. I miss my books. But for the most part we are living very comfortably and have just about everything we need. Life is good right now. Except for both the Hubby and I being sick pretty much since we moved into the house. We had a very thorough inspection before we bought it, so I dont think it’s something wrong with the house, but just the fact that it’s been getting colder outside and we have been pushing ourselves way too hard. We just need some good old fashioned rest. I think we will get our chance next week with the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend. Woo Hoo!

Anyways, I got Maria to take a picture of my belly with my phone so here you go. (By the way Maria says Hi!)

No. I'm not pushing it out, thats what I wake up to every single day. :)

Name was Russel

2006-10-26T13:46:00.001-06:00

Good News! We closed on the house yesterday! I think I may have developed carpal tunnel syndrome from all the paperwork I signed, but I was rewarded with Wendy's afterwards, so I was/am happy. The sellers have even generously offered to have all the carpets cleaned before we move in. Woo Hoo! Of course the hubby was slightly upset about that. He wants to move this weekend and be done with it. Personally, I think its going to take us a longer than one weekend, especially with me being forbidden to move anything in my 'delicate condition'. Okay I totally understand that. I do not need to be carrying heavy things, but good god, would people please stop reminding me that I am so damn fragile? I have heard many times that I should enjoy bossing people around and having them do all the work for me, but you all know I'm not that kind of girl. When the truck has gotten stuck in the mud, (eh hem, Aud, if you are still reading this blog you should remember a situation like that) I am one of the first to jump out, into the mud puddle, to help push to un-stick us. I have moved couches and other various furniture items since I was a young 'en because of my mom's need to rearrange the living room every other month. I'm not used to just supervising and its going to be hard for me not to take a more active part in moving my home. I have no choice though, and since we are blessed with so many wonderful friends who have volunteered to help move us, I have no excuse either.

Dave has seriously gone off the over-protective deep end. It’s gotten to the point where he frowns at me if I bend over too far. He made me hot chocolate the other night so I didnt have to get up off the couch. It’s all incredibly sweet, but too soon! What happens when I AM too big to get off the couch?! That’s when I'm going to need the spoiling.
Also, I wish he would talk to the belly more, but I can see why he doesnt yet. It’s just a little bump. I'm hoping when it gets bigger and starts kicking that he will want to talk to it more. He said good-bye and kissed it when I left for Farmington last weekend, but that’s only because I asked him if he wanted to. It felt incredible for me when he did that, so much I almost cried and I can't pin point exactly why. Maybe it’s because I talk to the Crib Lizard™ all the time and Dave doesnt really acknowledge it more than trying to wait on me hand and foot. Maybe it was one of those "family bonding moments" I keep hearing about. *shrug* Anyways, it was very sweet and rare, but maybe thats why it was so special. I really cant wait to see him with the Crib Lizard™ in his arms. Thats going to be the ultimate "family moment" and it will be hard to hold back the tears.
I think we have settled on names, finally. The boy was easy and we actually knew what it was long before we even got pregnant. I thought it would be neat to name a boy after Dave's grandfather on his Mom's side, James William. Plus that name also pays homage to my dad, and also Dave's middle name. A girl was harder. I think we are having a boy, but its better to be prepared than stuck with "Baby Girl Biesecker", so after much deliberation and rejection, we decided on Alexandria Lynne. I discussed with SH and Momma this past weekend and we liked Alexis, but the Hubby liked Alexandria and I liked it a bit more than Alexis too. Plus think of the nick names. Lexi, Allie, Alex, Al..It just goes on and on. Of Course her initals will be ALB (Albuquerque), but ah well. There are kids walking around out there with worse names. The only thing I worry about is we will need to figure out what we will call her before pre-school. I mean Alexandria Biesecker is kind of a long name for a little one. Although it covers just about all the letters of the alphabet, so she would have a head start on that. LOL We cant start her out as Alex Biesecker, because she might be mistaken for boy. Ah shit. We may have to go back to the drawning board for girls names. Crap. Here I was all happy that we had FINALLY settled it, and now, after some thought, it might not work. Ah well.
Alrighty, well this post has gotten hella long and I have spent most of it talking about the unborn Crib Lizard™. There is a lot of stuff going on with the house and Dave is about at his wits end over it, but I'll save that for the next post, which should be soon.

Belly and House Update

2006-10-16T14:42:00.000-06:00

Yep, that’s my belly. Remember the flat little thing from The initial Preggo Post. I told you it would soon be gone. Replaced with this small little hump I like to call The Crib Lizard™. Have you ever tried to puff out your tummy real big just to see what you would look like pregnant? That’s what I think it looks like right now. Only it’s like that all the time, even when I'm relaxed. I hung out in my black and white tear away pants and a "tank top" yesterday that was kind of form fitting and I caught a glimps of myself in the mirror. I was shocked I looked like that. I guess I shouldn’t be. I mean, I'm growing a person inside me. Also I keep having aches, kinda like growing pains, so it’s not like I should be surprised. Ah well. I'm only going to get bigger. Be sure to keep watching for my infrequent updates and pictures. :o)

The house thing is going good. They are going to do some inspections and then we will know for sure if we actually want the place or not. I am totally tripping out how grown up all this is. I still feel like the person I was in junior high. Sure, I have more control over my gangly body, I shave my pits regularly, and I feel wiser, but to me, I still feel like I'm a kid. Now, when I actually take a moment to examine my life I find myself married, with a little one on the way, and looking to get into a 30 year mortgage, all willingly. What the hell happened? Life, I suppose. No matter how much we want to, we can’t stay kids forever. Then again, would we really want to? Remember that feeling when you first moved out of your parent’s house? I do, like it was yesterday. I remember the sense of freedom. "Yay! Now I can eat Coco Puffs for dinner every night if I want!" (I did too, for a good month) "Yay! No more curfews! I can stay out as late as I want!" (I did that too. James and I used to go cruising in her Duster til all hours of the morning.) The thing is, with the freedom came responsibility. Supporting myself, making sure I got to work and school on time, that I had enough money to pay my bills and still eat Scronic were all part of the freedom package.
Now, I am an adult. I have been supporting myself for several years, my parents, as wise and supportive as they are, have no more say in how I live my life. I always listen to their advice and try to do the right thing for the hubby and me, but at the end of the day, I have chosen my own path. Now I am taking on more responsibility and I feel like I am loosing a bit of that freedom I hungered for and enjoyed so much when I finally got it. Am I sad? Sure, a little bit. Sometimes, I wouldn’t mind going back to being 18 and mostly free. But would I really trade everything I have to do that? Probably not. I do love my hubby and I am thrilled to be having his/our baby. I can’t wait for The Crib Lizard™ to get here. I'm excited to move in to our first home of our own. I'm not that excited about the house payments, but we will get thru it somehow.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a very rambling type of way, is that in the month of May, we shall play all day...oh sorry. Got off on a rhyming thing there. What I'm trying to say...eh hemm..is that although I'm tripping out over being a "grown up" I'm happy about it too. I'm entering in the next stage of adventures and I'm actually looking forward to it. I know it isn’t going to be all roses and walks in the park, but I think it will be exciting and rewarding.

I'll let you all know when I know when/if we are moving. Also, I'll post another pic of the belly when it gets a little bigger. (Probably not for a couple of months at least)

Hairy Portal

2006-10-04T15:55:00.000-06:00

Wow, my title is kind of nasty. I wonder if it will come up under some nasty porn searches. Hmm. Guess if I start getting strange comments from people who don't normally comment, then I will know. :) I think I'll take the chance. I actually got it from a show I watched last night. No, it wasnt a porn movie. The show was called the "Great Build Off" or something like that. It was about this engineer and 8 other guys who built a Luis and Clark style fort/cabin for this retired police chief guy. He showed how they carved the timbers, laid down the dimensions for the house, made windows and doors, etc. Honestly, I was reading Wintersmith at the time and not paying too close attention. However, towards the end, when they were putting up the door, the host said the words "hairy portal" and for some reason, they broke thru my concentration and I almost rolled off the couch laughing. What the host was talking about was their bear skin door on the front of the cabin. It was, indeed, a hairy portal. What I kept thinking was 'hairy portal' would be an excellent porn name. Especially for a gay man with a particularly hairy ass or a girl who just doesn’t want to shave her poonani. Anyways, there is a little view into my twisted little brain. (By the way 'hairy portal' still makes me giggle like a 6th grader with a newly learned bad word)

I'll post a picture of my belly in the next few days, I think. It has grown some and even a couple of my co-workers commented that I am beginning to show. Wow. I can’t believe I'm in the second tri-mester already. The dreams have gotten somewhat less vivid. Either that or I have just grown accustomed to them. No more morning sickness. Actually, I'm eating a good three full meals a day and even snacking a little in between.
The Hubby and I have been house shopping. That’s been fun and I think we may have found one we like. The only problem is we haven’t looked at that many yet and we wonder if we should look at more before we decide on this one. I really loved it the first time I walked thru the door though, so I think it’s the one I want. I'll keep you updated on that too. :)

On the Lighter Side

2006-09-28T11:20:00.000-06:00

I present, for your reading pleasure, Hsing's Guide to Pregnancy
Parts are funny and certain parts made me cry because they are so damn true. At least for me they hit home.

Thank you, Miss Hsing, for writing this honestly and for letting me link to your wonderful guide. *big hugs* for you and your little one.

Spongebob Grumpy Pants

2006-09-28T10:07:00.000-06:00

Not a particularly bad morning for me, so far. I did have to sit in a 45 minute traffic jam because people in Albuquerque have yet to figure out that two objects of mass cannot occupy the same space at the same time. It could have been worse though. A friend told me about an 8 hour traffic jam he had to sit thru once. At least it wasnt that bad, although I was still a little late for work. I had left my cell phone at the office last night, so I couldnt even call the boss to let her know I was running late.

I had a great night last night. The hubby and I heard the heart beat of our little crib lizard, which was totally awesome. It sounded like a little freight train chugging away at full speed. I thought I would cry when I heard it, but I didn't. I wanted to laugh, but every time I giggled, she would have to spend 5 minutes trying to find it again, so I tried to stay really still. Dave was amazed at it too, I think. He is just so awkward sometimes. He didnt come stand by me or anything. He just sat in the little chair they had in the exam room and grinned. Ah well. I should be happy he was there at all.

So why oh why do I feel like being a grumpy, whiney, crying bitch today? Hormones? Overly tired? *shrug* Wish I knew. I really just want to crawl back into bed and not come out til the weekend. I dont want to be alone in bed either. I need a warm body next to me. If I went home right now, the warm body would most likely be a combination of Otis, Mid and Diablo Blanca (Aka. Shelby). I can’t go home though. Last week in the month is too busy for me to take time off because I'm feeling anti- social.

I'll just take this as one of those days where no matter what happens I'm just not going to be able to see the silver lining. Hey, I can't be Miss Pollyanna everyday. Good grief, I would have to kick my own ass.

What the hell did I do?

2006-09-26T09:20:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday I finally wrestled the Hubby off of the computer long enough to check my email and the following is what I found:

Dear Angie,

I am writing you to let you know I will not be bothering you or your husband any more. I have always tried to be a polite and courteous guest at your home, but I think that there has been some kind of miss understandings. Over the last couple of months, even before you were pregnant, I started to notice how you liked to argue with me and my views. I am not a “right and wrong” kind of person; there is always a grey. There is more than one way to do things correctly. That’s what keeps us from being Nazi’s. You may have missed that I never put your ideas down, but am an individual and have alternative ways of seeing and doing things. I have always respected others ideas because that is what makes individuality great and much can be learned that way. I used to think that you were the most understanding and sweet person, but with in the last months you have proved me wrong. Now I feel like I am put down and attacked by you. That is not what friends do, especially when you call them family. I gave you a chance to come clean with your problem with me, but I don’t think you had the balls. You would rather play games with me and hurt me to drive me away. I can hear the pleasure in your voice when you turn me away and it makes me feel like you think I am a “cousin Kenny”. When you play games with me it is totally unfair because I can not defend myself or my actions, which is most likely a misunderstanding. I know you can be a good friend still but if you would rather have me gone I just wish you could have come clean. If you want to talk shit about me do it to my face. I might respect you for it. Even with all the shit I have been through I never take out my frustrations on the innocent. If this is what you are doing I don’t want a part of it. I hope you and Dave have a nice life. I will not go into anything else because I might regret what I would say after feeling so hurt by my only friends out here, but if I hear that you have bad mouthed me I will defend myself. I have never claimed to be perfect and you shouldn’t either.

Good Bye

The day before he sent this email he had called, and right away asked for the hubby. I told him "sure, you can talk to him; however, he has been sick all this week so this isn’t a good weekend for you to come out." I did not tell him this to be mean or nasty; in fact it was not a lie at all. The Hubby had taken a day and half off this past week because he was sick! Art is out at my house every weekend. Slutty Hoe and Lord Dragon can back me up on that. Anyone who has come and stayed with me for the weekend knows this. In fact, Art had been coming out 3 or 4 times a week, often spending the night on weekdays. I have tried to nicely talk to him about this, letting him know that life is changing for us, and that means he can not make his visits as frequent as he has been. At first, he didnt listen. I think because I was the one doing all the talking. Then the hubby finally said something to him about it, and Art cut his visits down to just the weekends. Well, I'm sorry, but I grow tired of having someone out at the house every single weekend. Sure, visits are fine once in a while. In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing Slutty Hoe and LD in a couple of weeks. However, I need a break, and having Art out every single weekend is not a break. He does not like it when I tell him, "No he can’t come out", it makes him cry and all of a sudden I'm a bitch. I have to tell him no if I dont want him to come out (and I do it nicely, you all know me) otherwise he calls, and if we dont pick up, he doesn’t leave a message and comes out anyways. One night, on a Wednesday earlier this month, he called to see if he could come out, I told him it wouldn’t be a good night since the Hubby was working late. (Again, a true statement.) The hubby and I agree that Art does not need to be out at the house when the hubby isn’t there. Art actually told me that he was coming out anyways because he wanted to go for a drive. When the hubby did get home from work, I told him exactly what Art said and that if he had the nerve to knock on our door, I was going to tell him to go home. I felt like I was back in the 50's and had no say in what happened in my household. The hubby and I have a partnership, we talk things over and both of us have a valid opinion. Art wasnt treating me that way. Thats why when he called on Saturday he asked for the hubby right away. He thought he could side step me by asking the hubby if he could come out. HA. I'm smarter than that and cut him off at the pass. The hubby did say it sounded as if Art was crying when I handed the phone over to him.

I feel like Art has taken advantage of our hospitality long before he wrote this email, yet, from the way he writes it, I'm the evil one. Honestly, I have never made a full grown man cry before. For christsakes he is almost 30 years old, doesn’t have a job, lives off of his parents, then comes out to our house and mooches off of us, while talking shit about the very people who support him!! The Hubby feels just the same as I do, we have had long discussions about it, however, the hubby can walk on egg shells around poor fragile Art, where I am sick of it. I shouldn’t have to mind what I say in my own house. I shouldn’t have to baby a near 30 year old BOY, when I have an actual baby of my own on the way.

Art has said before that he might be bipolar. After reading about it, I hope he isn’t, but then some of the symptoms sound a lot like him so maybe he is, although I have never seen him like this before. If he is then he needs to go see a real doctor, and not just an alternative medicine person that puts your feet in a machine to suck all your toxins out thru your toes. Bi-polar is a serious problem that requires a serious solution not some nut bag sucking your bank account dry with "cures" with a mixture of 10 different "vitamins".

The Hubby says I need to delete this email and just let it go and I think I will. I just wanted to vent a little on here first. I felt unjustly attacked by someone who I thought was a friend. I have never claimed to be perfect. Actually I remember an old post of mine where I actually say that I know I'm not perfect and that I dont ask perfection from others. Although this email did make me question if I have become some super bitch since getting knocked up. If I had, you guys would tell me right?

Anyways, I also wanted to let you know, Slutty Hoe, that you dont have to worry about Art coming out to the house when you come visit anymore. I thought that, at least, would make you smile.

Slap My Ass and Color Me Happy

2006-09-20T10:18:00.000-06:00

I met the lady who is going to take over working with The Bitch in Santa Fe™ yesterday and I think she is going to do great! She has been in this type of biz for at least 10 years now and has dealt with people like The Bitch™ before, so I'm really excited to see what changes she makes. If, for some reason, the position becomes available again, and my lovely bosses try to push it back on me, I have decided that I will demand a lot more money or quit. I can not go back to working with (NOT FOR) The Bitch in Santa Fe™ unless I'm making way more money than I am now. At least with a bigger paycheck I could buy more Jeager to drown out the memories of having to work with her.

Oh! And while changing my links on my sidebar, I found out one of my favorite bands Fun Lovin Criminals has quite a few albums available besides the one I love to play over and over. So I had to put a few of their other albums on my "to buy" list on Amazon. Oh Happy Day! You have no idea how long I wanted more from them, wondered what happened to them, and now thanks to the internets, I know! I just needed to get off my lazy ass and look. I guess the are really popular over in the UK and tour there all the time. FUCK! Just another reason why I want to hop a plane to England.

Oh, and a friend of mine online made this cool ABC's of pregnancy post on her live journal blog. I'm going to ask her if I can post a link to it on here, because I think you all would get a kick out of it. I loved they way she wrote it, making me laugh out loud in places and cry at others. Whenever I read posts from my friends, I realize just how shitty of a writer I am, but I keep plugging away because I love to do it. Just like singing. Those of you who have heard my voice, know that I'm not winning American Idol any day soon, but I love it, so just crank the stereo louder to drown me out.

Sheesh

2006-09-14T13:25:00.000-06:00

Hey, my loyal readers...Its not Friday yet!! But I have to say I am flattered at the requests for a blog post. You love me, You Really Love me!! Okay, Sally Fields moment over.

Well, lets see, I promised an update on how I was feeling about this whole parenting thing. I have thought a lot on it and I don't think its the parenting part that has got me worried. Its the whole being pregnant thing. My body feels out of control, my dreams are out of control, and I feel "different". Not like the normal "me" at all. I wont go into details, but all my body functions are screwy. I feel extremely horney one minute and the next I feel like I never want to be touched again. Hopefully all this will pass when the baby comes. I mean for the sake of pete, other women have passed this trial, surely I can too. I every bit of a bad ass as they are. But I think the pre-pregnancy information is sadly lacking. I feel like its some sort of secret society that just gets sprung on you when that little blue line appears on the pee stick. Well, I'm sure Miss Hobbit would have shared her infinite Mommy knowledge, had I known at the time what questions to ask.

I think I'm going to enjoy being a parent though. I can not wait to meet my little one, see what he/she looks like, get to know their little personality. I look forward to trying to teach them right from wrong, good from bad, and protecting them as much as I can with out smothering. (Ever notice that "smothering" is made of the word "mothering", with an additional "s". Hm. Interesting)

I really don't think I want to be pregnant again, though. I'm so disappointed in myself for it too. I always figured I would love it, feeling that little life growing inside me. Knowing that, for 9 months, its just me and him/her. Maybe once I get further along I will feel that way. Right now, however, I just want them to get here so I can have my body back. Its been mine for so long that I am having a terrible time sharing.

Instead of calling the baby him/her or it, I'm just going to name it The Crib Lizard. I heard that the other day and it cracked me up, so since everyone else on here has a nickname, the little person growing in me might as well too. Crib Lizard. Very southwesterny..

My dreams, whoa. Any of you women out there thinking of getting pregnant, beware. Your dreams are vivid every single night. I have not had nightmares where I was actually afraid since I was a kid, until the past few months. Mass murder in New York, a man made of fire and this poor Chinese chick had to sacrifice herself to him. Not to mention my big black lesbian lover. *shaking my head*
Once again, all in the joys of parenting.

Note: I wrote this in a hurry at the end of the day so if there are spelling mistakes, well bite me.

Yet Another Friday Post. What a lazy bitch I am.

2006-09-01T09:48:00.000-06:00

I have just noticed a pattern on my blog here. I do most of my postings on Friday. Hm. Which then led me to ponder why. The only answer I can think of is I actually do work through out the week, then once Friday hits, I'm burned out. I'm ready for the weekend to be here and I am done working. Part of the burn out comes from this job. Its stressful all the time. Especially since I began working with (not FOR) The Bitch In Santa Fe™. Fortunately, that is not going to be my problem for very much longer. The poor soul who is going to take over for me starts on Tuesday. (Since we are all off on Monday! Woo Hoo! Go Labor Day!) The other part of it is I think I am really getting sick of this job. Not only because of The Bitch In Santa Fe™, but because I feel like my employers do not actually care about any of us employee's. Which, if true, is a piss poor way to run a business. Think about it. If all you have is managment, then who does the "grunt" work that actually keeps the company running? Honestly, my bosses have no clue what it is I do all day, and I am the only one in the company who does it. They should feel damn lucky that I am such a good employee with a good work ethic. Otherwise I would be able to just walk out of here and never look back, regardless of the shit creek I would leave them floating in. But, I can't do that. Not because I care about my bosses or my job, but because I base a lot of my own self worth on how well I do my job. So if I just quit, then I would feel like I let myself down.

Ha ha. I fooled you! You may have stopped by here last Friday and saw the same lame post from the previous week, then today, lo and behold here is a brand new lame post. You may have thought to yourself, how did I miss it?! Well, I fooled you. Instead of publishing this last Friday I saved it as a draft. We were having a wicked thunderstorm and the computers kept going down so I kept on saving just in case the computers died before I finished what I wanted to say. Like this post was going to win a Pulitzer. In fact today is ~~Monday~~Tuesday, even though the date above the title will show it to have been published on Friday.. What a sneaky bitch I am. Sneaky and lazy.

Alright, so I have established that it is in fact Tuesday when I finished writing and published this. Its actually 4:04 in the afternoon. Which means I am about 24 minutes from leaving this cubie to make my way home. I cant wait. I have not heard from The Bitch In Santa Fe™, but thats not surprising seems how she is in France, probably still not shaving her pits. Maybe they have a special cream to cure ugly bag of skin syndrom. If anyone can do it, it would be the French.

Preggo update. I think the morning sickness has passed. I didnt heave today and I was able to eat my breakfast burrito from La Hacienda right when I got to work. Now granted I had to make a special trip just to go get it, I had to smell it in my truck for a good 30 minutes and I was almost late to work because of it, but oh it was so worth it. I love thier Breakfast burritos. When I worked near by them I had one every single morning. In fact, I ate there so much that when my birthday came around, the nice lady who worked the drive up window gave me a birthday card with a 20 in it. Probably thinking I would spend it on burrito's, which I did. I wish they had one closer by. Ah well. Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which gets fuller faster, right Dad? Always full of words of wisdom, my dad. Oh and my belly is a little bigger, but not big enough to warrent a picture yet. Maybe later. Right now it just kinda looks like I got a really big gas bubble. I STILL have a nasty bruise on my arm from where that Vampire in the blood testing department took 4 pints worth of samples of my blood. Its been a good 2 weeks and I still look like I have a heroine addiction. They didnt even give me a cookie and juice. Bastards. Ah well. All part of the joys of parenthood, I suppose. Speaking of, I am developing definite feelings about that, now that the inital shock has worn off. I'll save that for my next post though..Til then Love ya.

Happy Day!

2006-08-25T08:14:00.000-06:00

Its Finally Friday! God, this week has sucked. The Bitch In Santa Fe™ has tried fucking with me non-stop all week and I finally had to tell her off yesterday. That felt really good. :o) Plus the morning sickness has peaked this week, so I have been bowing to the porcelain god every single morning and nothing seemed to make that better except for time. Around noon I can get down a hamburger and some fries, preferably Lotaburger.

Today seems to be better, though and I haven't ralphed once! Plus I just got down a breakfast burrito and its not wanting to make a reappearance, yet! I am cautiously optimistic, though. Alright, enough about my stomachs extracurricular activities.

I received lots of good news this week, so I guess it hasn't been an entire bust. First off, I had my first docs appointment on Wed and the midwife used the word "perfect" several times. That made me feel a lot better, although I had to wait an hour in the waiting room and pay 15 bucks to get violated to get that little bit of news. Sucks to be a girl sometimes. Oh! And I heard yesterday that LA has finally gotten off their lazy, useless, giant asses and hired someone to take over working for The Bitch In Santa Fe™ like they were supposed to do, oh, 4 friggen months ago. Now, when the poor sucker will start and when my duties will be entirely relinquished, I have no idea, but the light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger and it isn't a giant freight train about to run me over.

Our computers and phones are down because of the rain last night and hopefully they will stay that way all day. I dont want to work today, I certainly dont want to do anything for That Bitch In Santa Fe™. But we will see how the day progresses.

Thats about it for now. TGIF, my friends, TGIF.

Brittany Sprears is SOOOO Hot

2006-08-17T15:28:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, I want to look just like her when I am 8 months pregnant. Guess I better stock up on my Cheeto's and Hershy's bars.

Brittany, girl, I know you cant do your usual exercises, however, if you could pry that big ass of yours off of the couch for 10 minutes, a walk would do you some good. You look like Jabba the Hut goes Trailer Trash.

Quick, hide the wookies...I mean cookies. Screw it, hide them both, neither are safe from Jabba the Brittany...

Updated

2006-08-16T14:08:00.000-06:00

Ello, Ello! No I said "Ello", but that's close enough. Would you like to come in, have some tea, meet the missus?........Whoa..totally had a labyrinth moment there..No Worries, I'm all better now. Just be happy I didn't don my grey tights, rat my hair out, and start singing with a bunch of muppets. Hey, you know when you hang out with me, anything is possible.

I would like to direct your attention to the side bar. I have made a few changes, and some updates. One thing you may notice is Slutty Hoe is no longer a contributor. Sorry, Slutty Hoe. You seem to do your blogging on myspace, so I thought I would go ahead and remove you so my profile shows up there again. I know, how selfish of me. I prostrate myself before you and beg your forgiveness. Actually, this is my blog so meh, I prostrate nothing..

Second, I have added a couple of links to the side. I don't know if you all noticed I put up a link to my friend Leah's blog. She is one hell of a writer and editor and one crazy creative bitch. (she would have to be crazy to be my friend huh? Its not like I surround myself with normal people. Normal people suck, then snowball their boyfriends.) I also linked to a kick ass jewelry guy, Paul J. Badali. He carries a wide varity of items ranging from animal themed to Celtic, all of which is beautiful. I have purchased a few items from him and have never been disappointed. Barrie still Kicks Ass as the Official Discworld Jeweler, and Paul Kidby has anything else related to Discworld that your little heart may desire. In fact, if I ever win the lottery, after buying a house, paying off all my friends/family, and starting my World Rally career with James, I would spend at least a grand there. (In UK Dollars, of course)

What else...Oh yeah, my stomach has been doing cartwheels on a daily basis from the time I get up til about 4 or 5 in the afternoon. Ahh..morning/all day sickness brought on by being all preggo and shit. At least I found somewhat of a helper. After trying everything from giving up my coffee to other radical changes in my diet (IE No deep fried foods. OMG this kid is going to KILL me!)I found that peppermint and spearmint hard candies seem to sooth the savage beast that is my digestive tract. Thanks and MAD PROPS to Miss Hobbitt for that suggestion.

Work still sucks cause I still have to deal with that waste of skin, dirty, treehugging, muff diving, old bitch, Bianca. However, I got some good news today that my working with her may soon come to an end. Not in the firery crash, blaze of glory, guns firing, Rambo-esk ending I had dreamed of, but an ending none the less. Good thing too, cause I was on the verge of pretending I work for the Post office and driving to Santa Fe with my AK-47.
Ha. I dont think I even have an AK..I have an SKS. Do you think that would disqualify me from the Postal Service NRA?

Okay, I think thats it for now. See some of you this weekend, and for the others, well see you when I can.
Lots of Love and Hugs from the Anj...

Ode to Toasters (For Leah)

2006-08-09T08:57:00.000-06:00

Walking along with my friend one day
I turned to her and had to say
"why do you treat your toaster so bad?
Call him names, make him feel sad.
All he wants is to toast your bread,
but you go out and get doughnuts instead."
My friend turned to me and quietly stated
"My toaster is my greatest love, he makes me elated.
I only say those mean things to hide the truth,
the doughnuts I buy to pacify my sweet tooth.
In all reality I love my toaster so,
No matter what happens, I'll never let him go."

We continued on our walk, while I contemplated the situation,
Finally I came to the grim resignation,
My friend is a freak, in love with a toaster
But I can't say anything, I had an affair with a coaster.

I hope you liked it Miss Leah. Love you.

"The Story of Smurfette's Nasty Snatch"...

2006-08-03T09:59:00.000-06:00

I wrote this in a moment of boredom here at work and it made Princess Maria Laugh, so I thought in lieu of a real post, I would share it with the rest of you. A real post to follow shortly..(Okay, like tomorrow or Monday)

One day, Handy Smurf was walking thru the forest, looking for smurf berries, when he began to smell something like a pile of dead fish. (Literally he could almost smell the "pile", really! Smurfs have an incredible sense of smell! ) He came around a tree and behold the smell was coming from another Smurf!

"How in the world could a smurf smell like that?" Handy wondered.
Since he was curious as well as handy, he went to go talk to the smelly smurf.
"What the smurf have you been eating, young Smurf? It smurfin smells like a pile of smurfin dead fish over here!" he asked

"Sniff, sniff. There isn't any reason to use such foul language." the smelly smurf said.
"But, for smurfs sake! I'm about to regurgitate all my smurf berries!" Handy cried out
"sniff sniff snort snort. I'm smurfin sorry! Its Gargamel !" the smelly smurf said.
"Gargamel?! Sure, his feet smell like Azrel pissed on his socks and then left them out in the sun to bake, but I haven't ever smelled this strong fishy smell like I do right now! Look! Your scaring away all the forest creatures!!!"
"Gargamel put a curse on my smurf hole! He said anytime I opened my legs it would reek like a pile of dead fish. If I shake my little smurf butt while my legs are spread, fish heads will fall out of my smurfin smurf hole!! What am I going to do?!" the poor little stinky smurf sobbed.
"Well, what's your name? I cant very well smurfing call you Nasty Smelling Smurf. Or Deadfishy Smurf" Handy said
"I'm Smurfette" she said.
"Well, Smurfette, I will help you but can you walk back to the smurf village with your knees together? If I smell any more of your nasty snatch, I'm going to smurfing puke"

So the two smurfs head back to the village. Handy walking about 10 feet in front of Smurfette. Smurfette came waddling the best she can with the knees together. Even still, as she walks by, flowers wilted, trees cringed, and the birds drop dead right out of the sky.

As soon as they made it back to the smurf village, Handy took Smurfette to go see the wise old Pimp Daddy Poppa Smurf.

"Whoa, who smells like an over smurfed hooker?!" Exclaimed Pimp Daddy poppa Smurf
"Sniff, Sniff, Its me o-wise and great pimp daddy poppa smurf! Gargamel put a curse on me, causing my smufing smurf hole to reek like dead fish!" said the smelly Smurfette.
"that's no curse!" Said the pimp daddy poppa smurf. "that's just plain over use! What you smurfin need to do, is go down to the river and wash your stinking smurf hole, you smurfin smurfin smurf!"
"What foul language you all have!" Said Smurfette
"Not as foul as your snatch, so go wash up. I don't want you spreading diseases to my other healthy little smurfs"

So Smurfette went down to the river and washed her nasty ole snatch. While at the river she discovered some vinegar and used it as well. When she got back to the village, she smelled so much better that the other smurfs fell over themselves to get in her smurf pants. Of course she wasn't wearing any, so that made it easy for the other smurfs. In fact, smurfette became so popular that day that she had her brains smurfed out 10 or 12 times!!! She was happy as could be. Everyone loved her snatch again. All she had to do is remember to wash it regularly and the fishy smell never returned.

Moral of the story: bathe regularly and you will get some more often.

Preggo~Its In There

2006-08-01T11:43:00.000-06:00

Mmmmm.....Spaghetti sauce. Yummy, but that's not the Preggo I had in mind when writing the title to this post. I was thinking Preggo as in Pregnant. And yes, yes I am.

I had the hubby stop last night at Walgreen's so I could buy a home pregnancy test. I guess I was a little nervouse about taking it cause I ate dinner first, nice and slow, taking my precious time. Then it was time to have the after dinner ciggy, but instead I went to the bathroom and proceeded to read the instructions for the preggo test. As soon as I peed on the little white absorbent strip, the little cross indicating pregnancy started to appear. I didn't even have to wait the 2 minutes the instructions insisted it might take. Nope, insta-results, which I took as either the hormone levels were high enough to register right away, or a false reading. Since I still have not had a visit from Aunt Flo, then I think the first is true. In fact I haven't bled since Slutty Hoe and Lord Dragon were at my place last. I actually started bleeding the day they left (July 3rd) so yeah, I'm a little late.

This whole thing is surreal. I don't think its actually sunk in yet and probably wont til I see the doc on Thursday. I really hope the hubby will go with me to it. I read a little about what to expect on WebMD and it sounds kind of nerve racking. He has been so sweet that I don't think he would miss it unless he absolutely had to. First thing this morning, before we even crawled out of bed, he asked how I was doing and if I needed anything. That is not how we usually wake up. Then he called just about 10 minutes ago to check on me, see if I had a Doc's appointment yet, and just to say hi and he loves me. AWWWW. I think I'm going to hurl, that's so sweet! Hee hee. He is taking all this so well that I am thrilled and shocked all at once. I don't think I give my hubby enough credit for being a smart, caring man. Well, yeah he is smart and caring, its just not in the usual ways I'm used to, so it took me a lot longer to figure them out for what they are. Now that I understand a little bit better things have been hawsome bodatious and righteously kick ass. Well, better than the way things were at least. :) I feel happier and maybe that's why this happened when it did. Wow, anj, way to wax philosophical today. Next thing you'll be contemplating your navel. Well, for as long as you can see it.

I have to admit, I am freaking a little, but like I said I don't think it has really hit home yet. I cant imagine me all Miss-I-Just-Swallowed-A-Beach-Ball. Of course, the hubby will tell you I don't swallow at all, but then maybe I shouldn't go there on here...LOL

I want to thank all of you, my readers for the kind thoughts and the girly squeals when I called you to tell you last night. (The girly squeals did not come from who I would have thought. IE an actual girl.. But instead came from LD LOL!! But they were the best and make me smile whenever I think about it!!) I will keep you updated on the progress and in fact will post pictures as the belly gets bigger.

Say good-bye to my little belly......say hello to my little friend

Traffic Whoa's

2006-07-18T14:51:00.000-06:00

I have bitched about the traffic on here so much that one may be inclined to think that is all that I ever bitch about. Not true. There is just such an abundance of stupid people on the road here that I could, literally, base this entire blog on them alone. I refuse to do that however, because I don't like to limit myself or my creative abilities. (Or lack there of, which ever you choose) That doesn't mean that there will not be the occasional traffic post, though. I drive at least 30 minutes to and from work Monday thru Friday, and some of the things I see happen almost daily would be enough to stand the hair up on the back of your neck.

For example, yesterday, the hubby and I carpooled. We do this a lot to save gas and mileage on his car. Really, I don't mind. For one, my truck does do way better on gas than the 'stang does. For another, my truck absolutely refuses to be driven like a sports car, therefore taming down hubby's driving "skills". I work directly across the freeway from him, so when we carpool, we turn left on Paseo, when I would normally go strait when alone. When exiting onto Paseo, there are 2 left hand turn only lanes, a middle lane that can go forward or turn left as well, 1 forward only lane, and then 2 right hand turn only lanes. Hubby's work is on the right hand side of the road, when heading West on Paseo. Meaning we were turning left (to go onto Paseo) but we were in the middle lane. (Look back, remember I said you could go forward or turn left in that lane.) Sitting directly to our left was an elderly couple in a Cadillac with California plates. The Hubby, just joking around, I'm sure, said "I hope this lady knows that's a left turn only lane". Then we proceeded to have a lengthly discussion during the red light about how the road and lanes really are not marked that well and what the city should do to fix it. The light turns green and sure enough as we start to make the left hand turn, the old lady in the caddy tries to go strait. Time slowed down. I could clearly see the face of the old dude in the passenger front seat of the caddy and he looks as if he is going to need to change his depends. My headlights were heading right for his door and I could see every wrinkle, every crease, every little bead of sweat that seemed to magically appear on his terrified bald head. The Hubby mashed the breaks while at the same time applying the same amount of pressure to my horn, all the time swearing at the old folks. We somehow manage to squeeze past them, while avoiding getting hit from behind because of the brake mashing and then the old Lady gets past the intersection and stops, right there on the off ramp going onto I-25. *blinks* I don't know if we scared her so bad that she had to regain her composure before continuing on their trip, if she had to wipe up her husbands side of the seat, or if she was waiting for us to come start some shit with her. Either way it was a stupid move, compounded by the fact that a stupid move put her there in the first place.

I did state that the off ramp was not marked that well, however it was marked. There is a HUGE sign, just as you go up the off ramp that tells you which lane is which, then when you get to the top of the exit ramp, there is a couple more signs marking which lanes go where. There is no excuse for not paying attention when you are driving. If nothing else, the line of left handed blinkers, furiously blinking away, in the lane to her right would have been a good clue.

Basically, what it boils down to, is people lost in their own little world, not paying attention to what is going on around them. I see this type of thing way too often on the freeway. When my 30 minute commute turns into an hour or longer because a couple of ass hats decided to trade paint while doing 70 mph, yeah, I tend to get a little pissed. Especially when temps here are reaching the very high 90's and I have no a/c in the truck, other than the air flow I get when I can keep moving. But if the freeway turns into a 4 lane parking lot, well, I'm just fucked.

I see people change lanes with out even looking. I have seen people squeeze into a space between moving vehicles that is barely a car length, causing all the cars behind them to slam on their brakes, only so that one person could get one more spot. Ohhh. Aren't you special! I mean one more fucking spot, when none of us are fucking moving. Give that guy the Asshole of the Day award. I have seen people slam on their brakes, and I mean literally, the car's front end is diving forward, only to change lanes. TO CHANGE LANES IN MOVING TRAFFIC! I don't think I will ever understand that one. I have seen people shoot across 3 lanes of traffic to exit. I have seen people come to almost a complete stop on the fastest part of the freeway, because they want to exit and are in the wrong lane. I have seen people have to swing into the median to avoid hitting the person they were JUST tailgating. Yeah, leave a little space to allow for reaction time.

Speaking of tail gating, I'm sure all of you know the rule of thumb when judging your distance from the vehicle in front of you. 1 car length for every 10 mph, right? Wrong. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what they teach you in drivers education classes, however have any of you ever watched Motor Week or any other shows that test cars? It takes 100 feet or more to stop a vehicle. The average car is 20 feet or longer!! Some do better than others, granted, but most do way worse than that. When looking at your next potential car, don't just look at the 0 to 60 time. Also check out the 60-0 time and measurement, if available. Its quite shocking how long it takes for the average car to make a complete stop. Think about how good your brakes are next time your riding some one's ass. Chances are, unless you are paying attention very closely, you are going to tag that person, next time traffic crawls to a halt. And believe me, it will. Either that, or the person your tailgating might just decide to stop, right there on the freeway, for no other reason than to allow you to jam your hood up his ass so he/she can sue the pants off of you.

Well, it's now 4 pm here and I have to go battle it out on the freeway in about 30 minutes. Sigh. I enjoy my commute, I really do. Especially when I have my GoGear. In the morning, it gives me time to prepare my list-o-things to do for the day. At night, I enjoy being able to go over the days events in my head. What didn't I get taken care of, is it possible that I may have pissed some one off today, and if so, do I really give a skinny rats ass? The only time I don't like commuting is when deranged, clueless, I-am-the-only-person-on-the-road cock bastards try to take me out. That's when I get a little stressed. Thank goodness my application for a concealed weapon hasn't come thru yet, or else the population of the Duke City would be significantly less. ha. I fucking wish..

Slutty Hoe The Squishy Turns the big 2-5

2006-07-13T08:32:00.000-06:00

Awww isn't she cute?! The next line should be, "Yeah she was, but what happened?!" That would have been my usual smart ass response, but the trouble is she is STILL cute! Tomorrow she turns 25, the Big Quarter Century, and she is still as cute as the day she was born. That Bitch. Ha ha ha. Just kidding, Slutty hoe. You know I love you baby.

I don't have many memories from when Slutty Hoe and I were little, but I do remember playing JEM all the time, and singing. Man, we used to sing a lot, especially when playing JEM with Audball. We were good too! Every afternoon, Slutty Hoe, Aud, and I would plant ourselves in front of the TV to watch JEM, memorizing the songs, and discussing vital matters regarding Starlight and The Holograms. Speaking of, we need to get Aud and have a JEM a-thon again.

Whenever we would play "School" or any other game that required one of us to be the authority figure, I always made her be the authority and I would always cause trouble. Be the "bad kid". I would pick on her, press her buttons, and sometimes go out of the way to really piss her off, because, well, at the time I thought it was fun. To be fair to myself, there were times when it felt like she was doing the same thing to me. I guess that's one of the things that siblings are required to do to one another. Test the boundaries, if you will. Once, I caught her reading my diary and I whipped her arms with a necklace chain. I am deeply sorry for that now, and have learned to control my temper better, but at the same time, it really fucked with me mentally, having some one read my private words. Even if it was one the people I'm closest to. The result of that is I have a wicked journal obsession (I think I have close to 30 now) and I never hand write in a single one. The irony of it is that I have an online diary that was created for people to read. Heh.

Once I got my drivers license, we became damn near inseparable. Mom no longer ran errands, we did it, and it was great! We would run for ice cream, usually stopping at Rosinate to drop off a note on the Hubby's car while he was at night school. (He wasn't the hubby at that time though.) We would drive to the dump together after doing yard work all morning, stopping on our way out of town to get our well deserved munchies and a coke. A reward for all the hard work we had put in. LOL I just remembered this other game we used to play. It was call Super Sonic. (This was before Sonic the Hedgehog) The point of the game was see who could get their chores done the fastest. Granted, we were still doing chores, but it was fun when we made it a competition. The prize for winning was bragging rights while watching the looser finish her chores. She would go to the store with me, or to pay bills, or whatever. Yes, I had friends my own age, but once Slutty Hoe and I crossed the line from being squabbling siblings to getting along, we started doing everything together. Funny how I fought that growing up, but once we made it to the friends point, I actually wanted to include her. Now a days, I sometimes get sad because we cant spend as much time together as we used to. A side effect of growing up and leaving the nest, but it still sucks.

Slutty hoe has always been there for me. I think it is wonderful that even after all the shit we put each other thru over the years, we are still best friends. She knows she can tell me anything and I wont judge her or hold it against her. I know she does the same for me. Yeah, we may still "burn" each other (Cunt to English Dictionary anyone?!) but we both know its all in good fun and nothing is meant by it. I don't want to imagine my life with out her. I have gotten all mushy on here before regarding the Illustrious Slutty Hoe, so I'll spare you all.....this time.

I love you Slutty Hoe. I will see you tomorrow in time to set up for the shin dig. I hope you have a Very Happy Birthday tomorrow, and Many Many more.

I love you.

Piggy Nation

2006-07-12T13:55:00.000-06:00

Over the 4th of July holiday weekend there was a shooting here. I know, you are all going into shock. LOL Hey, lay off the sarcasm and rolling eyes. Yes, the Burque has murders all the time, but don't you think that I wouldn't bring it up here, in this blog, unless there was something different or unusual? That's right. Its not like I am a raging murder statistic freak or something. Sheesh...Okay on with the story.

First thing on the news is that there has been a murder, and the victim was driven to the hospital by someone other than the paramedics. The authorities tell the press that they are having a hard time with the crime scene since the victim wasn't found there, so no other information was being released. Two days later the news channels report that the victim had been the step father of an off-duty Albuquerque cop. Ohh the plot thickens...

A few more days go by and it is reported that the off duty officer was the one who shot his step father, with....get this....the officers own state issued police weapon. Then, he didn't even call 911 after he shot his step dad. Oh no. He called in thru his police radio asking for a supervisor. The news people even played the dispatch recording. The man sounds pretty calm, mumbling his way thru his request to speak with a supervisor, and the dispatchers confusion as to why an off duty officer was calling in requesting a superior over the police radio in the first place.

Just wait, the story gets better.

This man is not in jail right now. In fact he is on "paid administrative leave". He isn't working, so basically this guy just got a free vacation courtesy of us tax payers, for murdering a family member. Not only that, but his fellow officers were not very transparent while doing the investigation. They took DAYS to release the report of what happened and even then only very sketchy details. I think the news crew had to dig to find out anything. Even then there is not a lot of coverage on it. Like it all went away in a day or so. Now, the news crews here tend to drag out any murder reporting until they have squeezed out every single detail. Not this time though. This is proof, PROOF, that the cops here are corrupt. I looked online all day yesterday and all day today trying to find the article about it, but can you believe I didn't find it? Ha. I wonder what that means..

I wonder, also, if he is found guilty, if he has to reimburse the state for the pay while he was on "leave". Somehow I doubt it. What about the every day common murderers? If they have 9 to 5 jobs, do they get paid too? I very much doubt that as well. So right now, while I sit here at work, earning my pay, paying my state taxes, I am paying for this man to murder his family and then take a vacation. Nice. A testament to the governing bodies in this state.

I have bitched about cops on here before. I have even tried to give them the benefit of doubt, assuming, that like most groups, there are the occasional bad ones that ruin everything for the actual good ones. But I STILL to this DAY, have yet to have dealings with a decent cop here. Are they all corrupt? Is it just New Mexico or Albuquerque? It is certainly frightening to think that people with authority and power like they have are the ones that are supposed to be protecting us. Ha. Who protects us from them?

UPDATE: 7/13/06 : I found this today. Not much more info, but there is at least something. I love Albuquerque cops.

Long Weekend

2006-06-30T08:51:00.000-06:00

Woo Hoo! 4 days off of work!! This would be me, if I was green, only had one eye and an antennae..

Luckily I don't, otherwise I don't think the Hubby would have married me. I would have most likely either been the most popular freak in high school, or shunned from society, roaming from circus to circus, until the Mothership arrived to take me back to my home planet of ZOIFKSJHKJSHIUWENNS. (yes, that's it's correct name. If you were from that planet it would make perfect sense...)

I hope everyone has a very Safe and Happy 4th of July Weekend! Slutty Hoe, Lord Dragon, you guys drive safe. I'll see ya in a few hours!! YAAY!

We Miss You, Aunt Gwen

2006-06-29T15:03:00.000-06:00

On this day, 2 years ago, Slutty Hoe, Momma and I had to do one of the hardest things we have ever done. We had to say good bye to the beutiful woman in the picture above. I have been riding a knifes edge of tears all day, as I'm sure Slutty Hoe and Momma are doing.

Aunt Gwen was a wonderful, beautiful person inside and out. I always felt she was special and important to me, but I never knew how truly big her heart was until I attended her memorial service that had standing room only. She touched a lot of peoples lives and made them better. She was always quick with a smile (a small trait I hope I got from her), a kind word, and laughter. She was a role model to me and the closest thing to a sister as she could come to my momma. She was the first one Momma called when either Slutty Hoe or I had a major (or even sometimes minor) event happen in our lives. She was there from the day I was born, and I thought she would always be there. Even though hundreds of miles seperated us, I always felt her presence in my life.

You may be wondering why it took me two years to write about her. Well, its been hard. I have taken the easy way out, by not dealing with it, and pushing it down, much like I do with a lot of my other feelings. A total guy trait, I know, but it works. For a while at least. Today, though, I feel I should say something. It hurts, yes, but a woman like her does not deserve to be forgotten. I know I cant accuratly express how much Aunt Gwen meant to us. Even now, as I write this, the tears come too easy.

I think about you all the time Aunt Gwen. I know your up in heaven, watching over us three, most likely drinking (if thats allowed in heaven. I would think it would be, with out all the nasty hangovers), playing with Fred and some of the other friends we have lost along the way. We still miss you, and I know there isnt a day that goes by that at least one of us wishes you were still here.

We love you, and always will. Looking forward to seeing you again...one day.
For more information on her life, please read her obit
here

*Just a little note, I didnt proof read this post. If you find mistakes, please forgive them this one time. In the future I will be sure to make it up to you.*

King Keeler, Big Wheeler, Cat Peeler...Yeah

2006-06-27T14:54:00.000-06:00

Every day I walk out of the house, its an adventure. Take this past Sunday for example. The hubby and I decided to drive down to the car wash so I may wash my very dirty Truck. We pull into the first bay, and start pulling out the mats when I hear a voice behind me say "Hey Man....". There are usually a few transients waiting around asking for change in that area, so it really didn't come as a surprise that we were approached. What was a surprise was this guys angle. Now, I have heard everything from "I ran out of gas, can you help me out" (with no car in site. How far did you walk, dude?!) to the honest truth, such as "Can I have some spare change for a pack of smokes". This guy reached a whole new level. First off he asks for 3 dollars for antibiotics. (I've never encountered a bum who wanted exact change) He goes on to tell Hubby that he needs them for this...and dumbass me, I look. He has this HUGE, NASTY cyst or sore or something growing out of his arm about shoulder level. It was the size of a Baseball, I shit you not. If I could have had the foresite to take a pic with my phone to post up here, I would have. This picture was the closest I could find..Ugh.

I am a huge wussy when it comes to wounds. I love my hubby, but I sure as hell don't want to take a closer look at the huge gaping wound he had just acquired. Why this guy thought I wanted to look closer at his is beyond me. The hubby gave him the 3 bucks but he didn't go away though. He still had to show hubby his collection of pennies he had gathered and then proceeded to wander around the rest of the car wash. We continued on washing the truck, not making any comment at what we had just seen. After a few minutes I didn't hear the Puss Guy anymore, so I relaxed a little. I don't know why I was so tense. Seriously, if Puss Dude had tried to touch me all I would have to do is land a punch right there in his ginormous Ball-o-Flesh and Puss and he would have probably dropped like a baby. But living in this city, I know to be on alert all the time while I'm out of the house. Not like my house is much more secure, but at least I have weapons of all kinds readily available. Its just I have known people (women mostly) who have been robbed in broad daylight, so I'm always sure to be aware of what is going on around me, who is around me, and what my options are in case I run into a problem. I think I could have handled Puss Dude though as long as he didn't leak on me. Om only know what the hell caused that in the first place and I sure as hell don't want it in my body.

About 10 minutes after I had last hear Puss Dude talking I see him come out of the gas station right next door. First he stops to ask the guy smoking outside if he has any matches. Then Puss Dude hooks up with his buddy and they walk across the street, to home I would guess. He gets about half way across the road when he starts yelling and waving at the hubby. He just wanted to say Hi and thanks again. Nice.

I wonder how long Puss Dude is going to work that antibiotic angle? I mean he can only do it until his arm falls off or he gets it fixed. Will he really get it taken care of though? Why should he when he can use his disfigurment to scare and even disgust people into giving him money? Really, he doesn't even need any cash to go to the doctors to get help. I'm not sure how it is in other states, but I know here, there are services like that for people who cant afford regular medical help. Yeah, he will probably be there all day waiting, but is that much different than a regular doctors office visit? Also, he could go to any emergency room with how bad that thing was, and get help. By law a hospital can not turn some one away who is dire need of medical help, weather they can pay or not. I know this. The hubby knows this. I figured it was common knowledge. So, really, this guy shouldn't be able to scam money in such a way. But, on the other hand, the shock value of having a baseball sized lump of pussy flesh shoved into your face certainly over rides any common sense, other than the ones that scream RUN!!! That's why I think he will continue to use that excuse for bumming cash until it gets too bad and either puts him in the hospital or worse.

I feel sorry for the guy, I really do. I wish there was more I could do for him. I try to help out with charities when I can, donate the odd dollar or 2 to the panhandler standing at the exit ramp off of the freeway. Especially if they have a dog. The dog suckers me in every single time. But this guy...I totally believe he just blew whatever cash he had acquired right there in that gas station and will be out again, showing off his wound to other unsuspecting people, getting his "3 dollars" a hit.
Everyday is an adventure.....

Making a Mess and Loving it

2006-06-13T15:36:00.000-06:00

Yep, that's yours truly and Slutty Hoe as young'ens. Hard to believe we were ever that little and cute! Its true though. I have pictures to prove it. MUHAHAHA

I was trying to think of some memories I could share with you, but alas, my brain has quit for the day. Seriously, if I look inside my eyelids, there is a sign that says "Gone Crazy. Back Soon". I am a little worried. Meh, I doubt it could find a dirtier place than my skull to reside in. And if anything, my brain likes it DIRTY...

So, enjoy the pic. You don't have to read this post by the way. Not like it says anything world changing. Or even awe inspiring. If your looking for those things I would suggest some other blogger. This is just me. Rambling on and on with more titles for posts than I have actual posts..

Hope ya'alls Tuesdays went well. Mine is over in 13 minutes and counting........

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head

2006-05-17T08:36:00.000-06:00

Dude, I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to have a good day. I have been having such shitty ass days, that I finally had enough. I decided that no matter what happened today I would greet it with a smile, patience, and with a rational attitude. Then I actually GET into work and TRAVIS has sent me 3 fucking videos that completely took up my entire storage space in my work email address!! I only got the videos from him, one fucking spam message, and 2 notifications that my inbox was full. WTF???? I forwarded 1 message to him yesterday. A message, not a video, and then all yesterday afternoon I got mainly video messages from him that were HUGE! Does he save them all up and send them out at once? Was he possibly going thru his collection and sending me all the ones he thought I would like? Doesn't he know I'm at work and cant even WATCH half the fucking videos that are passed around??? Sorry to rant on you hun, I just needed to vent. I was expecting emails from suppliers and all sorts of other work related shit this morning and instead I open up my box and find 5 messages where I usually have over 30. Just an example of what an inconsiderate asshole Travis can be. Thoughtless, just like most men. (I said most. I know that there are a few of you guys out there that actually are considerate, thoughtful, and have more brains than God gave a door knob. But to be honest, you are kind of a rarity)

Next, I get paid today, right? I'm supposed to have direct deposit. I have HAD direct deposit since I started here, 4 flippin years ago. Well, since we lost our payroll clerk, we started outsourcing our paychecks. So this morning instead of a pay stub and a full bank account, I have a check made out to a different name than what is on my account and 68 bucks in the bank. Gr. My boss says the names shouldn't be a problem. I hope the fuck not. Even if it isnt a problem, I still have to spend MY lunch hour at the bank. If it IS a problem, I'll have to grab my damn marriage certificate from the house tonight, then tell my boss that due to the outsourcing company's fuck up I need the afternoon off tomorrow to do a name change at the bank. Otherwise the check they just gave me today is totally fucking useless and I just worked last week for FREE.

I tried!!! I tried to start off my day good. Its not even 9 am yet and today already sucks. Sucks, and what really sucks out loud is all of it, ALL of the shitty ass things so far are beyond my control and were put into motion before I even crawled out of bed today. No matter how hard I try to stay positive, sometimes I feel like I'm constantly the bug and never the windshield.

I hope your day is going good so far slutty hoe. Are you still walking on cloud 9? :o) I cant even begin to explain how totally and completely happy I am for you, baby. I knew you would find a good man & that there was one out there that would be perfect for you. I think this one might be it. He is the whole deal. Funny, friendly, a gentleman, handsome, good person, good daddy, all rolled into one 6-packed, buffed out package. (No discussions about his actual "package"...the guy is already like a brother to me LOL)

And you, Miss Hobbit? I hope everything is groovy in your neck of the office. :o) How are my Nephew and Neice doing? You know, I tried to steal your idea of a naked nap, but the hubby was too busy doing stuff outside, so I took one by myself. I don't think its nearly as fun as it would be to have someone else with you, but I did get the bed all to myself. That was a treat all in its own.

Sorry to rant to you guys. I really wanted to have a good day today. I still might. They haven't broken me down yet. But dammit. Its not starting off that good and I'm so totally scared that its only going to get worse and then I'll end up in tears. Ah well, you know what? Fuck it. The worse thing that could happen to me here at work is that I get fired. In which case I would laugh in their fucking faces, go home, and do some Yeager shots.

Discussion.....

2006-05-16T13:37:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll give you a question, you discuss it:
If curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought him back, does that mean if your cat dies you can feed him a snickers and he will come back to life?
Also, who is this curiosity person and why is he going around killing cats?! That Bastard!

Getting to know you....getting to know all about yooouuuuu.....

2006-05-03T12:59:00.000-06:00

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
On my way to Burger King for Lunch

2. Who will be your next kiss?
Probably the hubby

3. What is the largest amount of money you spent in one store?
Hm. I think about $500.00 when I bought my waterbed..oh..15 years ago

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Yes, Eyeore's ears are pink. (He is sitting on top of my computer moniter)

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Um..a couple of weekends ago.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Unfortunatly, yes. But only for another 4 hours or so

Question 7 Missing In Action...we have sent a search party

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
2 weekends ago, fixing to do it again this weekend too!

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
nope

10 is missing too and presumed dead

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Still sipping on my Dr.Pepper from Lunch

12. What are you wearing right now?
See Picture at the top.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I make Hubby do it

14. Last fast food you ate?
Burger King

15. Where were you last week at this time?
right here at my desk where I am now

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Yep, bought two tank tops last weekend

17. When is the last time you ran?
I cant remember. I hate running

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
NASCAR Talladega Race on Monday

19. What is your favorite class?
Um...Upper Middle? Oh wait, you mean school, ok, Sciences

20. Your dream vacation?
Tropical Island with indoor plumbing and great company

21. Last persons house you were in?
Mine

22. How old are your parents?
47 & 45

23. Are you in love?
yes

24. Do u miss anyone?
more than anything

25. Last play you saw?
Phantom of the Opera last summer

26 is also MIA... that makes 3 dead or missing.(I think the lazy bastard that wrote this quiz just couldnt think of any more questions)

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Laundry, Dishes, sleep in that order

28. Who is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?
Jamie

4th number struck dead, this is almost an epidemic

30. Ever go to camp?
Camp, no, CampING, yes

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
In elementary school, but I think they only do that to build self esteem

32. What do you want to know about the future?
EVERYTHING! I hate Surprises!

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Put on Ciera this morning, but its probably worn off by now

34. Are you hungry?
Nope, just had me a Whopper Jr.

35. Where is your best friend located?
In Farmington

36. Who is your best friend?
Mandi and Audra, Cristy is quickly becoming another one!

37. Do you have a tan?
Somewhat..I'm not as pasty as I usually am this time of year

38. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
Does it matter?

39. Do you collect anything?
Toasters

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Almost this morning, but he didnt want me. Last time was probably a few years ago

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Its better that way

43. How do you like your drinks?
Cold, in a shot glass, then into my belly

44. Do you like hot sauce?
Hell ya!

45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Yep. Gotta have clothes for the road trip this weekend

47. What is your heritage?
mutt-like

48. Are you someones best friend?
I hope so

49. Are you rich?
In friends, very much so. In money, not so much, but I would rather be rch in friends than money anyways, so it works out nice

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
Got it From Barb, and I freaking love her! One of the best things that has happened to my good friend Pat

The Saga of Princess Maria...

2006-05-01T09:26:00.000-06:00

I wrote this for Maria when she was having a bad day and it cheered her up, so I thought in lieu of a "real" post today I would just share "The Continuing Saga of Princess Maria"...enjoy!

Once upon a time there was a sweet princess named Maria. She was beautiful, smart, and funny, but she had no prince in her life, so she was sad. To help her feel better her maids-a-waiting, Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni decided to hold a prince dance. That way Princess Maria could have her pick of all the available Princes.

The night of the dance came and all the handsome princes (and even a few of the fugly ones that weren't invited, but decided to crash the dance anyways) began arriving. Princess Maria watched them arrive from her tower window, so far not spotting any one that caught her eye. When she thought the last coach arrived, she turned to go down stairs and meet her guests, but she heard the sound of tires squealing. She ran back to the window in time to see a Bright Red Dodge Viper come skidding sideways into the drive way. Princess Maria was mesmerized by the car. Her eyes widened when she saw the handsome Prince that got out of the Viper. Sure, he looked a little like Linus from the Peanuts gang, but he was the most gorgeous man Princess Maria had ever laid eyes on. (At that moment, her eyes were not the only things she wanted to "lay" on him, but we will get back to that)

Rushing down stairs to introduce herself to the handsome prince in the Viper, Princess Maria tripped on the hem of her very expensive and oversized gown and went tumbling down the stairs! Oh NO! Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni rush to her side to make sure she was okay. Luckily the massive amount of dress Princess Maria was wearing worked like an air bag and cushioned her terrible fall down the stairs. Princess Maria, being awfully embarrassed at falling, ordered everyone's heads to be cut off so that no one would ever tell of the embarrassment she just had to suffer. Everyone except for Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni, since they were already sworn to secrecy for other "Indiscretions". Right then the Handsome Prince, who looked like Linus and drove a Viper, walked thru the door. Since all the other princes had been be-headed, he was the sole prince left at the party. He bowed low in front of Princess Maria.

"My dear lady, what a nice collection of severed heads you have" he coo'd at her.

"Why, thank you handsome prince. You should see my bathroom" she said in her most sultry voice. "What is your name, hotpants?"

"I am Prince Justin, of the Farmington Clan. I have traveled many miles at top speeds to attend your dance and to win your heart" he said.

"Please to meet you, Prince Justin of the Farmington Clan. Is that a lyre in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Princess Maria giggled.

"I'm just happy to see you" Prince Justin replied.

By this time Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni have thouroughly checked out the Viper and decide that this is the Prince for their beloved Princess. They quickly call up the royal minister before either the princess or the prince have a chance to change their minds, or figure out what's going on, and get him to come to the castle right away. Changing of minds does not seem to be a problem since Princess Maria and Prince Justin have already started going at it like they are recently released prison rabbits in heat. Before there is anything more than heavy breathing or heavy panting, the minister marries the two royals, who then collapse on the floor in a mess of clothes, flesh, sloppy kissing noises, and for some reason tic tacs. Who knows with royals. Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni are happy their princess is happy and getting some again, which means considerable less be-headings around the palace. Totally disgusted, the minister leaves the princess and prince on the floor to continue their debauchery. Tonina, Josharina, and Anjarooni go to the local pub and wait for the screams of pleasure signaling the princess is about done for the night, before returning to clean up the sticky mess left behind by the two royals. Prince Justin and Princess Maria continued their long, happy relationship until Princess Maria discovered naughty toys and Prince Justin discovered that comfort comes in a little blue blankie.
The moral of the story?? Dont let Anj tell stories when its almost the end of the day and she is bored.

**By the way, I promised Slutty Ho I would write a story about her too, so be sure to tune back in!!Clickity Click Click Poo!!**

1:22 and All is Not Well

2006-04-28T13:25:00.000-06:00

This job really pisses me off sometimes. I have located a problem with one of our "employee's" that has begun to trickle down into my other job duties. I have notified my superiors of the problem and what I think needs to be done to fix it, but I was told that there probably isn't anything they can do because the person has done this sort of thing for years now and she is old. Okay. Just because someone has done something for years doesn't make it right. Hell, back in the old west days, people drank opium like it was water, and everyone knows now that was wrong. There are probably a ton of other examples of this sort of thing, but with it being Friday afternoon, after a week from hell, I cant think of any more. A quote from Terry Pratchett seems appropriate though. "A Million dead people cant be wrong" It does not make sense to me to keep doing things the wrong way, especially when we have located the source of the problem and have the ability to correct it, just because that's the way things have always been done. The world changes. People change. Policies change, or at least they should. As for being old, well, I don't see what that has to do with anything. Besides age discrimination. I don't care if this person is old, young, cute, ugly, skinny, fat, tree hugger or anti-Christ. The fact of the matter is she is causing problems. Big problems that don't even need to occur. Now that we are loosing two of our current employees, taking care of this problem old lady is now my responsibility. Right now, its looking like I am going to have to babysit this "old" woman and cater to her every whim. GGGGRRRRRRRR. For those who know me in every day life, know that I am way too busy to play nurse maid to an old woman. If I was a big wig in this company I would tell her right off that things are going to change, and if she has a problem with it, then she can find another job. I'm sure the company would survive with out her. In fact I would be willing to bet my wages that it would thrive with out her. But, alas, I'm only a grunt and with out the backing of my bosses, I am nothing more than a bitchy employee. Even though I am right and everyone knows and agrees with me. Why, oh why must we hold the hand and baby this woman?! I truly do not understand.
Add this to all the other little fires I had to put out this week because some one else fucked up. Sometimes it really blows having a good work ethic. I know it doesn't seem like I do, especially since I do most of my blogging during working hours. I tell you what, though. I get my work done. I get it done correctly the first time. If I make a mistake I am the first one to stand up and say "Oh Shit, that was me. How can I fix it?" I wish this company had more people like that in our employment.
I love my job, most days, I really do. But if they will not back me on this problem and allow this woman to get away with the things she is doing, I am going to seriously start looking for another place to work. I can not work for a company that tells me I'm right and have a valid point, but will not back me up because they are afraid of an old woman. (Or young woman or man or whatever) If they wont support me on this, how can I trust them to support me in the future? How do I know that they wont end up throwing me to the sharks at some point? My bosses don't even know what it is I actually DO here! And I'm the only one in the entire company, either here or in LA that does it!
I'm beginning to think that I deserve more than cost of living raise when it comes time again. I figure I'll give them a choice. You want me to work like this, fine, but I want money to match the stress and work load. If not, then you have two weeks to find someone to replace me and I'll train them as much as possible for those two weeks. After that, they will be on their own, up the shit creek, with nothing but their hands for paddles. Suckers.

Lobster Legs

2006-04-24T09:13:00.000-06:00

Oh. My. God. I am so freaking burnt. If I could locate the USB cord for my digital, I would have taken a picture of my legs and shoulders and posted them on here today. Sheesh I got totally fried yesterday! I even had to stop off at the store on my way home to get some of that Aloe Vera Snot to lube up my toasted body parts! The lady who rang me up told me (in a very sweet, motherly tone) that I needed to get my butt home and put that stuff on right away! Seriously, I cant even cross my legs, they hurt so bad! Oh well, the first burn of the summer is always the worst and at least I got it over with already. You know, some people are not as fortunate as Slutty Hoe when it comes to sun bathing. I swear, she probably has a beautiful golden tan this morning, while I'm walking around looking like I should be a spokesman for Red Lobster. LOL Ah, I'm just jealous.
Man, I had a great weekend. The highlight of it being hanging out with Miss Hobbit, Munchiebear, and Slutty Hoe at the 'rents house yesterday. (This is where and when the burning took place, but I wouldn't take it back!) It was so much fun just chillin on the back porch, playing with Munchiebear, and talking. I miss hanging out with Slutty Hoe and Miss Hobbit. I love you two so much and I always enjoy the time I get to spend with you. Next time, I totally need some sunblock though...
I may write more later today, I don't know yet. I just wanted to whine about my burn, and give a shout out to two of my favorite women in all of the world. I'm hella busy at work today, it being the last week of the month, but I want to keep my readers happy, so I am going to try to post more.

One thought for today, before I go....something that has been rolling around in my brain since last night, while laying in bed, my legs and shoulders on fire...

I wonder if my burn is not, in some small way, a taste of the hell fire that my soul will eventually be plunged into...

Kind of deep, but being the sinner I am, I cant help but think that sometimes. More on that later. I think I need to explain my religious stand point sometime..

Cause Under Water, The Fish don't Stink

2006-04-21T14:43:00.000-06:00

Well, I got a request to update this here blog, so here it is. I'm sorry I have neglected you yet again. Sometimes I don't understand why you love me so much.
Friday afternoon here in Alberwossit, about an hour and 15 minutes until I can leave my peaceful little cubie and battle it out on the freeway. Oh, I see some crazy shit on there all the time, but I'm not going to turn this into a traffic blog. In fact, I don't think this blog even has a theme, unless you count whining as one. Ha. I try not to even whine too much on here either. Basically, what I want to do, my goal if you will, is entertain you. Make you, my lovely readers, smile, laugh and possibly invoke thought. I have to admit, though, that I am too chicken shit to write what I'm actually feeling most of the time. I use traffic posts and posts bitching about other people as a shield to hide what's really going on in my life. To be honest, I don't know if I have the cajones to actually write what I feel inside. Why am I so afraid? Its not like I don't have a right to feel the things I do. Its not that I think my thoughts and feelings don't matter. I think what makes me so afraid to really bare my soul to you is that, finally, I would have to take a good look at my life, and I'm not sure I would like what I saw. Its scary facing your fears. Its even scarier knowing that anyone can come along and read this and know them too. Of course, only my closest friends and the few random people who stumble in know about this blog. The random people probably don't hang around too long, but I know that certain readers of mine check every day to see if I have updated. To those people, I apologize. You deserve a better blogger than I. Someone who can be honest with you with out hiding behind some bullshit.
Maybe one of these days I'll grow some big hairy ones and I'll lay everything out on the line. Maybe I'll keep being the polly-ana doormat I am now for the rest of my life. Never standing up for myself. Never saying shit if I had a mouthful. Ha. Yeah right. I may not spill my guts on here or to anyone, but I'm no meek little woman.

I could never get the Hang of Thursdays

2006-04-13T14:44:00.000-06:00

***I wrote this last Thursday and had it saved in my drafts, so in lieu of a Phriday Phunny post I give you "Proof that Anj is a nerd". Enjoy***

Arthur Dent had it right when he said that. Why are Thursdays so hard? Even Slutty Hoe is having a hard time today. Well to be honest, both of us have had our motivation meters bouncing on zero for most of the week.......oh...wait....did you see that?!........my motivation meter stopped bouncing! That's right. The current, official motivation meter reading for Anj is at zero. Stick a fork in me, people, I'm done! I'm not interested in doing any more work today. I really don't want to go grocery shopping, and be warned Slutty Hoe I will probably call you while I'm getting it done. You know how I hate shopping alone and if I cant have you here physically then I will have you here thru technology.

Maybe Thursdays suck so hard because its so temptingly close to Friday and the weekend but not close enough. The smell of freedom is in the air, but its still two whole days away. (If you count Thursday all day and then Friday all day. I do, because I'm weird like that. Its not the weekend to me until I clock out of work and get into the parking lot.)

Maybe Thursdays don't suck at all, and its just me, Slutty Hoe and Mr. Dent who have problems with it. I say me, S.H., and Art Dent just go and sit in a bar or pub or some place that serves Tequila Shots, every Thursday, all day long. My reasoning behind this is that if we are in a drunken stupor for all of Thursday, then it wouldn't matter how bad it sucked. We would all be floating in our alcoholic haze, not notice anything. Arthur can talk about the girl that got away, Slutty Hoe and I could smile, nod and think about how we could undress him with out taking off that sexy bath robe. (the robe is sexy because of all the Tequila Shots)

It just dawned on me that a lot of you might not "get" my post today because its referencing Hitchhikers Guide. Terribly sorry about that. Mr. Dent and I were on the same page today and I felt incredibly akin to him. Go read the book if you don't know what I'm talking about. Its awesome! Its funny! Its better than the movie! (Although the movie has its good parts) Yeah, I am a nerd. At least I knew I was long before today, so this isn't a total shock to me. Slutty hoe has been calling me a nerd for my love of Star Wars for years. *shock* Now, what's wrong with a little Jedi, Light Saber fighting action?! I mean Obiwan is HOT! Luke would be HOT if he would keep his whiney mouth shut. Even Princess Leia's is hot in that outfit she wears in Return of the Jedi. Wish I could find one of those gold bikini outfits. I would wear it all the time. To the store, around the house, out on my Ubrikkian luxury sail barge...
Please forgive spelling errors, its not like George Lucas designed the spell checker

Adventures in commuting

2006-04-06T14:59:00.000-06:00

I was traveling on the freeway the other day and I was noticing all the stupid, fucked up things people do driving 60 mph or more in heavy traffic.
Example numero uno:
There was this mini-van weaving in and out of lanes, not really gaining any places in line. He would jump over to the right lane and act like he was going to pass someone, then he would just sit there. (I'm using "he" as a generic term, these ass hats could very well be women) Then he would jump back over to the left lane again and ride the bumper of the dude in front of him. I witnessed him do this about 5 or 6 times before he finally got ahead of the guy he had been trying to pass for roughly 10 miles. Then what did he do when he got his spot? Oh, nothing. He started blocking traffic. The guy was in a big 'ole hurry to go no where. He didn't pass anyone after that. He didn't even really seem concerned with doing the speed limit anymore. He just wanted in front of the guy in front of him. Huh.
Example number B:
This morning there was a big pick up truck riding my ass all the way to work. Traffic is bumper to bumper, no one is moving any faster than the dumbass blocking the lane 20 cars up. (different person, not the mini-van previously mentioned) The truck behind me could very well see this. (I could and my truck is littler than his) The two right lanes next to us are bumper to bumper as well. No one is going anywhere. In situations like this I dig deep into my patience bucket and chill. Good tunes, a cup of coffee, life is good. I could see this guy getting pissed and more pissed though. Like I was the only other person on the freeway this morning and purposely got in his way. What the hell made that guy think he could make us go faster by riding my ass? Hey, buddy, if your going to keep doing that, at least use some lube next time. KY warming is preferred. I chafe something awful when you ride my ass like that and don't lube me first.
These are just a few examples of the wonderful adventure I have every day driving to and from work. I used to wonder if people knew what they were doing and didn't care, or if they have personal problems that caused them to be aggressive drivers. Now, I think that people are either a) lost in their own little world, totally oblivious to everything going on around them. (Older people, teenagers and soccer mom's)
or b) Know what they are doing is wrong, but have no concern for their lives, or the other lives on the road around them. (My hubby)
Its weird, but every time I turn the key in my truck (okay not every time, but damn near) I think about what I'm doing. I think about the consequences of my actions on the road and possibly the consequences of my reactions on the road. When I put enough thought into it, I realized that I am putting my life in the hands of thousands of complete strangers, most of whom should not be breeding, little lone operating a heavy vehicle. But yet, I get in that truck every morning and battle it out on the freeway. Maybe I like the adventure. Maybe that's my little way of living on the edge. Maybe I'm just as crazy as the ass hats I see every day. Hm. That's something to think about.

Alrighty, I am going to be in Farmington for the next few days. Another wedding. Although I am looking forward to this one more than I ever did my own. LOL I'll hopefully have some good stories to share upon my return. I plan on hanging with Slutty hoe and Miss Hobbitt, so you just KNOW adventure is around the corner when we three get together.

Until then, everyone have a great weekend!

Dedicated To The Ones I Love...

2006-03-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

On this day, in 1979, my parents were blessed with a screaming, wiggling bundle of trouble. Yours truly.
Usually birthdays for me are not a big deal. They come and go with the usual wonderful calls and messages from the people, who, for some reason or another, love me. Sometimes I go out for drinks with friends, or pass the evening quietly at home. I'm not much of a center of attention type of person. In fact, I started out this day not happy. I have not been looking forward to it this year, for some reason I have not figured out yet. To top it all off, I had a weird/scary dream last night about automobiles being launched thru the air by some evil force. It woke me up at about 3 am and I could not get comfy enough to get back to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning I was not ready to face the world. But, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, got dressed, put on my new necklace I got from ma and pa, picked up some Crispy Creams™, and still managed to make it into work on time. When I got in I had an email waiting for me from my friend Miss Whiplash telling me to check the unseen board. She had posted a Happy Birthday Thread just for me! I was surprised and overwhelmed that I meant enough to her for her to do that.(I also have a thread on the stamps forum! Started off with a really sweet poem from DS) I had wanted to pass the day un-noticed, not making a big deal out of it. In fact if I had my choice I would have remained in bed this morning with the covers over my head. But I realize now that my b-day (or anyone's b-day)isn't just about me (or that person). Its a reason for your friends and family to celebrate the life of someone they care for. I understand and dig that for other people. I just have a hard time believing that I am important enough to warrantt such attention. I know, I know. Chalk it up to low self esteem.
I can honestly say I have a lot of great friends. I am very lucky and very blessed in that area of my life. I do the best I can to be a good person, but I know the mistakes and the bad things I have done. I guess that's what I see the most in myself. Bad things. It makes it hard to feel worthy of such affection and attention. I know I'm not bad in the serial-killer, puppy-kicker kind of way, but I'm no goodie-two shoes either. If thoughts alone could send you to hell, my handbasket would be huge and covered in glitter.
I have teared up a couple of times at all the sweet things people have done for me today. A co-worker even put a little candle in my doughnut and sung to me. I feel so loved. I'm glad now that I didn't hide all day, wallowing in my own self pity. I have been reminded that although I am not perfect, there are people crazy enough to love me for who I am, good and bad. (me, not them)
I already feel 100% better because of all of you who have wished me a happy birthday today. I don't know how I could managed with out you all. I do know that my life would be considerably less rich with out you lot in it.

So to all my friends and family:
I love you all so much. Thank you so much from the very heart of my heart. You all mean the world to me. Never before have I been reminded of this more than today. A day when I was feeling at my lowest, you have lifted me up. My cup truly over floweth...

Going Postal In LA-Reader discretion is advised

2006-03-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

You know, I am generally an easy going, laid back type of girl. I have learned that life is too short to get all bent out of shape over things that are beyond my control. I don't even let little things bother me. I'm not usually quick to get angry either. However, the people who work in our LA office have done pushed me over the edge today. They are some of the most whiney, lazy, good for nothing but collecting a paycheck, bunch of bitches, the lot of them. They refuse to look in the same fucking computer program I have, all connected to a server that has all the data of everyone's system on it before calling me and crying because they cant find something. Open your fucking eyes. One little thing is different and they freak out like ants who have lost the trail back to the mound. They can not think for themselves. They have to have someone hold their hands thru every step of their day. Even though I have only worked here 4 years and most of the dumbasses out there have been here at least 10, they still insist on bothering me for information they could otherwise look up themselves. Another problem with them is their ability to not see the problems right in front of them, but instead point fingers immediately out here.

What the fuck is up with people like that?! I mean I would have been embarrassed as hell to tell my boss the reason why I don't do something is because its too hard to scroll to the right. OMFG. I swear on all that is holy, if I go postal its going to be these peoples fault. And you know what? I'm not going postal here in NM. Oh no. I am going to do the entire world a favor, drive out to LA and take out all of the people in that office, with the exception of a person or two who I like out there. Those people will get fair warning to call in sick that day.

I wouldn't really go on a killing spree, no matter how much LA has pissed me off. I think what pleases me most about that whole going postal idea is the fact that I wouldn't be bothered by them again and could get on with doing my job. What I would really like to do is put all those people on that island from LOST and see if I couldn't convince the polar bear to eat them. You know how much I love animals, so that seems like a perfect rout for me. "Save a polar bear-feed them people from my LA office!"

I just get frustrated through out the day at these people. How am I supposed to be a productive employee if I'm constantly holding LA's hand and walking them thru simple bullshit?! Why is it that my bosses here appear to encourage and allow them to get away with this kind of behavior? I mean, do we employ 5 year olds out there?! FUCK!

03/27/06: I wrote this post on Friday, when I was feeling really pissed at LA. But over the weekend, while I had time to think more calmly, I had an epiphany. I don't have to hold their hands. I don't have to baby them. I can stand up for myself and tell them NO. (Yeah, I can hear the big huge DUH coming from all you. Hey, I am a people pleaser, but I am getting better about standing up for myself and not being such a doormat) I have already told them NO twice today! (And it felt GOOD!) I checked with my manager first to make sure the things I wanted to tell LA were correct, and gave them a strong, resounding no. It was received pretty well out there. I haven't had any whiney calls...........yet. Its still early though. I think the main thing is they are always trying to see how much they could get away with. How much they can have me do for them, before I finally say that's enough. Well, you punk bitches out there, stick a fork in me, because I'm DONE. No job is worth the stress I have had lately. No job is worth having to put up with lazy m-f'ers like you. I'm done fucking around with you guys. From now on, if its my job, it will be done, if its not, then fuck off. I'm not your slave. I'm not the person you get to come to when you need something done asap anymore. Get off your lazy bitch asses and start earning your paychecks, bonus's and commission. Which by the way, we only get our paychecks here. No bonus, no commission. We do get lunch once a month, but I think they are getting off CHEAP by buying lunch for 10 people, versus actually having to pay us what we are actully worth.But I realize that they dont have to shit for us, so I keep my bitching limited to the blog. And it feels so good

Snow (not the white Canadian rapper)

2006-03-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

It snowed here today! Okay, for anyone reading this that is located in the East, I live in the desert. Snow is a rare item here, so when it does fall, it is reason for much celebration.
*Doing happy dance around truck, paying homage to the snow gods*

There are a few bummer things about the snow today:
1. It didn't snow enough to warrant getting a day off from work. bleh.
2. It will all be melted away by time I get out of work
3. People drive INSANE when it snows, even if there is just a little on the ground.
4. Not enough to make a snowman. Not even a small, perverted, anatomically correct one. Doesn't that make you want to cry?

One more thing. I was talking with a friend of mine online yesterday and she has had some bad experiences with people judging her by they way she looks, which has caused her to be insecure about meeting new people. This pisses me off. I have not known this woman very long, but I can already tell she and I are kindred spirits. (Thanks, Ann of Green Gables, for giving me a phrase that accurately describes my purely platonic relationship with several of my most favorite people) She is funny, perverted, sweet, intelligent and an all around good person. Why the fuck someone would stop being friends with her based solely on how she looks is totally beyond my comprehension. How someone could live their life that way also blows my tiny, sick and twisted little mind. I feel bad for people who judge others like that. They have no idea of all the neat people they are missing out on because of thier own small-mindedness. Fuckers..

I have learned that the people who are your real friends don't care about what you look like on the outside. They love you for who you are on the inside and always will. That's the way I try to live my life always. I'm not perfect, so I don't feel justified in demanding perfection from others. I love all my friends for who they are, regardless of size, race, gender, sexual orientation, or haircut.

So, to the people who were mean to my new friend "Fuck Off, Bitches" And that comes from the heart...

This Post Has No Title!

2006-03-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to write a post now for a while, but not had the time, energy or creative juices to git r' done. Today, though, I have that feeling that I need to write something. I cheated you all out of a post last time, by putting up my Which DW Character Are You quiz. So to make it up to you, today, I am going to post something worth reading. I have no idea what, even as I sit here and type this sentence. But something. I feel I owe it to you, my faithful and completely insane readers.

Oh! I do want to give a shout out (if that's not too ghetto) to my sis's cell mate Miss H. I very rarely use real names in here Miss H, and since I don't know you well enough to give you a clever nick name, I will refer to you as Miss H until such time that I can come up with something cool for you. I will also take suggestions from Slutty Ho, since she knows you better than I. (ohh, "better than I". What a grammatically correct sentence. Holy crap, Batman!)

Lets see, what is going on in my life that is interesting? Well, I joined a different DW forum called The Unseen Messageboard. I am really digging the people I met on there so far. All around nice, friendly people. What is really cool is that they understand my frustration with other "people" online. I use the term "people" loosely, especially when referring to a certain "person" who has had mention before in this here bloggy. The reason for the loosely termed is that I don't think "people" with attitudes like hers should be considered fully functioning members of society. They are an emotional drain on other people, they cause nothing but hate, discontent and hard feelings, and they thrive on creating trouble for normal, everyday folks like myself. "People" like her should instead be labeled something like:
"waste of skin",
"poster child for sterilization"(with a caption that reads,"don't let this happen to you",
or comes with a sign that says
"Beware, psychopath ahead. Subject to extreme changes in mood, overwhelming bossiness, and a strong smell of dead fish".
I'm still holding out hope for Mafia style revenge on her. Maybe put a horse head in her bed or something. Actually for her, I would be better off getting a Huge Bovine head. That would strike fear in her heart!

I'm still happy about March being here. Things are starting to bloom again and I love it. The world doesn't feel so dead to me. The only thing is I am having a hellova time wrapping my mind around my birthday this year. I want to cry whenever I think about it and its never bothered me like this before. I'm too freaking young to feel old! What the hell am I going to do when I turn 30? Or 40?! It just sucks left and right monkey nuts...

Hopefully I'll have news about the London trip soon. Might have some other news too, but its too big to tell now. I don't want to Jinx it. (tee hee. I'm such a tease)

Finally a character that understands my Bad hair days

2006-03-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

Sergeant Delphine Angua von Uberwald

Got me pegged, except the vegetarian part.
I like my meat.

Discworld: Which Ankh-Morpork City Watch Character are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Clickity clickity click click, boo.

March!! Oh Happy Day!

2006-03-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome March!! I love you, with your blustery beginings and your spring like end. I love that your bring the birds back to sing for me in the morning. I love how you bring warmth to help the honeysuckle in my yard grow and put out its intoxicating perfume.
Only day two of your wonderful reign and already I am shivering with anticipation of the sunny days to come. No more hiding in two or three layers of clothing. No more horrible socks and tie (or zip) up shoes! No more need to have three blankets on the bed! Oh sweet freedom!!
Best of all, no more dark, depressing house! The window coverings can come down and once again my life will be filled with Light! Oh glorious light, who I so love to lay in while I take a nap, who warms me when the the cold breath of the air conditioner blows too hard.
Oh, March, you and I were made for each other. I only wish it could be March all year long.

COFFEE, coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee

2006-02-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love coffee?! I LOVE IT! I love the smell of coffee. I love the taste. I love the cracked out effect it has on my little 115 lb body. I love the word coffee. It just sounds so harmonious to my ears. It holds promises of late nights and spontaneous cleaning frenzies. Its also the Life blood of my mornings. Breakfast of Champions. Its gotta be thick. Its gotta be black. Its gotta be able to stand a spoon strait up and down in the center of the cup. Not too hot though. I don't like to burn my tongue. Room temp to cold is about perfect. I don't mind a few grounds floating around in there, either. That just adds to the flavor. I don't even mind drinking what's left in the bottom of the pot after its been sitting all day. YUMM.
Last night I had a hankering for some coffee after work. I generally try not drink any after noon, just because the crash from sustaining a caffeine buzz like that all day is too much for me to bear. One minute I'm scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, the next I am passed out like a drunk cheerleader at a frat party. So last night, about half way thru my reheated cup-o-black tar from the bottom of the pot, I start feeling the effects. My legs start tapping up and down to music I must have only been able to hear on a subconscious level. It had to have been some kick ass Megadeath or something, at the rate my legs were going. I kept standing up, feeling like I should have been doing something, then sitting down again, when I realized there was nothing I wanted to do. My hands were shaking, my mind was racing, and I swear even my eyeballs felt twitchy. Its okay to feel like that for a bit, but after a little while, it begins to wear me out. No one can sustain those high levels of energy for long. I figured out a solution, though. Now granted, this solution would not work at the office or anywhere else that would require driving at a later point. Its simple. Yeager. That's right. Yeagermeister. The evil, dark brown, NyQuill tasting, comes in a green death bottle, Yeager. (Cold of course) Yeager for me is a big downer. I do a couple of shots and instead of feeling slutty, I get lazy. Put enough shots in me and all I want to do is go to bed. Touch me, molest me if you must, but don't wake me up, even after its over. Honestly, I don't want to know what was done with my unconscious body. I mean, what if I like it and want it more?! Then your going to know just what a freaky bitch I really am. Its best just to play innocent. :o) So, to the counter the effects of a late evening coffee binge, do a couple of Yeager shots. The energy from the coffee was still pulsing thru me, but the Yeager got rid of the feeling of needing to be productive. It allowed me to calm down enough to stop my leg from bouncing up and down like crazy, and to play a little Need For Speed: Underground 2. When I mean I played "a little" it really amounts to about 3 hours of quality xbox time. Who plays "a little" xbox?!?
The Yeager seemed to get along with the coffee in my system really well. I had no hangover type feelings today, and none of that out of control drunk Yeager buzz either. The two came together in my blood stream and flowed harmoniously to my brain, neither of them fighting for control, just chilling, making me feel all warm, fuzzy and slightly tinglely.
MMM coffee and Yeager.. Life is Good.

Still More Friday Funny...

2006-02-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ello, Ello!!
Your favorite slutty-moo-cow-ho here with another Friday Funny!!! Woo hoo!!! I know you are bored at work, no motivation to get anything done, and just wishing this day would hurry up and get the fuck over with. That's why I think you should pop on over to Something Awful's Photoshop Phriday and enjoy yourself! There is at least 10 minutes of work wasting time just waiting for you!!
Here's a little sample of the excitement that is just a mouse clicky away!

So get your cute asses over there.
clickity click click...

Better Now

2006-02-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, my hormones have chilled. Except for the cotton saddle between my legs and the constant urge to check the crotch of my jeans for blood stains, I am back to normal. Well, as normal as I get. Don't expect 100% normal from me because I have never been, nor ever will be 100% normal.

Speaking of, what the hell is NORMAL? Who decides what's normal and what's not? Why is it that if you say normal enough times it starts to sound weird? I have no idea who set the "normal" standard or why, but my theory is if you think you are normal, then you probably aren't and people who go about worrying about what is normal and what isn't have way too much time on their hands.

So here I am on a Thursday, with tons of work to do, a meeting scheduled for this afternoon, and I feel like writing. I know I'm not the worlds best writer. I know my posts are not always easy to follow or even that much fun to read. The point is, I'm trying, I keep at it with out giving up, and I have sought and found help improving my writing skills. I found some really good advice Here. His tips are easy to understand and helpful. I am going to try to follow them as best I can. Hopefully, you, my wonderful loyal readers, will notice an improvement in my writing and find reading my post all that more enjoyable. Oh Happy Day!

You may be wondering just what the hell I am going to write about today. *Smile* I was just wondering the same thing. There is some drama going on in my little world this week, but I am not ready to discuss all that as of yet. Work has been reasonably quiet, but I think that's because the guy in LA that pisses me off so bad is on vacation. I have not been on my favorite forum in weeks and it seems the only people who miss me on there are guys. I didn't realize that I had pissed off so many of the women. I think what finally turned them all against me was my post about another certain member of the forum. The way I figure it, though, I never mentioned her name (real or the name she uses on the forum) and for all they know I could frequent a shit load of different forums. I don't see how I could have pissed them off so badly if they really have no confirmation of who I was talking about. *Shrug* In a way, I feel bad because I really liked some of the girls on there. On the other hand, do I really want to be friends with people who would get pissed at me for expressing my own opinions, especially in what is considered my "online diary"? Not really. I have people in my life who love me, opinions and all. Those are the people who matter.

I have been wondering, as of late, just who the hell I really am anymore. I cant remember ever feeling this lost in all my life. Seems like when I was a kid it just didn't matter, or didn't matter enough for me to put any thought into it. Now, I think about it a lot. I feel like I have lost part of me. A part I really didn't know was missing until I went looking for it. Part of it is I have lost my imagination. Oh, I can still call on it every now and then to come up with something to amuse my friends and family, but the soul of it is gone. I haven't made up a new character in ages. Well, not since the tragic loss of Penelope Gaywad. I wonder which choices I have made in my life have led me to this place and how can I get back to where I was before. I feel a need to revisit my past self to help me discover how to come to terms with the person I am now. First stop, music. I have played some kind of instrument since the 5th grade. The last 9 years I haven't touched a single one, though, and I miss it. So, since I was inspired by Dad's trip to Scotland, I have begun to practice bagpipes. Not on actual bagpipes yet, but on a groovy little practice chanter that will help me get my fingering and breathing techniques back on par. So far I have learned 4 notes, which is a big deal. If you have ever tried to play bagpipes or even just the practice chanter then you know how difficult the fingerings actually are. The first night I practiced for about an hour and by the end of it (and most of the following day) my wrist was sore. But, I got the notes down and can sound them on demand. Its quite the accomplishment and I'm proud of myself!

*(heh heh..She said "fingerings"...heh heh) Dammit Beavis! Get out of my head!*

Next stop..Who knows?! I'm finding that life cares not for the plans I make. It has its own plans. I'm just doing the best I can, living life one day at a time, and trying to hang on to small shreds that I still recognize as me.

Painting the Town Red on V-day

2006-02-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Great news! My Uterus decided to get into the spirit of Valentines Day! What a nice surprise! It looks like I have a recreation of the Saint Valentines Massacre going on in my panties.

Ugh, I hate this time of the month. Sorry, but yes, this is going to be a period post. If this sort of thing grosses you out, then go read something else, you wussy. I'm living it, with no choice in the matter, so therefore I feel I have the right, and yeah, almost a need to write about it.
Hubby gets all nastied out when I try to talk to him about it. To him, seeing the wadded up rags in the trash can are enough to cause him to gag. Okay, guys, do you think we (us girls) actually like not being able to get any for 5 to 7 days?! Do you think its fun for us to have to haul ass to the bathroom to change a nasty, overflowing, mini cotton diaper every 2 to 4 hours?! What about those nice little "accidents" that have brought back the sweater tied around your waist fad? (Actually I think that's a centuries old fad. As long as girls have been accidentally leaking onto their pants, we have had sweaters to cover our asses.) Cramps are a BLAST let me tell you! There is nothing more fun than being woken up at 4 in the morning by excruciating pain in the lower abdomen. Oh, and the actual feeling of your uterus leaking into your panties is swell too. I mean, who wouldn't want the feeling of peeing your pants with out any control of how and when it happens. My favorite part is getting out of the shower in the morning, only to drip a few drops of blood onto my nice off white bath rug. Oh yeah. Love having to scrub a rug before work.

Scrub a rug. That would be a kick ass song title. Maybe I'll write a period song for us girls and title it "Scrub a Rug". That might also be a good lesbian song title..

I think the worst is the chocolate cravings. I am not normally a chocolate type of girl. Most times I don't even like chocolate very much. For the first few days of Aunt Flow's visit, however, I can not get enough! I want m&m's, kitkats, Hersheys with Almonds, anything I can get my grubby little hands on! I feel like a fucking PIG!
The emotional roller coaster is no picnic either. One minute I'm happy, everything is fine, the next I feel like curling up into the fetal position and crying myself to sleep! WTF?! Its totally irrational and it drives me crazy. (short drive these days) I know its my hormones going crazy inside me that causes all these side effects. That doesn't make it any easier to handle, though.
The point to this post? There isn't one. You gotta problem with that? Ha, join the fucking club. I just wanted to get these few random period thoughts out of my brain. Its my blog..If you don't like it, then hit that clever little button at the top right of the screen that says "Next Blog" and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
See what a bitch I am?! Yeah, I think its time to sequester myself to the bedroom with a pint of Rocky Road, some good tear jerking chick flicks, and ride the hormonal storm out.

The New Face of Evil

2006-02-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

Oh sure, he looks cute and innocent enough, but as with everything, looks can be deceiving. Some of you may be thinking how evil could a sweet little thing like that be? My answer to you is Pretty Damn Evil.
Let me lay down why I believe this, and why, even with my unending love for all animals, I despise this cat.
Reason #1 is my hands look like I'm into some kind of self mutilation. I have had kittens and puppies before, so this dance is not new to me. I know during a certain part of their growth, they will, inevitability, need to chew, claw and play. This little hell spawn takes it step further by subjecting me to an barrage of attacks while I'm cooking, scratching an itch, sitting quietly reading a book, or trying to sleep. If it moves, he attacks it with a passion only found in wild animals hunting for their food. I have no idea why my hands in particular seem offend him so much. There is no moving once I am under the covers in bed. No adjusting the blankets, no rolling over, no breathing or talking. Any of the previously listed brings down a wrath of sharp little pin pricks and little razor teeth. Forget about tying your shoes. Too many strings. I have settled for a nice pair of zip up tennies, although they aren't much better. Zippers seem to attract his attention as much as shoe laces do. Plus, my dad gives me crap for having zip up shoes. I get to hear "Too lazy to tie your shoes anymore?!" No, dad, I'm tired of having to pull my flesh out from underneath the kitties claws and try to band-aid it back on so my hands don't end up looking like the crypt keepers. At least the zip shoes go on faster. Less time for an attack to be planned.
Reason #2 is he is constantly getting into EVERYTHING. Straws are also part of the offensive items list. Any time there is a fountain coke in the house, it has a life span of about 10 minutes, depending on how distracted the evil one is. We have had to move the dog food bag (all 30 plus pounds of it) to a secure location or it gets chewed open and little doggie food bits go everywhere. This particular event happened last night at about 12. I, being the smart person I am, thought it would be safe in a cabinet. Wrong. Seems cabinet doors are no match for an evil spawn kitty with more determination than body mass. All of my emery boards have gone M.I.A along with 90% of the pens. Anything left on the coffee table is relocated to the floor where the dogs promptly pick it up and eat it. We have lost all sorts of goodies due to the tag-team efforts of Hell Cat and accomplices. One of their personal favorites is Hubby's creamer. There really is nothing like coming home after a hard day at work only to discover that your house looks like a crack factory blew up inside it.
Reason #3 is he is a worse mooch than the dogs. How this is possible I have no idea. The dogs, themselves, sit at our feet while we eat, sending out "Gimme some food, we are STARVING" vibes, and looking at us with the biggest, saddest eyes on the planet. Any person who would walk in on this nightly ritual would swear that we beat and starve our animals. Anyone who hangs out there longer than a few minutes knows this is not the case. That doesn't stop the doggies from trying to convince strangers of their plight though. I can handle/ignore the pathetic looks and the vibes. What I cant handle is fighting off an evil little fur ball the entire time I'm trying to stuff food in my own face. Process goes something like this:
Take a bite, throw the kitty. Take another bite, grab kitty (who is trying to shimmy up my pant leg) and toss him again. Take bite, laugh as the hubby fights off kitty. Take bite, realize laughing has brought attention back to me, grab kitty before he can get all four paws onto my plate, throw him again. Give kitty a small bite so I can have a moment of peace to shovel down what's left of my dinner. Notice doggies saw me share with kitty, therefore guilting me into giving them a little piece. Put dishes in sink, fight off kitty who insists that he could do a better job of cleaning my plate, even if it has already been rinsed and is in dish water. Repeat
It amazes me that this cat will eat anything. Seriously, the only thing I have found that he doesn't like is marshmallows. Chocolate, chips, cookies, onions, hamburgers, pizza, lasagna, you name it, he has tried it and came back for more. He caught a fly last night and ate that too.
Reason #4 is the early morning Ultimate Fighting Championships between Hell Spawn and Midnight. For some reason 5 am seems to be the perfect time to start some shit with the dog. EVERY MORNING! Even on weekends! Starts with a pounce, a well placed bite on the tip of a doggie nose, a yelp, followed by some "Rouwrouw" from Midnight, with the kitty bouncing around, jabbing, ducking, and dodging the dogs snapping jaws. Usually ending with me fumbling in the dark for the soft body of the Hell Cat and tossing him over board. What do you do, Mid, that pisses him off so bad first thing in the morning?! Well, stop it! I need that extra hour of sleep before the alarm so rudely starts screaming at me.

I have to admit, the spawn of Satan has his good moments. His only saving grace are those rare moments when he has put the deadly claws away and busted out the purr box. Then he is as cute as.....well....a kitten. It doesn't last, though, and he promptly goes back to being a holy terror.

Don't believe me or any of this? Come spend the weekend with me. I dare ya. Just be sure to bring plenty protection.

Oh, I've Got Big Balls...

2006-02-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love it when I use song lyrics for the titles of my posts? :o) Can you guess what song was playing on my wonderful-I-don't-know-how-I-ever-lived-without-it GoGear when I started typing this post? Seriously, that thing is the shiz-nit. I have, currently, 997 songs loaded on it and I still have room for 14,003 more. That number is correct by the way. No, I did not accidentally put an extra zero in there.

Sheesh. I don't think its going to be possible for me to fill the entire thing, unless it runs good for the next 10 years or so. Maybe by then I will be closer to reaching the 15,000 mark. Right now, though, I'm thoroughly enjoying hitting random and letting that sucker play away with what I have already loaded. I love being able to hear anything from bagpipe music, to 70's disco, to dance hits, to classic rock, to ICP all in one road trip. Ha! It makes me laugh when "Amazing Grace" (as played by some wonderful bagpipers) comes on then is followed by "She Aint Afraid" by ICP! Talk about two opposite ends of the music spectrum!

See, I have always had kind of an Eclectic taste in music. I love all kinds from the real twangy old school country to some of the hard core rap and heavy metal, including everything in between. GoGear allows me to collect all of that in once place and listen to any of it at will. Now that I'm spoiled with an hawsome music collection all in one spot, I don't know if I could ever go back to regular CD's or radio. Hell, I can tune in the GoGear into my stereo (anywhere) with the handy dandy radio adapter thingy. (that's the technical term by the way. It says "thingy" right on the package)

Another mega-super-cool feature is I can download music and pictures from pretty much any computer. I don't have to convert into iTunes or download a whole bunch of new programs. Its SUH-WEET. If anyone out there that's reading this has been looking to buy an iPod or some other MP3 player, I cannot recommend the GoGear enough. There are smaller versions of what I have for less money, if 15,000 songs seems like over kill to you.

Geezus, I sound like a commercial.
Go Buy a GoGear! Spend Money on a toy that has more uses than you can shake a stick at!

Wait.....I just shook a stick at my GoGear and it didn't seem impressed....

Anyways, I guess that's enough love given out to the GoGear for today. I swear, if I could, I would make love to it. No pokey outey parts, though, and I'm not sure how good the moisture would be for it.
Guess I'll have to settle for my favorite fingers...as usual. At least I have some good tunes to wack off to. tee hee :oP

Response to comments

2006-01-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

You all crack me up!!!!
Aud: Thanks for the support, Hun, and thanks for stopping by and reading this. :o) I'll miss you this weekend when I come to town. Have a great time snowboarding!! BTW, when are we doing a girls trip again?

Cristy: I'm a believer. Can I see the pics?! LOL ;o) Really, I can't see you or Slutty Ho stepping into a church in Vegas with out spontaneously combusting. But, I love you both anyways.

Slutty Ho: Oh hell yeah I want to go to Vegas sometime. I get that its you, me, and my sweet lil hobbit, but who is #4 in the group?

This wasn't a comment, but I thought it worth a mention. I woke up with the Pinky and the Brain song stuck in my head. I haven't seen that cartoon in AGES! I keep hearing it, though, over and over.

Pinky and the Brain, they're Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius, the other insane...

Random thoughts from a Diseased brain

2006-01-26T09:37:00.001-07:00

The following post contains a lot of bad, bad words. Reader discretion is advised
I'm sorry I have neglected you, dear blog. I have made promises, tantalizing you with hope for a story about the wedding I was in, and have failed to follow thru. I have no reasonable excuse for my lack of posts. I have been busy at work (where I do most of my writing, naughty me), stressed at home, and generally not able to put into to words what is going through my sick little mind. Today I feel compelled to write, though. I have no idea what this post is going to be about. I just have a few things rolling over and over in my mind that want to come out.
First thing, People who piss me off (a generalization):
People who don't take responsibility for their own actions. There is a guy that works for my company, but in our Los Angeles office. This man will do everything in his power to try to put the blame for his fuck up on anyone else besides himself. If he would put the effort he gives to pointing fingers into actually FIXING the problem, I believe the company would run better and more efficiently. But since this man has worked here for YEARS, and the owner of the company doesn't really seem to care what the fuck goes on, I don't see change happening any day soon. Because of my problems and experiences with the above mentioned finger pointer, I have learned the meaning of Cover Your Ass. (CYA) However, I grow weary of defending my actions to him and anyone else he can drag into the fray. It takes more time to prove to the powers that be that HE did the Fuck up then it takes to actually resolve the problem. To me, people like him are a waste of time and skin.

People who take things personally when they shouldn't be:
Another person who has recently pissed me off is this chick on a forum I frequent. Her posts lately have been jumping down peoples throats about little comments they had made in what I view as in a lighthearted way. None of the comments were directed at her, to her, or made any mention of her name at all. She just stuck her nose in and CHOSE to make a snide comment, versus keeping her mouth shut and avoiding the thread. I don't see a need for writing nasty things on the forum such as "Thanks for pissing me off". WTF? Are we supposed to cater to your mood swings? Who the fuck died and made you Queen of the Forum?! I have had second thoughts (briefly) about things I wanted to post on there because I didn't want to "piss her off". Huh. How dumb am I to try to walk on egg shells around a complete stranger who obviously has problems? Just so you know, oh offended chicky, I really don't care if I piss you off. If you have a problem with me, you know where to find me, and you had better bring everything you got. You may be bigger than me, but I have some pent up anger that I have been saving for just an occasion. I know, I know, you are having problems sleeping. Hell, we all do. Most of us, however, do choose to not take it out on innocent bystander's. Believe it or not, you can choose what you write. (Novel idea) If you don't like something someone has said on the forum, especially if it wasn't directed at you in anyway, why the fuck cant you ignore it? Do we all need to know what a bitch you are? Well, we do now anyways. Oh and by the way, I'm not going to kiss your ass like everyone else has. As far as I'm concerned you should owe EVERYONE an apology for taking out your personal problems on us. We all have problems. There are SEVERAL people on that forum who suffer from insomnia, but are they acting like total cunts? Um, No. Just. You.

People who drive SLOW in the fast lane on the freeway: You know who you are. Move the fuck over. There isn't anyone in the middle lane and in case you didn't know, passing on the right is illegal and dangerous. I will do it though, if you don't move your P.O.S out of the way. Either that, or fucking bump it up so you are actually doing the speed limit. Actually, anyone on the freeway caught doing 45 or less should be tarred, feathered, strapped to the back of a Winnebago, and hauled down the freeway doing over 80. I don't know how that would fix the problem, its just something I would like to see.

I'm a Bad, Bad Girl. Tee hee

2005-12-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

You Are a Bad Girl

You are 30% Good and 70% Bad
You're a total bad girl, from your wild hair to tattooed toes.
But you're too badass to even care if you're labeled "bad"!

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

You guys should pop on over to that site. There are a ton of little quizzes to help you waste some time at work or where ever!!
Oh and John Stamos was my 80's man according to a different quiz, but I still prefer Wil Wheaton. *wink*
Tell me, who are yours? Do you agree with what the quiz says, or would you have picked a different guy?
I also found out from that same site that I have a PhD in Men, but just like most other degrees, its completely useless.

Dangerous Bunny

2005-12-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

What a sad sad place our world is when a blow dryer will no longer tame a "wild hare".

alright, alright. That was cheesey... But it made you smile didnt it?

ohh changes

2005-12-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hello my wee little chick-a-dee's. (Hey Mandi, did you ever have that art teacher in Junior High that called everybody that? I did, but I cant remember her name! She was actually pretty cool)

Well, I f*cked around with the template a little on this thing and I think I have it just about they way I want. Just about. I'm still playing when I get time. Hmm.. I'm finding it is really fun and interesting to mess around with all this and figureing out what codes do what. I could do crap like this all day.

So I want to know what you all think. Any ideas? Suggestions? Comments? Insane Offensive Rantings? Anyone? Bueller??? Bueller??? Does it even look like any work went into it at all? I mean, I know what it took to change the colors and stuff, but I want some outside feedback. Let me know; good, bad, indifferent.

Oh and I need to give props to Webmonkey for all the kick ass cheat codes and color codes. Without your wonderful services my site would be immensely lamer. Thank you!!

The Cheese is Old and Moldy

2005-12-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yumm...cheese...HA HA HA HA!! Just Kidding!! You all know I don't like-a da cheese. I was just thinking about "Encino Man" today. I think Brendan Fraser should have stayed in the loin cloth the whole movie, don't you girls? I mean, C'mon. One of the few men on this earth that can actually pull off the loin cloth look and they almost immediately take him out of it (which in its own right is a VERY good thing) but then they stick him in the uber-cool clothes of the 90's skater. Bleh. I say loin cloth or naked. Otherwise your just wasting film.

Anyways that's not what I wanted to talk about today. I wanted to talk about my little adventure on the freeway last night. Oh yes. Everyday is an adventure on the Albuquerque freeways. Last night was special though.

I gave The Bird to a cop. In my defense he was in civilian clothes, driving a civilian car with his ole lady in the passenger seat. Now, you all know very well that I don't just go around randomly flashing the bird to innocent bystander's on the road. This guy, however was in the passing lane, not passing anyone, going super slow. So when Dave went to pass him on the right, the dude tapped his breaks (smart move, copper) and then proceeded to honk at us as we go by. So I flashed him a Big Ole Birdie. As soon as we get around him he finally moves over to the right lane, gets right up next to us and flashes his badge. OH NOOOOOOOO! Honestly, that just pissed me off more. Am I supposed to be afraid of you because you have a badge?! I have a badge too and just like yours (when you are in civilian clothes, car, etc) it don't mean shit. It was just a prime example of the power trips the cops are on here. Now I will admit that there are probably some reasonable, good cops here. But I have never had the pleasure of interacting with one. When we got evacuated from our homes due to a fire in the area, I had to beg, plead and finally threaten to talk to the press that was there before they would allow me to go get my pets out of the house. I was once pulled over for having a headlight out and the cop ACTUALLY TOLD ME that he was hoping I didn't have insurance so he could tow my truck.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't tax payers pay cops salary? Where the hell do they get off thinking that we should bow to their badge?! I thought their motto was "To Protect and Serve". Hmm.. Maybe they should change it to "Intimidate and General Asshole-ishness" I know asshole-ishness isn't a word but I kinda like it.

Funny thing about all this is even though he could have taken down my License Plate # and potentially come looking for us, I wasn't worried. Still not. Maybe its because Dave's name is on the truck. Maybe cause I know he was just an asshole on a power trip and if he wants some he can come get it.

Which brings me to another point. What the hell is wrong with me lately?! I feel really grumpy here a lot lately and the only time I'm in a good mood or feel happy is when I'm talking to any of you, my whole three readers. I have somewhat of an idea what could be causing this negative feeling inside me, but I cant get my words to describe it accurately. Hmm. More on that later I think...

Tee Hee. I flipped off a cop. Damn, I feel like a bad ass today.

For Cristy

2005-12-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Warm Spot

2005-11-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

Shelby and Mid:

Now isnt that just about the cutest thing you have seen all day?

The Bell Falls Silent

2005-11-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

Sad news. Eddie Guerrero was found dead in his hotel room on Sunday.

I'm an avid WWE Smackdown! watcher and Eddie was always one of my favortie characters. He always gave me the impression that he was enjoying being out there in the ring, even when he had to play a jerk. He really f*cked up there for a while with drugs and almost lost his family, job, possibly his life, but he pulled himself above all that to become the wrestler I knew and loved. I admired his frankness about his drug addiction, how strong he became afterwards, and how important his family was to him.

Yes, I know wrestling is not real. I understand that. Thats not to say, though, the moves they do and the effort the wrestlers put into each and every performance isnt real. Those guys (and girls) give us their all every single week.

My heartfelt condolences goes out to Eddie's friends and family. He will be missed.

Update: 11/15/05 Anyone catch Monday Night RAW last night? Seeing all those huge guys crying just tore my heart up. The tribute was nice too. Way better than my sad little post here.

Testing Complete

2005-11-09T13:35:00.000-07:00

Now if I could just refrain from using the word "Testie"
You can still view my pics on my old web space. Email me if you need the link.

Hopefull I'll be able to figure out how to put my pics on here soon.

Picture Testie...

2005-11-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

I like that word..Testie..rolls off the tongue doesnt it.

Testie, Testie, one two........three?!?

2005-11-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

This is a test. This is only a test. If this had been an actual blog entry it probably would have been funny.
Thank you.